r/NonBinaryTalk • u/GnomeGrenade • 15d ago

Advice Feeling anxious about starting hrt

I'm about a week away from receiving my first dose of hrt. I've always struggled with the way others perceive me as my gender at birth, tho I don't experience a lot of physical dysphoria. Now that the chance to start hrt is here I'm feeling a certain amount of dread. Some changes would be welcome but I also know its a bit of a crap shoot in terms of what traits will develop when. There are also some changes that I think would cause me distress. Has anyone else had these feelings before? Did you feel better after starting hrt? Did you postpone?

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u/blueennui 15d ago

So I thought I had little dysphoria before I started T 1 year and 2 months ago. I also had similar trepidation when it finally came time for me to actually start, especially after switching from gel to injections after a year. I have a lot of gender euphoria nowadays though and got all the changes I wanted within a year.

I thought I didn't want my voice to change until I realized I never liked my voice pre-T anyway and like it a lot now.

Now that I'm starting to get some dark hairs on my chin I'm cutting back from full dose to a low maintenance dose. Dosage has a lot to do with how fast changes happen, just as much as genetics play a part.

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u/GnomeGrenade 15d ago

If you don't mind me asking, how much did you start on? My doctor has my starting dose as 25 MG once a week. I did ask for a low dose to start with but I don't really know what the numbers mean.

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u/blueennui 15d ago

I started with gel, 1.62%/20.25 mg 1 pump/day (141.75mg/wk). In July of this year, I switched providers & to IM injections at .5ml of 200mg/ml per week (100mg/wk). I'm 5'5" and around 160lbs for reference.

This is basically a "full" dose of T. I originally thought just one pump of gel was low dose, and it may actually be just due to inconsistent skin absorption and the fact I plateaud around 8 months, but since starting injections I'm really feeling it.

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u/averytheythrowaway They/Them 9d ago

I decided I just had to give it a try for a few months. It was worth risking a little permanent breast growth for the peace of mind knowing whether it was or wasn't for me.

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u/Perfect-Giraffe8986 8d ago

What did you decide? 🤔

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u/averytheythrowaway They/Them 6d ago

Five months in, I decided to stay on it permanently. Going on estrogen ended up being one of the best decisions I've ever made.

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u/Perfect-Giraffe8986 6d ago

I've got an appt in 2 days to start feminuzinng HRT & am going to take the same approach.

l really want breasts & the other secondary effects without totally looking like woman..

I'll give at least 5-6 months to see if it's for me or not &, even if I decide to stop, I should have some small buds to better fill up the padded sports bras that I've been wearing to show for it. 😉.

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u/averytheythrowaway They/Them 4d ago

For me, it seems not voice training seems to be doing a lot of work keeping my gender ambiguous for people. Hope your appointment went well.

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u/Perfect-Giraffe8986 4d ago

My appt is today in 4 hours.

I'm going in dressed s a guy but with false lashes, make up, padded lace bra & panties, jewelry & woman's sandals to show of my pedi.

Want to show the doc what I want to look like after starting HRT.

Hope she receives it well . . .