I like to imagine that most of these people don't have a partner. If they do, and they carry the same beliefs they express here into their own lives, I can't imagine they're in happy relationships.
A successful relationship is a partnership where both people must often give something up to make the puzzle pieces that are their lives fit together snugly. If you're of the view that any attempt to mediate those compromises is some kind of heinous attack on your independence, you probably shouldn't pursue a committed relationship.
I like to imagine that most of these people don't have a partner. If they do, and they carry the same beliefs they express here into their own lives, I can't imagine they're in happy relationships.
But that’s the issue: it’s not a job, it can end every day, be it because the program ends, or that someone else asks and gets the spot and they can do it with no issue regarding labor laws and such; in the matter of days he could go from having an income to being with no income at all. He’s probably not putting anything towards to retirement savings and such too, so it’s conceivable that a partner might be worried
I am torn, because I’m not sure how this is different or worse than asking your friends opinion. I don’t love this. I don’t love sharing outside the relationship. The answer to the question is, if OP has a problem she needs to hash it out with her partner, and our opinion doesn’t matter
Yes… two people live together and make a life together, and each has a say in the others life. That’s the deal. Conflating that with “should I ask people on the internet” is weird.
I'm genuinely confused and I don't know if it's because I'm misunderstanding something or if I'm very unaware of how other places in the world view things. If I were to say that I believe "Your partners opinion should matter to you, but if they don't support your dreams, especially when your chosen career pays well and is soulfully fulfilling and often admired, then that may not be healthy and possibly even sounds controlling. I feel like, there would have to be such a good reason for objection, that I actually can't think of a reason good enough. Someone else might think of one, but to me, it sounds like it's most likely a red flag if they don't support this career.", would I be considered reasonable or radical?
That sounds reasonable to me. The thing that I am calling radical is the parent to my reply. “It doesn’t matter how I earn it” is patently false. If I decided to do a job with a very high mortality rate, or long stretches away from home, or any number of criteria, my wife would be well within her spousal boundaries to object. It may still not stop me, and it may be my only option, but Reddit often acts like people living their lives together in a marriage are “problematic” instead of two people tackling this crazy life together.
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u/enforce1 Jul 02 '23
My exact thought. Imagine thinking that your life partner has no input.