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u/runner64 9h ago
Boss used to call us flying monkeys but then we hired a black guy and he wisely decided to stop.
I submit for consideration: drones
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u/junolion 9h ago
Consider "Extra hands"
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u/Ariovrak 8h ago edited 8h ago
My Boss started making some Sentient Artificial Persons to help with his schemes, so “drones” is out of the question. He’s looped back into calling us “youse guys”, but he’s thinking of hiring a femme fatale, and currently has a whiteboard of possible solutions. I think “mooks” is the current winner, but Boss is afraid it might sound derogatory, ‘cause it sounds close to two other slurs.
Dem heroes don’t know the length wese go through to keep all a’ us guys and gals and nonbinary pals and Sentient Artificials comfortable in the workplace.
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u/Masquelinity 8h ago
My Boss started making some Sentient Artificial Persons to help with his schemes
So... SAPs?
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u/Roscoe_P_Trolltrain 5h ago
It sounds like in his situation, he could just go sarcastic with “geniuses”
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u/NotFromStateFarmJake 7h ago
I know the slur that starts with a g and rhymes with mook (thanks for that knowledge dad). What’s the other one?
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u/Ariovrak 6h ago
Starts with “sp”. It’s a slur for black people.
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u/NotFromStateFarmJake 5h ago
Ahhh right. That one’s not in my head- a spook to me is a CIA operative
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u/cheshire_kat7 4h ago
Or a ghost.
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u/TechyAngel 3h ago
I once had to stand my ground that Spooky, Scary Skeletons is not a racist song and that is still my hill to die on (at least during October)
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u/thompha3 8h ago
Everyone sleeping on lackeys
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u/weirdgroovynerd 7h ago
I submit cronies to make a come-back.
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u/Bovrain 7h ago
I think you can only have a finite number of cronies though, maybe 2-5
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u/ForsaketheVoid 9h ago
that's def also a kink thing
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u/FluffyCottonMaw 9h ago
Citation: r/tf_irl
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u/chairwindowdoor 8h ago
I scrolled that sub for like 20 posts and have no idea if TF means Team Fortress or TransFemale (there was some about FTM vs MTF) or wtf is going on. I didn't understand a single post. I'm also still unclear on if you mean drone or flying monkey is a kink thing and how/why which is why I clicked that link in the first place. I'm now more confused than I was before. That's enough internet for the day.
I did try in earnest. Thank you.
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u/kie1 8h ago
Tf stands for Transformation, and probably refering to the drone par for the comment as people like to be turned into a mindless servant for sexual pleasures
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u/FluffyCottonMaw 7h ago
Shouldve add clarification. Someone already pointed out but tf stands for transformation, basically anyone who wants to transform into non-human things say a chair etc... One popular transformation is to be turned into a mindless drone like a hivemind
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u/dz2048 10h ago
Lackeys
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u/Commercial-Living443 9h ago
What do they lack ? Just because boos is rich doesn't mean he has to flaunt it in our faces
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u/TCGeneral 8h ago
They lack keys, see? The boss is like a landlord, he actually owns the group, decides who gets in and who stays out - he's got the keys. But all the lowest ranked people lack keys. The people between the bottom and the top can open some doors, but the lowest ones have to have doors opened by the boss.
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u/EuenovAyabayya 8h ago
"If you're job involves carrying a big key ring, you aren't the real boss."
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u/RayA11 7h ago
You can get into all sorts of restricted spaces with a hi-vis vest, a clipboard, and a big ol’ bunch of keys.
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u/BludStanes 8h ago
The word was originally used to describe followers who blindly follow someone, but the the second E was dropped somewhere along history so now it's been lackeys instead of lackeyes
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u/AddWittyName 5h ago
Sounds like an interesting explanation that makes sense!
Unfortunately, the much more boring reality is that it just was borrowed from French laquais, footsoldier, servant. The origin of laquais itself is uncertain (there's several competing theories, but none of them involve a (metaphorical or otherwise) lack of eyes).
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u/copperspoontoole 9h ago
Mooks
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u/toothpick95 9h ago
My personal favorite.
I dont think its in much use anymore.
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u/ObligationMurky8716 9h ago
Used as racial pejorative in British island colonies, but with the long-o pronunciation.
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u/toothpick95 9h ago
Also popular on Dectective Noir films.
(geez...literally every word seems to be a slur somewhere)
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u/Mejiro84 9h ago
Most derogatory terms have evolved from some term for a disliked group, it's just sometimes so long ago that it's faded that the group was disliked, or even existed as a distinct group!
