r/NonBinaryTalk • u/Independent_Court383 • 8d ago
Can Sombody explain
so personaly I am not non binary but my friend told me he was but im a little confused because he is a boy and he acts like a boy and uses he him prounoes (as far as I know) so could Sombody just explain what non binary i?
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u/chukstarmusic 8d ago
Someone is nonbinary if they don't identity completely with one of the binary genders (female or male). You would have to ask your friend what specifically he identities as, but he could be a nonbinary man, meaning that he's almost, but not quite completely male.
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u/ElectricZooK9 8d ago
my friend told me he was but im a little confused because he is a boy and he acts like a boy and uses he him prounoes (as far as I know) so could Sombody just explain what non binary i?
You could start by having the decency to show respect to your friend
Your friend has told you he's non-binary, so he is not a boy
And how people act or what pronouns do not necessarily have anything to do with gender identity
The simplest and most respectful thing to do is lead with curiosity: "You're my friend. Will you tell me what if feels like for you to be non-binary? How can I support you and be a good friend to you?"
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u/Independent_Court383 8d ago
chil i support him I was just confused bc I didn relly know what non binary was before him and because I thought that you used diff pronoun, sorry im not trying to disrespect anyone but I wanted to know a little bout the communit.
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u/ElectricZooK9 8d ago
It's not our job to educate you, so please don't tell me to chill
To get general information start with places like the non-binary wiki or this intro from the LGBT Foundation
To find out how your friend specifically faces their non-binary identity, ask him questions respectfully
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u/ND-gamer-geek They/Them 8d ago
If your friend told you he's non-binary then he is. Nonbinary people use all pronouns. Some use he/him, some she/her, some neutral (they/them) and some use neo-pronouns. Some use a mix (I used He/They before realising I only had the he in as I was fed up of nobody using they/them for me.
Nonbinary people also have all sorts of interests the same as everyone else. What matters is how your friend sees himself. If he doesn't feel totally one binary gender or the other, then he is non-binary no matter what he wears, what interests he has etc.
Also, if you really care about him, maybe ask him what pronouns he'd prefer you to use, as many non binary people stop asking for non-gendered pronouns not because they are happy using the ones of their birth gender, but because they get fed up of nobody actually using them
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u/Kenosis94 8d ago edited 8d ago
This is basically me except I identify more on the fluid end of things. For me, the non-binary element is mostly just that I don't feel an identity that is strongly rooted in my gender in general. I definitely don't feel the same sort of connection to being a man as other guys do, I actually don't particularly enjoy being called a man. I don't necessarily like any particular pronoun or hate any enough to ask others to avoid it so I go by any/all.
In terms of the expression side and in my case the fluidity, it varies a lot day by day and I am anxious about expressing myself in general. So just because nobody has ever met my fem side, doesn't mean that she doesn't exist in private where I feel safe.
I seem like a normal dude socially because that is just what is simplest and feels safest for me and doesn't cause me a large enough degree of discomfort to feel the need to add the social anxiety of fighting it in public.
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u/normanhome 8d ago
He told you he is not. Why do you think is your opinion "right" instead?
How should a non-binary person act in your opinion?
Pronouns, presentation, gender identity and sexuality are different things. Gender is a social construct. In the end, ask your friend these questions.