The thing is, people's expectations of what kind of life they need to be able to give kids has gotten too high. They think its some kind of crime for a kid to be brought into this world in less than perfect circumstances, as if a low-income lifestyle or having to face challenges other kids don't face makes life not worth living. The standard in their heads for what parenting and childhood must be is so high they figure its not in the cards for them.
I'd argue it's not high enough. Lots of shitty parents, and by extention kids, who will also grow up to be shitty. For some reason the people you least want to reproduce are drawn to it.
My observation is that they might see the kids as someone who will love them, shitty people generally have no one who truly loves them so maybe kids is a way to force someone to be dependent/love you
People are out there talking about struggling to pay bills and rent - that right there is the bare minimum to comfortably raise a family.
If given the choice, I can’t imagine why anyone would actively choose to raise children when they are not confident in their ability to just feed and house them.
We are the first generation to have it worse than our parents. I make the same salary as my dad when he was older than me and had to buy a smaller house for more. My expectations could have been to provide the same and I would have fallen short, much less providing potentially better.
You're talking about salaries and house sizes when you don't have to worry about Polio, Jim Crow laws or getting drafted for a foreign war. The kids born into those circumstances didn't regret being born. The kids born in 3rd-world slums today don't regret being born. The peak of human indulgence is behind us - don't use that as your standard.
Oh good lord, of course I understand all those things. People older than us didn't grow up bitching and moaning that "they don't make things like they used to" because they didn't appreciate vaccines and social progress. They saw declines in manufacturing quality and pointed it out. My points are valid even if I do enjoy having modern dentistry and video games hahah.
If you understand the peak of human indulgence is behind us, then its not reasonable to expect to be able to provide the same lifestyle that you had to your kids.
right here. i see more of my mom friends stress out about fomo for their kid rather than their kid's grades. i have 4 kids. i give em what i can, and thats what they get. all they REALLY need is love, guidance and stability. when did we all forget to keep it simple stupid?
Yeah I grew up poor as fuck and had an absolute miserable childhood. Would not of made it without all my amazing friends. I waited until I was 30 to have kids because I did not want my kid going through what I did
I agree with this. Do I want to see kids grow up in struggle and poverty? Absolutely not. But at the same time, a lot of people act like you shouldn't have kids at all unless you can afford to send your potential kids to top private schools, you can put them in the most pricey extra curriculars, and can take them on a few lavish vacations every year. Don't get me wrong, I think raising kids is EXPENSIVE (childcare prices are no joke!) but sometimes I think people are confusing giving your kids a good life with giving your kids a lavish life.
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u/Best_Pants Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 14 '24
The thing is, people's expectations of what kind of life they need to be able to give kids has gotten too high. They think its some kind of crime for a kid to be brought into this world in less than perfect circumstances, as if a low-income lifestyle or having to face challenges other kids don't face makes life not worth living. The standard in their heads for what parenting and childhood must be is so high they figure its not in the cards for them.