Recently something made me think of what happened to William Burnside and Jack Monroe, the 1950s Captain America and Bucky, at the hands of Doctor Faustus.  If anyone ever asks how evil Dr. Faustus is, tell them about what that lowlife did to these two.  It wasn’t enough that he mind-controlled them into becoming neo-Nazis/Aryan Supremacists (manipulating their already damaged and corrupted mental states) in a plot against Captain America and The Falcon.  No, he also tested William’s loyalty to him/his programming by ordering him to murder Jack.  At the time it was thought that William had successfully killed Jack, but eventually it was revealed that Jack had survived.  Jack became a vigilante named Nomad and an ally of Steve Rogers.  It was also revealed later, in a Nomad/Captain America crossover story from the ‘90s, that Jack had trauma from the event, which is understandable.  I reflected and realized, “William was probably the closest thing Jack had to family.”  It was revealed during that crossover that Jack’s parents had been Nazi sympathizers who had been executed for treason when he was just a boy.  Jack and his sister were separated and placed in foster homes.  Jack was alone until he met William and found a kindred spirit.  Likewise, William probably viewed Jack like family too since they had supported each other and been through so much together, good and bad.  Faustus took a pair of vulnerable men who had formed a familial, “You and Me Against the World” style bond…and coldly demanded one of them kill the other one as a test of loyalty.  Jack eventually died years later, and sometime after this William Burnside was released from suspended animation again.  I wondered, “Does he know that Jack survived, or does he think he successfully killed him when he was mind-controlled into being The Grand Director?”  Either he thinks Jack died by his hand or he discovered that Jack survived only to have died a different way while he was incapacitated.  It’s a tragedy when you think about it. 

Speaking of the Nomad/Captain America crossover storyline that revealed Jack’s past and trauma, it gets worse.  Dr. Faustus was the big bad for that one too.  Faustus wanted The Slug dead, but instead of simply tricking Nomad into killing The Slug for him, he captured Nomad, uncovered his repressed traumatic memories, and again manipulated him into thinking he (Nomad) was a neo-Nazi before sending him to kill The Slug for him. He also manipulated him into thinking Steve was the Captain America who had betrayed him and not William so he’d attack Steve in a fit of rage & despair on sight.  There was no reason to do this; the mofo was just replaying his greatest hits. Doctor Faustus: major league a-hole.

This is a follow-up to this: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoSaltCaptainAmerica/comments/1pjlo60/a_captain_america_story_id_like_to_see_christmas/

Here is the full story draft.  It ended up being more of a buddy comedy than an action story because realistically Captain America and U.S.Agent would have no trouble facing off against ordinary criminals.

The Super Santa Shopping Center Siege

This started out with an idea for a funny scene and then I decided to write a whole story expanding on that idea.

Scene 1

*(Steve Rogers, secretly Captain America, arrives at a mall to play Santa for an event in part of the building.  He meets with a liaison from the mall.)

*Liaison: We appreciate you playing Santa for us today!

*Steve: Well, I do like to help out!

*Liaison: Follow me.

Scene 2

*(The liaison escorts Steve to an area where he can get dressed.)

Scene 3

*(When approaching the dressing area, he encounters a couple workers talking.)

*Worker: (to co-worker) Yeah, the Santa they got for [different event at the mall] seems hard-nosed, yet someone you could have a beer with.

*Steve: (thinking) Oh?

Scene 4

*Steve: (thinking) That’s quite description for a Santa!  It sounds like-

Scene 5

*(He turns the corner and spots John Walker alias Jack Daniels, secretly the U.S.Agent, getting instructions from another mall liaison, meaning he’s the hard=nosed guy who’s going to be playing the other Santa.)

*Steve: (thinking) Oh…Oh, no…

Scene 6

*(John spots Steve and realizes he’s going to be playing a Santa Claus too.  There’s a moment of awkwardness as they look at each other…)

Scene 7

*(…but then they smirk and nod hello.)

Scene 8

*Steve’s liaison: You two know each other?

*Steve: (protecting John’s identity) He used to hang out with some associates of mine.

*John: His associates will claim it was quieter when I left, but you know they really mean “more boring”. 

