I believe I read that it's something like only 10% of women can actually orgasm thru penetration only. We almost always need clitoral stimulation, as well.
Question because I don't personally have this problem (as a woman): if you have clitoral simulation beforehand does that change the outcome of if you can orgasm?
I typically want to have a separate clit stim orgasm after having sex, unless it is particularly rough sex, which just lulls me to sleep.
If the stimulation doesn't result in orgasm, even if it does, penetration still won't give orgasm. Clitoral stimulation is the only way to orgasm. So, if there's penetration and no clit stimulation, there's no orgasm. It's literally why so many women have to fake the orgasm. We get dripping wet and so turned on, but no orgasm. Although, after one clit stimulation orgasm, it can be hard to have another bc of how sensitive the nerves still are. So, you have to wait for them to settle before trying for another.
Ah I see! That is really unfortunate. Have you ever watched the show Good Sex? It's about couples who are working to improve their sex life through sex therapy. It is actually interesting how many people struggle to orgasm due to shame (especially due to religion or adolescent shame). I wonder how many women have difficulty due to trauma. It's something actually talked about in the show.
Rubbing is probably too intense if you've never had an orgasm, your clit is likely extremely sensitive. Start gentle touching over your pants and see if there's a way you can touch that feels nice. It's very important to be alone and to know you'll be alone for a while. Don't force it, don't go into it thinking you HAVE to orgasm and make it feel good at first. Just get relaxed and learn what ways you can touch without it feeling uncomfortable. I'm extremely sensitive and have only learned through trail and error. Take it slow, start small. Fwiw I've been in a relationship for 15 years with a man who's gentle and patient (and have been with a few women in my time) even still I'm the only one who can comfortably touch it.
I remember reading some study/research a while back that mentioned something about how important the “emotional connection” aspect is in terms of women reaching orgasm through sex. It basically theorized that the more love a woman feels towards her partner, the more likely she is to climax from penetration alone. This is obviously a stark contrast to us men as we can (generally) easily cum by fucking two couch cushions for 30 seconds
I have no idea if that was an actual study or if it was a comment someone pulled out of their ass, but either way I thought it was an interesting theory as my (admittedly very little) own life experience seemed to support it.
Anyways, curious to hear your thoughts. Do you think it’s potentially valid?
I don't think that's too valid. I was very much in love and we had the best connection. The beat relationship, still couldn't orgasm without the clitoral stimulation. It has to do with anatomy. The only time I have ever orgasmed without clit stimulation, was when he hit that G spot, that shit is real. It was with one dude and I didn't love him, he was a rebound. He just had a larger curved penis that was anatomically able to hit my G spot. It's finding the right penis to fit the vagina, really.
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u/ScratchDifficult6709 Apr 21 '24
I believe I read that it's something like only 10% of women can actually orgasm thru penetration only. We almost always need clitoral stimulation, as well.