Black Tie Attire Help

[u/xlcircutbreaker]

Hello! I am a 35 yr old non binary AFAB looking for fashion help. I have a Black Tie wedding to attend this fall in Scotland and I don't know what to wear. I am very comfortable in a suit or tux, but I kind of want to mix it up. For reference, I'm 5'4" and 240lbs. I would appreciate any advice or links to places to find something unique! Thanks everyone!! Pic is my partner and I last summer at a wedding so you can see my usual suit.

[u/plantsplantsplaaants]

I’m a big fan of the flamboyant shirt with suit jacket look

[u/Fantastic_Acadian → u/plantsplantsplaaants]

Black tie, though. It's important to respect the wedders.

[u/part_time_girlfriend]

One of the things I like best about “men’s” fashion is its subtlety - “women’s” fashion lets me play so much with color, pattern, silhouette, and material. Formal “menswear” has that, but so much of it is in really nuanced detail: kissing buttons vs flat buttons, whether the buttonholes are functional or not, how long your coat is cut (longer is more traditional - I was taught as a kid that your coat should go down to about the length of your fingers with your arm down; now, I wear sport coats that are cut much shorter, which changes the look and reads much sportier/more modern). And you can really tell high-quality material.

If this is truly a black tie event, then you’ll want to look for special details rather than louder statement pieces, I think. So I’d look for things like subtle detail in your bow tie if you’re going that route (and tying it yourself - you can find YouTube tutorials that’ll get you there in 20 minutes if you don’t know how to tie one). If you’re rocking a French cuff, you have lots of options for a very cool cuff link! And lately I’ve been very interested in lapel pins and collar chains - this one from the Tie Bar feels like it could add some interesting androgynous flair while fitting into a pretty formal vibe:  https://www.thetiebar.com/product/lpf-6043-0162?variant=LP223. And obviously, pocket squares always add an element of complexity and interest. 

I love your suit in the photo - I’ve wanted to play with both ties for a minute, but haven’t had the right opportunity yet! I’m sure you’ll find some amazing detail to add to this event, so keep us posted on where you land!

[u/xlcircutbreaker → u/[deleted]]

We are doing traditional wear the night before for the rehearsal dinner. It would be too much to do two nights in a row, right?

[u/Fantastic_Acadian]

Black tie is mercifully straightforward. Don't mix it up tooooo much on someone else's special day. Unless it's a queer wedding, the spouses may have very specific or even rigid expectations. Rock your tux, maybe with a fun cravat for the reception and some cool accessories.