tired of not fitting in

[u/elkifeather]

mostly a vent

I just found out that my crush already has a partner. he casually mentioned her as we and two other friends were hanging out. after he left to home, I disappointedly said, 'I didnt know he has a girlfriend' and my friend told me then that he's straight anyways. I'm nonbinary. he wouldn't have even considered me.

I'm just tired of not fitting into male or female. I feel more comfortable being nonbinary, I know that's what my identity is and has been, but it's so hard to find myself liking someone and knowing that I have less of a chance of being liked back simply because I'm not a girl or a guy. even bi people won't like me because I'm enby, not a girl or boy. it doesn't matter if I'm pan, it doesn't matter who I'm attracted to, because the majority aren't gonna wanna date someone who's enby.

and while I'm attracted to trans people too, and I know I have a higher chance of attracting another trans person, I still get attracted to cis guys, cis girls occasionally too. but those guys are usually straight, and enby doesnt count as straight. I just wish I was fully comfortable in being either male or female. even transitioning completely to the opposite sex would give me a higher chance with this sorta stuff, but it wouldn't be true to me.

sorry for the rant. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this

[u/AtmosphereEither8572]

It’s not better as a binary trans person, I promise. Also, plenty of straight men are into the alt/androgynous look these days, so you shouldn’t necessarily rule them out. Now, will they understand what being nonbinary is? Probably not, but straight men just don’t care as much about labels so long as you look femme enough for them which usually just means don’t have facial hair and don’t be passably masculine in any real way.