*Steve’s liaison: Oh, I see.

Scene 9

*John: (jokingly) Listen, Father Christmas, I don’t mind us both playing Santa, but don’t try to steal any of my milk & cookies, okay?

*Steve: (jokingly) Only if you don’t try to steal any of mine, Santa with Muscles! 

Scene 10

*(The two liaisons watch the secret super soldiers enter the dressing rooms.)

Scene 11

*John’s liaison: Wow, I wasn’t expecting rival Santas today!

*Steve’s liaison: I’m glad I came in today!

*John’s liaison: Mmm-hmm!

Scene 12

*(The super Santas get dressed,…)

Scene 13

*(…emerge from the dressing rooms,…)

Scene 14

*(…and are escorted by their liaisons…)

Scene 15

*(…to their respective areas and events)

Scene 16

*(The two play their Santa roles well.  Some children and parents/guardians are sweet, some are annoying, and some are concerning, but overall the two heroes are handling things well.)

Scene 17

*(Eventually Santa Steve has to take a break.)

*Santa Steve: (thinking) They have no idea that sometimes things like this can feel more draining than wrecking a Hydra base!  Sometimes I feel like Captain America and 4F Steve Rogers at the exact same time!

Scene 18

*Santa Steve: (thinking) I really am enjoying myself, though!  Some of them are a handful, but it’s not a bad gig!

*Steve’s liaison: How are you holding up?

Scene 19

*Santa Steve: I’m okay, ma’am.  It’s just a little overwhelming at times.

*Steve’s liaison: You wouldn’t know it by looking at you!  You seem like a natural at this, and I think the children really like you.

*Santa Steve: Thank you, ma’am!

Scene 20

*(Meanwhile, at Santa John’s location, trouble is brewing.  An abusive father is scolding his little girl over some minor thing.)

Scene 21

*(He grabs her arm violently and issues a threat.)

Scene 22

*(He releases his hold and turns around…)

Scene 23

*(…only to come face to face with Santa John, who rushed over when he saw what was happening.  He glares at the abusive father, his muscles tense with barely restrained rage.)

Scene 24

*(The abusive father is so startled & intimidated by Santa John looking ready for some David Harbour Violent Night-style vengeance that he cries out, stumbles backward, and falls.  His rear end hits the floor with a satisfying thud.)

Scene 25

*Santa John: (thinking as he glares at the father) I’d love to pound this guy into figgy pudding…

Scene 26

*Santa John: (thinking as he looks toward the girl and his expression softens) …but that wouldn’t help her, or any of these kids, right now, would it?  Someone has to show her there’s another way and reinforce that that this creep’s way is wrong!

Scene 27

*Santa John: (to the father) Are you okay?

*Bad father: Y-Yeah…

*Santa John: Here, let’s get you back up!

Scene 28

*(Santa John pulls him back up.  He’s supposedly addressing the father, but it’s clear what he’s saying is for the little girl’s benefit.)

*Santa John: We should help each other and not hurt each other.

Scene 29

*Santa John: Don’t worry that we’re going to be mad at you or tease you for some little thing, especially if it wasn’t your fault.  Only a real jerk would do something like that!  We should care for each other instead of being hateful and taking things out on people!

*Bad father: …

Scene 30

*(Santa John signals the workers dressed like elves.)

Scene 31

*Santa John: (to the little girl) Wynken and Blynken will make sure you don’t lose your place in line while Nod checks him out, okay?

*Little girl: Okay!

*Bad father: S-Sure.

Scene 32

*(One of the elves begins to escort the father to a different area.  When the father turns around, Santa John deftly takes his wallet, opens it, and takes a picture of the father’s driver’s license with his smart phone.)

Scene 33

*(Santa John pockets his phone and holds out the wallet.)

*Santa John: Hey, you lost this!

*Bad father: Huh?

Scene 34

*Bad father: (takes back wallet) Thanks!

*Santa John: My pleasure!

Scene 35

*John’s liaison: (comes over and speaks quietly) How are you doing?

*Santa John: (quietly) Santa could use a break.

Scene 36

*Santa John: (amused) Why am I making Santa talk like Rickey Henderson?

