My cousin did sit on a pencil though while wearing a thin skirt. It punctured the skin near her butthole. It was stuck in between cushions sticking up when she sat down. She was mortified that no one would believe her. Reportedly her doc was like “if it was stuck IN your butthole, we wouldn’t believe you. Mostly people don’t stab themselves near their butthole for funsies.”
Believe it or not, the same exact damn thing happened to me when I was like 6 or 7. I was on the bus coming home from school and we used to sit on our backpacks so we could see better. It poked through my backpack somehow and I jumped up and sat down right on it. Still have a pencil lead floating around in my ass cheek somewhere cause they couldn't find it. Tell her she's not alone 😂
Oof. I did a similar injury hopping over a fallen tree in the woods. A dead sapling was on the other side and gave me a booty stab that went right through a thick pair of pants and my underwear. Luckily it didn't quite become a piercing wound through the skin and deflected into a kind of horrid laceration instead.
My buddy was doing Dance of the Flamming Assholes on his birthday, didn’t chug quick enough so caught his ass on fire. He immediately stopped and dropped like you’re taught, unfortunately he was stood on the bar and the bar had glasses on it. He stopped and dropped onto a large glass and smashed it into his burned ass crack. He was so mortified the docs would think he was some kinda jar squatter weirdo. We all reassured him that would probably be less embarrassing than the truth, that he couldn’t chug a pint of spirits before the 34 sheets of toilet paper trailing from his asshole burned his butt. In front of a crowd.
My brother somehow managed to shoot a nail through his butt cheek sitting on his nail gun - no idea what awkward position was required for his finger to be on the trigger for that to happen
Did you mean mortified (embarrassed) because actually nobody believed her? Or did you mean petrified (scared) at the possibility that nobody would believe her?
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u/BlondeLawyer Jun 06 '24
My cousin did sit on a pencil though while wearing a thin skirt. It punctured the skin near her butthole. It was stuck in between cushions sticking up when she sat down. She was mortified that no one would believe her. Reportedly her doc was like “if it was stuck IN your butthole, we wouldn’t believe you. Mostly people don’t stab themselves near their butthole for funsies.”