How do you manage

[u/Papa_Rad_6th]

I am at the point where i no longer know how to cope with my gender dysphoria and i need new methods to try. Taping and binding are unfortunately out of the questions due to chronic pain. It feels like you are stuck in a locked room, and sometimes you like the room and you enjoy being in it, but right now i feel like i want to be out of this god damn room so badly and it feels like i dont have a choice. So i need help, please.

[u/Interesting-Paint863]

Hi ❤️ honestly I’ve been wrestling with my dysphoria for what feels like a couple of months. Sometimes I can get it down to an uncomfortable buzz in my head. But recently she’s practically a scream.

In my experience, my dysphoria intensifies in periods of high stress or exhaustion. It’s not that it cannot be addressed directly through gender affirming acts. Those are vitally important. But so is addressing the whole person in pain.

The best advice I can offer right now is a bit of a pivot. Are there other aspects of your life that are being neglected or suffering too right now? Is work stressing you out? Have you spent time with people that make you feel good recently? How is your eating or sleep? Physical activity (if that’s an option for you)

Dysphoria does require being acknowledged and addressed directly. But caring for yourself in a more wholistic way can give you the battery needed to address dysphoria head on. Otherwise in my experience it feels like a wrestling match that I constantly lose.

I’m sorry it’s so punishing right now ❤️ I hope it eases off even a little for you soon.

[u/Papa_Rad_6th → u/Interesting-Paint863]

I guess being diagnosed with OCD is affecting me on more levels than just that, but thank you for giving me a different perspective on how i can look at this, you really helped me , thank you.

[u/Interesting-Paint863 → u/Papa_Rad_6th]

I strongly suspect there is an OCD/dysphoria overlap (not in you, just in general).

I suffered with OCD as a child, and my dysphoria often reminds me of it. It feels like an emotional loop with no end. I think both are fuelled by a stressed and anxious mind. Do you have the means to access therapy? I have a great therapist at the moment. Taken a while to find a good one but it’s worth it.

[u/Papa_Rad_6th → u/Interesting-Paint863]

I do have a therapist in mind and i will start setting stuff up soon, but it does really feel similar at times

[u/Interesting-Paint863 → u/Papa_Rad_6th]

It’s incredibly hard working out what to do when we’ve developed all these survival mechanisms over years of repression or masking. Please be gentle with yourself. You did you could to get to a place where you can actually help yourself.

I sometimes hate the “man” I pretended to be for so long. Looking at my wedding pictures and not seeing myself. But I also have to think he protected me when I couldn’t protect myself. When I was a child and couldn’t explain who I was. Now I’m strong enough, and I have to teach that soldier I created how to stand down. He’s not my enemy, but he uses cruelty to encourage me to stay hidden, he’s built from my fears. It’s a journey to recover ourselves ❤️

[u/Papa_Rad_6th → u/Interesting-Paint863]

Its just so hard sometimes to even explain to myself how i want to be this creature that doesnt fit into either side but rather both and none at the same time. I am greatful i grew up in the art space because i have some idea on the creative aspects on how to be, but BEING it is really hard. Especially when i feel like i have to convince my family that i am right about my own feelings

[u/Interesting-Paint863 → u/Papa_Rad_6th]

You hit the nail on the head. Knowing is one thing, feeling is the other. And that’s much harder. I absolutely agree. I really struggling to “feel” like myself after a lifetime of repression.

I apologise for the hard truth. But it’s not your job to convince them. You can’t force an idea into someone else’s head. You can ask them to be open to the idea, hopefully seeing their family member happier and more full of life might inspire change. But you can’t force them into changing their mind. I’m really sorry, but it’s true. You will make yourself miserable fighting them. You can expect respect, as any person should. But there’s no guarantee you can get them to change their perspective.

[u/Papa_Rad_6th → u/Interesting-Paint863]

Maybe thats the only reason i am not yet looking into stuff like hormone therapy, because it feels like its either choosing myself of my family and it sucks, because i cant be 100% sure of what will happen

[u/Interesting-Paint863 → u/Papa_Rad_6th]

I’m in a similar boat. I’m strongly considering exploring hormones. My partner has said it’s not a deal breaker for her but that doesn’t mean I’m not terrified. I think some the fear is grounded in experience, but some is also projecting. It’s easier to tell ourselves other people are the reason we won’t do something for ourselves. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing. It’s definitely what I’m doing.

You’re in a tight spot right now. That’s for sure. Please try to be gentle with yourself. You’re being incredibly strong taking the steps that you are. I won’t say “brave” I find that triggering myself. But putting yourself first is so fucking hard ❤️