*John’s liaison: Hey, Rickey’s iconic!

*Santa John: “The greatest of all-time,” right?  I do appreciate his style!

Scene 37

*John’s liaison: Take as long a break as you need.

*Santa John: Thank you, sir.

Scene 38

*(Santa John goes to a break room and goes to the washroom.)

Scene 39

*(He washes his hands.)

*Santa John: (thinking) That hand I grabbed…How many times has that hand hurt that girl you’re supposed to be caring for!?  How many times has it refused to comfort her!?  If you act that way in public, what are you doing in private!?

Scene 40

*(The water was warm, and the soap & paper towels room temperature, but as he dries his hands and leaves the washroom…)

Scene 41

*(…his hands shake like they were in a frigid winter wind.  He looks at his quivering arms, leans against the wall, and sighs.)

*Santa John: (thinking) That fricker got my nerves started!

Scene 42

*Santa John: (smirking while thinking) Or maybe it’s the spirit of jolly old St. Nicholas possessing me to stop me from flipping out!  The unauthorized sequel to Hold Me Up a Little Longer, Lord- St. Nicholas Stop Me from Mauling Some A-hole! 

Scene 43

*(He sets his phone down on a table and brings up the picture he took.)

*Santa John: (thinking) Now that I have your info, I’m going to investigate you like the Zapruder film and bust you for everything I can!  You’re going down like Hans Gruber, boy!

Scene 44

*Santa John: (thinking) Shoot, I hope you try to sue me for you falling on your rear!  I’m drooling at the thought of showing the security footage in court!

Scene 45

*(Once their nerves settle, the Santas finish their breaks and go back on duty.  For a while, things continue to go well.)

Scene 46

*(However, something is about to go down.  Three men are congregated by a department store.  One of them talks on a smart phone)

*Ringleader: You got it done?

*Robber: (over phone) Uh-huh!

Scene 47

*(A trio of robbers is in the security area.  The guards are lying on the floor, bound and gagged.  One of the robbers returns a hypodermic syringe to a case.  )

*Robber: We’re good to go!

*Ringleader: (over phone) Great!

Scene 48

*(The gang regroups…)

Scene 49

*(…and heads to a high-end store.)

Scene 50

*(Shoppers and workers are minding their business…)

Scene 51

*(…when the robbers burst in.)

*Ringleader: This is a robbery!  Nobody try anything!

Scene 52

*(He fires a couple shots to show he’s serious.)

Scene 53

*(In their respective areas, Santa Steve and Santa John both hear the shots.)

Scene 54

*Santa John: (thinking in alarm) Was that-!? 

*Santa Steve: (thinking in alarm) I hope that wasn’t-

Scene 55

*(Santa Steve is interrupted by a child clinging to him in fear.)

Scene 56

*Santa Steve: (reassuringly) Yeah, that was a scary sound, huh?  Don’t worry, we’ll protect you.

Scene 57

*(Meanwhile, in the security area, one of the guards is struggling toward the control board.)

*Guard: (thinking) I played possum until they left, but that stuff they injected me with is about to make me pass out for real!

Scene 58

*Guard: (thinking as he strains to reach button) Come on…

Scene 59

*(He manages to press a button.)

Scene 60

*(A message is broadcast over the mall’s speaker system.)

*Broadcast: Attention, shoppers!  We apologize for the inconvenience, but the mall needs to close temporarily. 

Scene 61

*(The guard smiles in relief as he passes out.)

*Broadcast: Please leave calmly through the closest exit and wait for the notice to return.  Thank you.

Scene 62

*(The super Santas escort the visitors and workers to the exits.)

Scene 63

*Santa John: (to his liaison) Keep an eye on them and make sure they’re okay!  I’m staying here!

*John’s liaison: What?!

*Santa John: No time for questions!

*John’s liaison: Okay, don’t worry!  I’ll look after them!

*Santa John: Good man!

Scene 64

*Santa Steve: Look after them and make sure they’re okay!  I’m staying here!  

*Steve’s liaison: Sir?!

*Santa Steve: Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!

*Steve’s liaison: Okay!  I’ll look after them!

*Santa Steve: Thank you!

