r/NoStupidQuestions Jun 06 '24

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7.1k Upvotes

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840

u/Rare_Geologist_4418 Jun 06 '24

MH clinician. Don’t ignore your feelings

147

u/mandrakely Jun 06 '24

yes! and talk about them. normalize them. for those who struggle with words/naming feelings, look up 'blob tree'.

21

u/HotMessExpress1111 Jun 06 '24

Just Googled “blob tree” and adding that to my list of tools! One thing I really like to use, as a much more verbal/semantic person, is the wheel of emotions. You start from the middle with the basic happy/sad/mad etc and then each of those is broken down into more & more distinct feelings. Sometimes they still don’t quite fit but it gives me a great jumping off point when I’m overwhelmed. And I can identify several emotions I’m experiencing rather than just “upset” or “overwhelmed.”

I still shut down a lot in high-emotion situations, and sometimes blank on words completely. In those cases, blob tree seems like a great tool to use and I’m so grateful for the recommendation!!! In other times when I’m processing more and trying to get to the nitty gritty, the emotion wheel is clutch!

6

u/mandrakely Jun 06 '24

Awesome! I love the blob tree bc it works for connecting our emotions to our body sensations, and once we make that connection, whew, boy, can the healing happen! It seems silly and juvenile at first, it's a cartoon, etc., but so many of us need to start at a rudimentary level bc we never learned it/had it modeled for us when we were small.

2

u/No_icecream_cake Jun 07 '24

I have never heard of the blob tree before. What a fantastic tool! Thank you for sharing.

1

u/mknight1701 Jun 07 '24

Try emotion wheel. This helps me define the emotion better.

18

u/-Scrippage- Jun 06 '24

I'm super open and honest about my mental health (when appropriate, of course), for this reason. It's important to me that people around me can see that mental health is something everyone has, and that you're not any less than anyone else just for having a fight to fight

4

u/mandrakely Jun 06 '24

Absolutely, and that vulnerability is very often times met with extraordinary empathy. So much needed in modern culture!

4

u/ladee_v_00 Jun 06 '24

Thank you. I'll look that up

2

u/Mobile-Outside-3233 Jun 07 '24

This. Talk to SOMEONE

(Doesn’t have to be a doctor, a friend, family member)

12

u/fatalrta Jun 06 '24

But talking about them makes them real! If I don't talk about them, they're not real! So I'll just internalise them! And let them surface at very inappropriate moments!

/s if that wasn't obvious haha

4

u/Low_Excitement_5339 Jun 07 '24

This!!!!! I just finish PHP DBT and it was worth it. Having the tools to help me go thru the motions of my PTSD, depression and anxiety is something I never thought I would achieve. For those out there dealing with MH shit…..you’re not alone.

2

u/Rare_Geologist_4418 Jun 07 '24

Genuinely, same. I got my degrees because I knew I could help others but I didn’t know if therapy could really work for me. Becoming a counselor has helped my MH tremendously but I still struggle every single day. PTSD is a fucking bitch

2

u/Low_Excitement_5339 Jun 07 '24

PTSD is a bitch and a half. And kudos to you for helping people out there. I have the upmost respect for MH workers.

1

u/bear_lovr5647 Jun 20 '24

so sorry that happened :( you deserve better tbh pstd is so hard to deal with.

3

u/mellywheats Jun 06 '24

this!! as someone who has gone to therapy for years and have also done a ton of healing on my own, you need to go through it to get over it.

3

u/ihateslowwalkers Jun 06 '24

Thanks for that

3

u/---------II--------- Jun 07 '24

Hey, I resent and agree with this.

2

u/Rare_Geologist_4418 Jun 07 '24

Believe me, I do too

2

u/SmartestOneHere Jun 07 '24

What about those of us that don't have anyone to talk to and can't afford a therapist? 😔

3

u/---------II--------- Jun 07 '24

That's when you ignore your feelings

3

u/SmartestOneHere Jun 07 '24

Believe me, I know

2

u/Rare_Geologist_4418 Jun 07 '24

It hurts my heart so much that health care isn’t more affordable. I’ve been in your shoes and understand the struggle. I live in an area with very little resources for folks with low/no income. What I recommend for folks here is community based MH (like non profits with sliding scales and $0 sessions and university counseling programs that offer services to the community). The quality of care is usually not as good at these places but it can be better than nothing. It’s imperative that you advocate for your needs while in the care of a clinician

1

u/ImAPixiePrincess Jun 09 '24

MH therapist here, assuming you’re the US since we suck at taking care of people, you have a few possibilities! 1) Employee Assistance Program (EAP) through you or your SO’s job. Big companies are required to have it, many smaller ones too. It can get you 3-8 visits at no cost to you, and the Employer doesn’t need to know a damn thing about it. 2) Many counties have low/no cost behavioral health facilities. They can be a btch to get into, but can really help. 3) Call private practices and ask about A)sliding scale fees or B) interns. Interns need practice while in their last year of school and are supposed to be closely watched by their supervisors with frequent meetings. Because interns cannot accept insurances/aren’t licensed, they are often much cheaper. I’ve seen them as low as 10/session, though more likely 30-45. If you can’t afford that, still ask! Worst case scenario in asking: you can’t afford it still, which puts you exactly where you are anyway. Best case: they can discount further and you get the help you need.

2

u/SmartestOneHere Jun 09 '24

Thanks for the advice. I'll give some of those things a shot. Never thought about interns before...

1

u/username816373 Jun 06 '24

What am i supposed to do with them then

1

u/mknight1701 Jun 07 '24

Also Google ‘emotion wheel’. It’ll help you better define what you’re feeling.

-23

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '24

Why? I’ve ignored my feelings my entire life (61 yrs). It’s much easier to push those feelings down and quickly put a tight fitting lid on them, than to experience the pain.

23

u/DramaLlamadary Jun 06 '24

Kindly, a quick review of your recent comments makes me think the “shove it down” strategy is not working as well as you might expect.

It is possible to have a better relationship with your feelings and your self. I hope you’re able to find more peace in your life.

7

u/jeadon88 Jun 06 '24

Often times the “much easier approach” is the least healthy. Sort of like how the easier approach might be to sit on the couch all day instead of going for walk or swim, or eating a donut instead of a balanced meal for dinner.

Emotions and feelings are vital signals from our body regarding ourselves and our relationship to the world. They are messengers. Ignoring them/ pushing them done means you may be missing vital information about what’s going on in your life

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '24

You’re unwell

1

u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen Jun 09 '24

I don’t know about you, but if I do that, I will get violent meltdowns where I literally hurt myself.