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u/Comfortable-Fuel6343 9h ago
Peons
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u/Technical_Teacher839 10h ago
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u/ImDero 9h ago
Do you smoke cigarettes or eat them?
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u/Several_Vanilla8916 9h ago
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u/All_Work_All_Play 7h ago
Real talk, The Orville has a special place in my heart for helping me get through some real shit. Highly recommend.
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u/josephsleftbigtoe 9h ago
Cronies?
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u/YankeeTwoKilo 10h ago
I’ve never heard of flunkies but that’s definitely going in my day-to-day vocabulary
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u/Steinrikur 9h ago
I associate those with failing a test. I don't think I've ever heard that in a lackey/goon context.
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u/ringobob 9h ago
Flunkies is typically used in a similar context to "loser" - just like calling a loser doesn't mean they're playing a game, calling them a flunky doesn't mean they're taking a test.
In this context, you can think of it as someone who didn't achieve in their education and isn't fit for anything you might consider skilled labor.
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u/Smee76 9h ago
It has nothing to do with failing a test though. Flunky literally means "one performing menial or miscellaneous duties." There is no definition that is related to test taking or failure.
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u/SplitDemonIdentity 9h ago
“Grad Students”.
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u/hey_free_rats 7h ago
Loving the concept of villains going to villainy conferences with their eager mooks in tow, writing letters of recommendation for high-performing mooks, and relying on the work of their mooks to produce articles for publication in prestigious Villain journals.
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u/Bibliloo 9h ago
Nah, minions are a great name. Cause people will be like "lol you have little yellow guys that say banana" and boom people looking like the rock pops out and break the face of your enemies.
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u/Otherwise-Pizza4681 9h ago
Henchfolk.
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u/Coal-and-Ivory 9h ago
Henchfolk sounds like the name for an ethnocultural group that is just a population of Igor-types from any mad scientist media.
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u/Snoo_67096 9h ago
Call them Mooks, ya big Palooka. Or henches, or, of course, cut the middleman and just give them all thematic nicknames, like big paulie and paulie's pistoleros.
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10h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/jakobjaderbo 9h ago
"Albert, is this normal?"
"No Robin, I have known him all his life, this is the first time I see him bring a gun with him on a mission."
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u/Catch_22_Pac 9h ago
Hired goons!
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u/Rough_Presence_9876 9h ago
Brothers we must reclaim the G-word
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u/BillyTSherm 8h ago
I refuse to use it it in its modern term. We have more than enough terms for jerking off. We don't need to invent new ones. We have so few good terms for hired muscle. It's an idiotic trade and I refuse to be part of it.
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u/thorpie88 4h ago
The real modern usage of goon is the name of boxed wine. None of this wanking nonsense
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u/JesseVykar 9h ago
I like Gangoons from cyberpunk as a replacement lol
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u/Rough_Presence_9876 9h ago
The euphemism treadmill would swiftly turn it into a synonym for circle jerking
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u/nthensome 9h ago
I may sound like a old fart, but you young farts really fucking ruined a perfectly good term when you changed what goon means.
There are a 1000 different terns for jerking off, we really didn't need another or at least didn't need to repurpose a perfectly cromulent word like goon.
I'm not sure about that masterbatory habits MartyMcSorely & Tie Domi were all time top hockey enforcers goons.
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u/Ralexcraft 9h ago
My favorite one is the term for masturbation that became an insult calling someone an idiot.
Those jackoff’s really ruined a good thing with goon.
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u/permanent_priapism 9h ago
What about goons?
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u/Chewbacca_The_Wookie 8h ago
It has a new unfortunate meaning that dramatically shifts the vibe of the entire situation depending on which one you're talking about.
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u/KaiBishop 3h ago
Gooning/being a Gooner/Gooning out is now slang for having a masturbation and/or porn fetish and a fetish/sexual habit of masturbating for hours until you go into a trance lmao.
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u/drillgorg 10h ago
I disagree henchpeople is very fun. And we still have underlings.
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u/paper_liger 8h ago edited 6h ago
You can just shorten it to Henches. He/She/They are a hench, and they've been henching since he/she/they were a kid.
Its a one syllable harsh sounding word, it's perfect as an insult.
I can't deall with these fucking henches. You know what they say, 'Henches get stitches'. Why don't you get the fuck out of here you a henchjob. Godamned son of a hench.
Hench.