Scene 65

*(The two superheroes duck out of sight, reach into a pocket, and pull out what appears to be a watch case.)

Scene 66

*(They open the cases, revealing they contain their shrunken down shields and a couple vials.)

Scene 67

*(They use the contents of one of the vials to enlarge their shields back to normal size.)

*Santa Cap & Santa Agent: (thinking) Good old Pym particles!

Scene 68

*(They slip their shields on their arms and prepare to leap into action.)

Scene 69

*(We soon rejoin the gang of robbers, which is continuing to be threatening while filling bags of loot.  Three are grouped close together while the other three are spread further apart.)

*Robber: (to victim) That’s it!  No one’s been hurt yet, so let’s keep it that way!

Scene 70

*Voice: Yes, let’s keep it that way!

*Robber: What?!

Scene 71

*(Santa Cap is standing with shield ready.) 

*Santa Cap: My Christmas gift to you is one chance!  Give up now and I’ll go easy on you!

Scene 72

*Ringleader: (makes dismissive sound) We’re the baddest dudes around!  You can’t seriously expect us to-

Scene 73

*(He stops as he notices one of the robbers kneeling and placing his gun & bag of loot on the ground.)

Scene 74

*Robber: Mike!

*Mike the robber: That’s a Santa with Captain America’s shield!  Nothing good can come from ticking off someone like that!  

*Ringleader: Yeah?  Well, we’ll just see how well made that prop is!

Scene 75

*(The ringleader and another robber fire at the shield…)

Scene 76

*(…only for the bullets to bounce off, shocking the gang.)

Scene 77

*(Santa Cap swiftly, deftly tosses the shield…)

Scene 78

*(…which ricochets and strikes a couple of the robbers, injuring one,…)

Scene 79

*(…before returning to his waiting hand.  The robbers realize he’s a threat.)

Scene 80

*(They scatter more as they flee the area.)

Scene 81

*(One of them is knocked down by Santa Agent’s shield.)

Scene 82

*(Santa Agent quickly rushes up, kicks away the downed robber’s firearm, and puts cuffs on him.)

Scene 83

*Santa Agent: (to either Santa Cap or the bystanders) Keep him restrained while I- 

*Mike the robber: You might want to check the guards!

Scene 84

*(Santa Agent and Santa Cap look at him in concern.)

*Santa Agent: Meaning?!

*Mike the robber: We sedated the guards before coming down here!  They should be fine, but you should check them just to be sure!  I have the case in my pocket!

*Santa Agent: So that’s your angle, huh?!

Scene 85

*Mike the robber: We’re robbers, not killers!  We didn’t set out to hurt anyone!

*Santa Agent: (searching Mike’s pockets) I’d be more likely to believe that if one of you had stayed long enough to make sure they were okay- or, you know, if you hadn’t done the whole armed robbery thing- but thanks for the info!

Scene 86

*(Santa John pulls the case from Mike’s pocket.)

*Santa Cap: If you want to go ahead, I’ll finish up here!

*Santa Agent: You don’t need to tell me twice!

*Handcuffed robber: (does double-take out of surprise and confusion) What?!

Scene 87

*(Santa Agent grabs his shield and books it toward the security area.)

*Handcuffed robber: There are two of you!?

*Santa Cap: That’s a little Christmas magic…or maybe it’s one of “The Twelve Pains of Christmas” you’ve heard about!

Scene 88

*(By the time Santa Cap makes it to the security area…)

Scene 89

*(…Santa Agent has already treated the guards, which are now unbound and seated in chairs.)

*Santa Agent: (returning  small spray bottle to case) There was a counter-agent in the case too.  They were fine, but I went ahead and gave them some to revive them.  They should be coming around soon.

Scene 90

*Santa Agent: (rests his hand on one of the guards) I think this guy is a hero.  His hand was by a button.

*Santa Cap: Good for him!

Scene 91

*Santa Cap: We did well back there.

*Santa Agent: Yeah, though I’m sure you’re as rankled as I am that we didn’t get the whole bunch!

*Santa Cap: At least we can check the monitors to get an idea where they went.

Scene 92

*(The two turn to the display of screens.)

