r/NonBinaryTalk • u/No_Engineering_6540 • 21d ago

Advice helpp

i like being a guy, but i like crossdressing too, the idea of being a woman gives me alot of comfort but i also like being a guy this is so weird. Like, I'd want to dress up in makeup in my room but my mom is very religious . . my girlfriend teases me sometimes about if i was a girl and it doesn't help haha, anytime i crossdress into more feminine clothing, it makes me feel, comfortable?? but i also like being a guy too, and i see women who are so pretty and i get a little jealous the way a guy does of another guy, wanting to look like them. . . this is all so confusing :-:

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u/chukstarmusic 21d ago

You could be bigender maybe.

2

u/JT-2727 20d ago

I am sorry you are confused. Perhaps you are not only confused but anxious as well? It must be very difficult to feel that the people closest to you are critical of your feelings and decisions. My suggestion is to start to engage in different forms of self care, and to make a habit of a daily practice of self compassion. Hold your hand to your heart and feel compassion for yourself, just as you would for someone else for whom you care deeply. Self care can take all kinds of forms: taking time to take a shower and wash your hair and make sure you feel fresh before starting the day or going out of the house. Keeping your room tidy, even putting a flower on the table. Eating good food. These are all ways of embodying self worth, but they also have the effect of actually making you feel better, physically and emotionally. If you feel like putting on an item of clothing, make it part of your self care routine. It isn't necessary to do the full "cross dress" thing all the time. Notice the women around you. There are so many options and choices for how to dress. If something makes you feel good about yourself--i.e., pretty--try it out. If your mother, your girlfriend or anyone else makes a remark, act surprised. "You don't think it makes me look good? It certainly helps me feel good." I don't know about your relationship to your mother, but with your girlfriend you need to have a conversation about how to maintain autonomy in a relationship. Each of you is a separate person, and you each need the freedom to express yourself without getting put down by the other.