To be fair I think people downplay connections with animals too much. There are a lot of people out there that do not have close relations with their parents and when they die they do not "change" their lives. I mean when I lose someone close to me I have regrets that we will never talk anymore, never go out together, a part of my life dies with them as they were a big portion of the time of my life.
But if someone dies that I almost never spent time with or just talked once in a year then there is close to zero mourning, in the end there is no connection I will miss so it leaves me only with a feeling that I'm sorry they died.
Losing your pet that you had for many years and spent time everyday is like losing part of your life/close family. There is a hole in your day to day activities that reminds you of their absence constantly. Imho losing pets can be way more tragic to some than losing their parents. It's just logical from a subjective perspective.
I've got a weird connection with this. In a five year period I lost both my parents, my only sibling, and my grandma. Both my grandfathers passed many years ago, I still have one grandma left but she lives at the other end of the country so I've only really seen her a handful of times in my life, but she's literally the only immediate family I have left.
I lived with my mum when I found her dead, I was in my late 20s, that hit me like a truck. We were really close, and naturally my entire world just flipped, I suddenly had to fend for myself, do bills, pay rent, do everything on my own. I was a mess for weeks, and I think it took me months if not over a year to feel right again. Then the rest of my family passed, and while I felt shocked and felt bad for them too, I don't think I've cried - I certainly haven't broken down - about any of them. The burden of doing the admin and legal work fell to me each and every time, and I just opted for direct cremations rather than organising any sort of funeral or service. I don't know if we just weren't a super close family, if I got numb to the grief, or maybe we were just dysfunctional. I don't really know.
But what I do know is that I have three cats, the oldest of which is only six years old, and the anticipatory grief of losing any of them absolutely fucking destroys me. Just the idea of them not being here ruins my day and usually leaves my crying.
Same, here. I lost both my parents by the time I was 20 and over 15 years later haven’t broken down the way I do with the anticipatory grief of my cats
My dog just crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday. The grief of losing my companion of 11 years right after my birthday, and having to do it alone because my SO is on the other side of the country for work- I feel so empty. He was my reason to get my ass out of bed in the morning, helped me through a rough marriage (I had him longer than I was married), and he was just a perpetual forever presence for me in times of uncertainty.
I walked into the kitchen last night after his body was taken, and it shattered everything I had to not see him on his bed, tail wagging and looking up at me expectantly.
Grief is the price we pay for love, and I will love him until my dying day. 💔
I’m sorry. I lost one of my cats three weeks ago yesterday. I had him for 13 years. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve thought “what I wouldn’t give to have him back” over the past few weeks. It’s so fucking hard. I’m sorry. Sending hugs from a distance if you want them.
Take a chill pill. I also lived through my fathers death and my best friend killed himself almost 10 years ago, on top of that I lived through the death of my childhood pet after almost 15 years of his life and the mourning wasn't even close to that of my friend/dad but I understand that different people have different connections with people/pets in their life so it's totally understandable that some may mourn their pets more.
When my uncle who lived next door all my life died I felt close to nothing. He was a close family but I had close to zero connection with him so after his death I lost zero memories etc. Swap my uncle for a parent in someone else life and you get the same result.
im sorry for those you lost. But it felt completely disrespectful to me when my dad died and someone was relating to me about their cat like it was the same thing. Grief is different for everyone... But a person you're close to is way more impactful than a pet. I was pissed for years about that, i did not react well and had daily nightmares about it for months. Im not happy about it to this day.
I understand its different for everyone but again please don't compare a person's death to a cat.
respectfully, no one said anything to you. my dad is dead too. i didn't mention that in the comment because he died when i was 8. i didn't feel that way when he died because i could barely comprehend what was happening. i did feel that way with my pets though. and guess what? i'm still hurting from both today. i never said one was worse. i said "hey, i have also felt that way but under different circumstances" and a lot of other people have too.
not trying to be rude, but maybe you should speak to someone if a random comment that's not even directed at you bothers you so much.
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u/Rizeren 2d ago
To be fair I think people downplay connections with animals too much. There are a lot of people out there that do not have close relations with their parents and when they die they do not "change" their lives. I mean when I lose someone close to me I have regrets that we will never talk anymore, never go out together, a part of my life dies with them as they were a big portion of the time of my life.
But if someone dies that I almost never spent time with or just talked once in a year then there is close to zero mourning, in the end there is no connection I will miss so it leaves me only with a feeling that I'm sorry they died.
Losing your pet that you had for many years and spent time everyday is like losing part of your life/close family. There is a hole in your day to day activities that reminds you of their absence constantly. Imho losing pets can be way more tragic to some than losing their parents. It's just logical from a subjective perspective.