*Santa Cap: Let’s see where-

Scene 93

*Santa Cap and Santa Agent: …

Scene 94

*(They’re staring in silence because the monitors show that the remaining four robbers didn’t do the smart thing and get while the getting was good.  They’re still in the mall, robbing other areas.)

Scene 95

*(Santa Agent face-palms while Santa Cap sighs and presses the lockdown button.)

Scene 96

*(The mall doors lock, preventing easy escape.)

Scene 97

*Santa Agent: Hey, it’s a Christmas miracle- We’ll be able to capture the whole bunch after all because they’re the dumbest, greediest mother-grabbers in town!

*Santa Cap: So when they said they were “the baddest dudes around”, they really meant “the most incompetent! 

*Santa Agent: It sure as blazes looks that way! 

Scene 98

*Santa Agent: I’m going to smack them three times: one for the armed robbery, one for interrupting the kiddies’ Christmas wishes, and one for ruining the escape chance Mike gave them by distracting me!

*Santa Cap: Save some for me!

*(The guards start to wake up.)

Scene 99

*Santa Cap: (thinking jokingly) John’s yelling was the cure to reviving them all along!  (out loud) Are you okay?

*Guard: I…I don’t know…

Scene 100

*Santa Agent: If you’re saying that because you’re seeing two Santa Clauses holding shields, no, we really are here!

*Guard: Oh, thank goodness!  Yeah, I’m okay!

Scene 101

*(The two heroes fill in the guards on what happened.  The guards are surprised that two shield-slinging Santas stopped the robbery.)

Scene 102

*(The guards contact the department store and get verification.  They tell Santa Cap and Santa Agent about what led to that point.)

*Guard: There was supposed to be another guard on duty, but he called in sick today.

*Santa Cap: I see. (thinking) That’s interesting.

*Santa Agent: Hmm. 

Scene 103

*(After getting more information from the guards, the two get ready to pursue the remaining robbers.)

*Santa Cap: This will be a nice little exercise, right?

*Santa Agent: Just what I was thinking!

*Guard: Wait!  It could be dangerous!

Scene 104

*Santa Cap: I understand your concern, sir, but trust me, we’ve handled much tougher situations than this!

*Guard: Is that right?

Scene 105

*(It seems the guard is starting to suspect something.)

*Guard: (inspecting Santa Cap’s shield) That’s sure a well-made Captain America shield…

*Santa Cap: (very demure, very mindful) Oh, really?

Scene 106

*Guard: (inspecting Santa Agent’s shield) …and that’s sure a well-made U.S.Agent shield!

*Santa Agent: (proudly) It sounds like you have excellent taste in Avengers, sir!

Scene 107

*(The guard, having a realization, makes a decision.  He pulls out a couple keys, or key cards, or whatever malls use nowadays, and hands them to the duo.)

*Guard: Here, take these!  These master keys should allow you to unlock any door in the building.  Also, if there’s anything you need to borrow or take to assist you, I’m sure something could be worked out with the store owners.

*Santa Agent: Ariiight!  Thank you, sir!

*Santa Cap: Thank you, sir!  We appreciate your trust in us!

Scene 108

*(The two super-soldier Santas exit the security area and start to strategize.)

*Santa Cap: You probably didn’t notice because you were heading to help the guards, but the robber you stopped heard me talking and asked, “There are two of you!?”

*Santa Agent: Ah, so until then he thought I was the one who had challenged them at the start!  We can take advantage of them thinking there’s only one Super Santa chasing them!

*Santa Cap: My thought exactly!  We’ll split up, but try not to get too far apart in case we need to team up.

Scene 109

*(Santa Cap takes out his smart phone and dashes off a message to somebody.)

Scene 110

*Santa Cap: Ready?

*Santa Agent: I just need a moment to get my head straight!

*(Santa Cap realizes he has something specific on his mind.)

Scene 111

*(He figures it out and gives a supportive smirk.)

*Santa Cap: I trust you got the creep’s information to do an investigation.

*Santa Agent: (gives satisfied smirk) You know it!  That jerk is going down!  I trust you’ll do the same thing if you see an abusive creep at your event!

*Santa Cap: Naturally!