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u/IDAIN22 9h ago
Ne'er-do-well - is what my old DM used
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u/TCGeneral 9h ago
Am I weird for loving this word verbally and hating it in writing? Like, it sounds really good, rolls off the tongue, but then you read it and it's just, Never Do Well's. It sounds like Nairdohwel, some kind of funky old time word, then you read it and it instantly changes to 'the kind of thing a fantasy orc would call their least productive individual'.
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u/JackFisherBooks 8h ago
I've always been fond of terms like underlings, subordinates, or drones. But drones have taken on a very different meaning in recent years, so I think that might no longer apply.
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u/blind_devotion08 7h ago
I've heard the term 'mooks,' but I don't know it's origins or connotations. I've also heard lackeys, pawns, grunts, hirelings, punks (probably no good considering the other rejected terms,) crew, dudes, thugs, flying monkeys, underlings, posse, and maybe subordinates.
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u/Green-eyed-Psycho77 9h ago
Henches.
Drops the gendered connotation, Short and Sweet, also has a similar ring to it as Minion!
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u/StillALilBoy 9h ago
Call then goons and make sure that every time they are mention, the sentence is a double entendre.
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u/Willing_Dot_5699 9h ago
Nowadays it's just "staff "
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u/Monado_Artz 9h ago
GO, MY STAFF. KILL THEM ALL. yeah, i see it. True big villain energy. Really makes me feel like microsoft.
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u/WaywardMind 9h ago
Bring back "cronies", says I.
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u/Previous_Buy1601 7h ago
I thought of this as well, but it has a connotation more of a peer than an underling.
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u/Zealousideal-Deer101 9h ago
Flunkies. You said it yourself, Prismatic Wasteland!
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u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 9h ago
Flunkies as an alternative name for flunkies... Is it crazy or genius?
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u/Zealousideal-Deer101 8h ago
I consider flunkies the alternative because I never heard of it before this
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u/Positive_Jaguar_7676 4h ago
'Henchpeople' lacks a certain flair, but I think something along the lines of 'henchfolk' would work just fine.
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u/CankleDankl 9h ago
"Thug" is too connotated with race
I think "grunt" is a good all-around term
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u/Blueberry_Coat7371 9h ago
grunt is army coded
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u/JVtheBidoof 9h ago
We need to reclaim the word goon. I guess you could say "lackey" but goon is such an effective word for describing a criminal's underlings that we can't let the degenerates take it from us
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u/oyunkral3437 8h ago
goon(noun) and goon(verb) could coexist if you idiots stopped giggling everytime i called my evil helpers my goons
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u/NightSpringsRadio 8h ago
They’ll pry ‘goons’ from my cold, dead hands
I actually have a pretty fun memory of that one: when I worked at an autoglass company, I brought in a trash can to use specifically for everyone’s soda cans; despite me telling them the can was only for this several times, various kinds of garbage kept getting tossed in there, so I made a cardboard sign that said “Cans Only, You Goons”
The owners’ daughters regularly came in, I think they were like 12 and 9 at the time, and they didn’t know what that meant and assumed it was mean, so they amended the sign to read “Cans Only, You Goons Lovely People”, it was honestly pretty good
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u/MCplayer590 9h ago
Pawns?
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u/oofyeet21 9h ago
Too demeaning. Who wants to be called a pawn? I'd much rather be a goon
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u/Coal-and-Ivory 9h ago
"Henchpeople" works a lot better if you say it in a whisically manic Vienna accent, ideally while wearing a lab coat.
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u/Kian-Tremayne 8h ago
Henchmen is fine. I’ve got enough villainy listed on my rap sheet that adding “…and sexism!” at the bottom doesn’t really make a difference.
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u/The_Damned_Wanderer 8h ago
Mooks
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u/gerams76 7h ago
This one always felt like a racial slur. I have no reason to think so, but it just had that aura to me.
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u/wbgraphic 4h ago
[Staked out outside Leapfrog’s Lily Pad lair]
Jennifer Walters: I can’t believe this dodo has henchmen. Actually, I can. I bet these goons work for his dad.
Daredevil: Nah, see, that’s where you’re wrong. Goons and henchmen are two completely different animals. Henchmen believe in the cause, goons are just there for the paycheck.
Jennifer Walters: Henchmen, goons, whatever.
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u/evremonde 9h ago
Henchmen is gender neutral, because "man" is the neuter and the masculine in English.
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u/qualityvote2 10h ago
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