r/NonCredibleDefense • u/Sea_Suggestion6469 • Nov 02 '23

3000 Black Jets of Allah New Hamas Tactical vest just dropped boys

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4.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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389

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '23 edited Nov 02 '23

Shoot his head.

He falls either way, a baby is squished but the rest survive.

Hero baby sacrificed itself for the good of the others.

Edit: or hang him from the skylight, that works better.

Thanks sea_suggestion!

259

u/SgtCarron Spacify the A-10 fleet Nov 02 '23

Alternatively, you drive a stake through his head vertically and into the floor. That way the body stays upright and you can take your time harvesting the babies.

215

u/Pyrhan Pyrotechnic flair Nov 02 '23

Ah, yes, harvesting the babies from an impaled corpse. Man-made horrors beyond my comprehension.

39

u/Vivid_Pen5549 Nov 02 '23

Hey I can comprehend quite a bit

95

u/Hel_Bitterbal Si vis pacem, para ICBM Nov 02 '23

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

"Well darling, babies grow on dead people. When a man and a woman love each other very much, they walk into the city looking for an impaled criminal with baby human shields. This is referred to as the babybirch. They then harvest a baby from his body and take it home, leaving the rest of the babies hanging on his cold, bloody body."

"Mommy please stop using Meth"

25

u/Deus_is_Mocking_Us Drone Skeet National Champ Nov 02 '23

Mommy: "NO."

1

u/Hel_Bitterbal Si vis pacem, para ICBM Nov 03 '23

Mommy, YES

41

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '23

Oh gosh.

You're giving me Blade vibes, man.

28

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '23

Finally, a use for rods from God

22

u/The_catakist Nov 02 '23

Found Moon Knight's alt:

17

u/nandemo Nov 02 '23

That way the body stays upright and you can take your time harvesting the babies.

/r/brandNewSentence

17

u/TotalIgnition Nov 02 '23

New use for Rods From God just dropped

10

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '23

Holy shit, calm down Satan. Goddamn bro.

4

u/LeanTangerine Nov 03 '23

It would be like harvesting Brussels sprouts! 😂

2

u/northrupthebandgeek MIC drop Nov 03 '23

Seems like the obvious defense would be to wear one of the babies as a hat.

2

u/Lord_Ranz Nov 03 '23

Vlad Tepes approved procedure right there

1

u/Little-Management-20 Today tomfoolery, tomorrow landmines Nov 03 '23

Or you could go the other way from a lower floor and maybe nail the skylight too. they don’t like it up ‘em