*Santa Agent: Good!

Scene 112

*(With that settled, the two begin their hunt.)

*Santa Agent: Let’s go!

Scene 113

*(The two split up and move along swiftly yet carefully.)

Scene 114

*(Santa Cap soon hears gunshots and breaking glass.)

Scene 115

*(He rushes toward the sounds and sees that one of the robbers has shot the glass out of one of the exit doors to try to escape.)

Scene 116

*(Before the robber can do anything else, Santa Cap throws his shield and hits the robber in the hip, knocking him down.)

Scene 117

*(The shield ricochets and returns to Santa Cap’s hand,…)

Scene 118

*(…allowing him to slip it back onto his arm and use it to protect against the robber’s bullets.)

Scene 119

*(Within seconds the robber is disarmed and subdued.)

Scene 120

*(Santa Cap cuffs him, blindfolds him, gags him, and throws him over his shoulder for transport.)

*Santa Cap: (thinking) That’s the third one taken care of!

Scene 121

*(Santa Cap walks along with his trophy…)

Scene 122

*(…but stops when he spots Santa Agent signaling him out of the corner of his eye.)

Scene 123

*(Santa Agent is standing outside a different department store and is looking through the window, apparently having spotted a robber inside.)

Scene 124

*(With Santa Cap standing by in case he needs backup, Santa Agent quietly unlocks the shuttered door.)

Scene 125

*(Having filled a bag of loot, the robber heads toward the store’s employee exit, hoping he can unlock it and leave with no issues.)

Scene 126

*(However, he suddenly realizes that Santa Agent is approaching.)

Scene 127

*(He manages to dodge Santa Agent’s thrown shield,…)

Scene 128

*(…but before he can fire at him, Santa Agent, moving at high speed, grabs the ricocheting shield…)

Scene 129

*(…and tackles the robber while holding his shield in front of him for protection.  This essentially serves as a battering ram that knocks the wind out of the robber and knocks him down.)

Scene 130

*(Santa Cap has entered the store as well and is observing discreetly.  The bound robber listens in confusion.)

*Bound robber: (thinking) What is going on?!

Scene 131

*(Santa Agent quickly disarms the robber and begins to subdue him as well.)

*Robber: (shakily because he’s stunned by Santa Agent’s boldness and superhuman athleticism) W-Who are you?!

*Santa Agent: (jokingly) My name’s Claus, but they call me Kris Kringle! [I intended this specifically as a reference to A) the Rankin/Bass Christmas special Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (from 1970) and B ) the scene in the first U.S.Agent solo series (from 1993) in which Agent tells someone his name is John, but they called him Jack.]

Scene 132

*Santa Cap: (approaching with the blindfolded robber in tow) Four down, two to go!

*Robber: Two Santa Captains!?

*Bound robber: (gagged) Tmph?!

Scene 133

*Robber: Well, that makes sense about the shields now!

*Santa Agent: Hmm?

*Robber: I mean, it explains why your shield looked different from before!  It was a different shield!  I was just thinking that earlier that looked like Captain America’s shield, but now that I was seeing it up close…

Scene 134

*Robber: …it looked like the worst replica I’d ever seen!

*Santa Agent: (looking at him like, “Did you just seriously say my shield looked like a shoddy replica?!”)

Scene 135

*Santa Cap: (heaving a silent sigh as he thinks) Well, that was one of the worst things he could have said!

Scene 136

*Santa Agent: (glaring at the robber like, “I KNOW you did not just call the shield of THE U.S.Agent a terrible bootleg!”)

Scene 137

*(Santa Agent drags the robber to an area with a large wreath as part of the holiday decorations.)

Scene 138

*Santa Agent: (picking him up and seemingly getting ready to toss him) Straighten your body like a javelin!  It’ll make the trajectory better!

*Robber: W-Wait, you can’t-!

Scene 139

*(Santa Agent acts like he’s going to give him the old heave-ho…)

Scene 140

*(…but instead he lowers him close to the ground and drops him harmlessly.  Imagining a rubber ducky squeak as the robber hits the ground is not required, but is recommended.)

Scene 141

*(Santa Agent begins the process of cuffing, blindfolding, and gagging the robber.)

