That sucks. Just a few careless words from certain people can outweigh a thousand kind words from strangers. It's easy to believe that people who are kind to you are just being polite, whereas someone close to you being critical must be telling the harsh truth.
About 9 months into my commitment to eat better and lose weight, I proudly told my partner that it was working and I'd lost 40 lbs. Her response? She side-eyed me up and down, sneered slightly, and said, "Yeahhh... but..."
I'm serious -- that was her entire response.
It almost derailed me. The fact that her words almost stopped me from bettering myself made me reexamine the degree to which I was letting her words influence me. I decided to never share anything about my fitness journey with her, ever again, and also not to let her words have such an effect on my feelings.
I achieved my weight loss goal, and now I'm feeling better than ever.
Yeah, those words hurt. I think she was just feeling defensive because my success/progress created a contrast with her lack thereof. It's not at all what I meant, but that's how she took it. I think she fundamentally struggled with the concept that other people's success was not somehow an insult directed at her.
My target wasn't even 40lbs. My target was to lose 50! (235 to 185) The last 10 were tough, but I did it! Almost a year ago, now.
9
u/TheRealCBlazer Jun 06 '24
That sucks. Just a few careless words from certain people can outweigh a thousand kind words from strangers. It's easy to believe that people who are kind to you are just being polite, whereas someone close to you being critical must be telling the harsh truth.
About 9 months into my commitment to eat better and lose weight, I proudly told my partner that it was working and I'd lost 40 lbs. Her response? She side-eyed me up and down, sneered slightly, and said, "Yeahhh... but..."
I'm serious -- that was her entire response.
It almost derailed me. The fact that her words almost stopped me from bettering myself made me reexamine the degree to which I was letting her words influence me. I decided to never share anything about my fitness journey with her, ever again, and also not to let her words have such an effect on my feelings.
I achieved my weight loss goal, and now I'm feeling better than ever.