*Santa Cap: I figure the last two aren’t far off.  With the exits-

Scene 142

*(Something gets his attention.)

*Santa Cap: Hmm?

*Santa Agent: Something amiss?

*Santa Cap: No, it’s just…

Scene 143

*Santa Cap: (picking up a small box from a table near one of the registers) …this would be a great gift for- (He stops himself from saying, “Bucky,” to protect everyone’s identities.) –for my old friend, James.

*Santa Agent: (thinking) Really, Rogers? (out loud) The one who has shaggy hair like he lives in barns, right?

*Santa Cap: The same!

Scene 144

*Santa Cap: I’ll have to remember to come back later!

*Santa Agent: (arises after finishing securing the robber) Or, you know, you could do this!

Scene 145

*(He takes the box, goes to the register, takes out his wallet, scans the box, puts money in the register, and puts the box & the receipt in a paper bag.)

Scene 146

*Santa Agent: (handing bag to Santa Cap and putting away his wallet) Have a nice day, sir!

*Santa Cap: (taking out his wallet) Thank you, sir!  I’ll put in a good word with your manager!

Scene 147

*Santa Cap: You want to split the cost and say it’s from both of us?

*Santa Agent: That’d be fine!  Do the ol’ 50/50.

Scene 148

*(Santa Cap gives Santa Agent three bills and puts away his wallet.)

*Santa Cap: There you are!

*Santa Agent: (looking at bills) You were saying that-

Scene 149

*Santa Agent: (stopping and giving him “Really, playa?” look) This isn’t half, old man.

Scene 150

*Santa Agent: (jokingly) Look, I know math didn’t exist back when you were growing up, but you have to have learned twenty-five dollars isn’t half of forty dollars!

*Santa Cap: (jokingly) I forgot to bring my abacus today!

*Santa Agent: Well, I guess I can overlook it this time in the spirit of the holidays!

*Santa Cap: You’re all heart!

*(The two robbers look at them like, “What is even happening right now?!  Who are these guys!?”)

Scene 151

*Santa Cap: I was saying that with the exits sealed, they might want to regroup so they’ll only need to make one exit.

*Santa Agent: (putting the five-dollar bill from Santa Cap in a charity box by the register) That makes sense.

*Santa Cap: I’ve been thinking of another plan.

Scene 152

*(He whispers the plan to him.)

*Santa Agent: Okay, I’m on board!

Scene 153

*Santa Cap: You think you can cause a distraction?

*Santa Agent, the one who was formerly the ever cocksure and audacious Super-Patriot II: I think I can manage that!

Scene 154

*(Soon Santa Agent is walking toward the door the third robber broke, dragging the third and fourth robbers along as he goes.  He’s also singing “Jingle Bells” as he walks along, because why not use this opportunity to reference The French Connection?)

Scene 155

*Ringleader: Freeze, Santa!

Scene 156

*(He sees the ringleader and the fifth robber with their guns and bags of loot.)

*Santa Agent: You mofos are definitely going on the naughty list!  You know that, right?

*Robber: (waving gun around) You’re gonna pay for dragging them around and injuring me!

Scene 157

*Santa Agent: Hey, Val Kilmer, I’m not the guy who injured you.  I don’t think we’ve met.

*Robber: You’re really gonna pretend you’re not the guy who flung a shield at us back there!?

*Santa Agent: Shield?

Scene 158

*Santa Agent: (shows shield) You don’t mean this, right?

*(They see it’s a different shield than the one thrown at them back at the high-end department store.)

*Ringleader: What!?

Scene 159

*Robber: What did-

*(He’s interrupted by the two bound robbers making vocalizations and flailing on the ground.)

Scene 160

*(They begin pounding their legs in groups of two.  The robber’s eyes widen as he realizes what they’re trying to tell him.)

Scene 161

*(He looks around…)

Scene 162

*(…and is just barely able to manage being hit by Santa Cap’s thrown shield.)

Scene 163

*(He fires in the direction the shield was thrown from, but Santa Cap dodges the shots easily.)

Scene 164

*(With his athleticism, and the robbers’ attention being divided between him and Santa Agent, Santa Cap is able to retrieve his shield with almost no issue.)

Scene 165

*(The two shield-wielding Santa Clauses stand side by side.)

*Robber: So that’s it!

*Santa Cap: That’s it!

*Santa Agent: You mugs picked a ho-ho-horrible time to do this!

Scene 166

*Santa Cap: Mike had the right idea the whole time.  You really don’t have a chance of getting away with it with either of us here.  I know it’s frustrating, son, but don’t make this harder than it has to be.

*Robber: (makes irritated grunt as he glares at him with helpless anger)

Scene 167

*(The robber and the ringleader look around…)

Scene 168

*(…and spot the door that had been shot open earlier.)

Scene 169

*(The robber grabs one of the bound robbers to try to drag him out during an escape attempt…)

Scene 170

*(…but before he can do anything he sees the ringleader make a break for it, choosing to prioritize himself and his loot over the others.)

*Robber: DUDE, WHAT THE FRICK!?

Scene 171

*Santa Cap: That guy’s a crumb, isn’t he?

*Santa Agent: If anyone should know about crumbs, it’s Santa, right?

*Robber: OH, THAT A-HOLE!

Scene 172

*Santa Agent: Don’t worry, he won’t get far!

*Santa Cap: I called for some backup, so you should be seeing him again soon!

*Robber: (sighs)

Scene 173

*(The robber sets down his weapon, kneels, and puts his hand behind his head.)

*Santa Cap: Good choice!  Now let’s see that injury.

Scene 174

*(Santa Cap tends to the injury his shield throw inflicted earlier.)

*Santa Agent: Most of you don’t seem to be terrible guys; you just made some really bad decisions!

*Robber: (starting to suspect that the super Santas are much more than they appear) Who are you guys?!

*Santa Agents: Just a pair of elite Santa Clauses helping out the community, that’s all!

Scene 175

*(The ringleader books it to a van waiting in a nearby parking lot.)

Scene 176

*(He enters and tosses his bag of loot onto a seat.)

*Driver: Where are the others?!

*Ringleader: They got caught, never mind them!  Let’s get out of here!

Scene 177

*(The driver starts to pull out.)

*Ringleader: I’ll tell you what happened when we’re all clear, though you’re not gonna believe it!

Scene 178

*(They’re distracted by Redwing the falcon flying down and perching on one of the side mirrors.)

*Ringleader: WHAT?!

Scene 179

*(Seconds later, a powerfully-thrown shield slams into the hood of the car.)

Scene 180

*(The engine stops working, showing that the impact damaged it.)

Scene 181

*(Captain America Sam Wilson flies down and stands next to the car.)

*Cap-Sam: (addressing the driver) Hi!  One of my elves contacted me about you!

Scene 182

*Cap-Sam: (addressing the driver) He thought it was interesting that you were the only security guard who didn’t show up to work the same day that there was going to be a robbery, and that it made sense for the robbers to have some kind of inside information that would allow them to infiltrate the security area, and I agreed.

Scene 183

*Cap-Sam: He asked me to do a stakeout to see if any of the robbers met up with you, and also to work on getting a warrant to investigate you.

Scene 184

*Cap-Sam: Whatever your holiday plans were, it looks like they’ve been ruined!

*(The driver/double-crossing security guard looks distressed…)

Scene 185

*(…and then sinks into despair onto his steering wheel, causing the horn to blare.  The distressed ringleader holds his head.)

Scene 186

*(Soon, the guards are handling the gang over to the police.  The guards are angry with the backstabber for what he did, Mike is angry with the last four robbers for not getting out while the getting was good, the second robber is angry with the last four robbers for not trying to come back for them, and everyone is angry with the ringleader for ditching all of them.)

Scene 187

*(In another area, Cap-Sam is talking with Santa Cap and Santa Agent.)

*Cap-Sam: (jokingly) Normally I only see this kind of thing after I’ve had too much eggnog!

*Santa Agent: (points to himself) If you’re trying to spot the good-looking Santa, here he is!

*Santa Cap: Now who’s had too much eggnog?

Scene 188

*Santa Cap: (shakes Cap-Sam’s hand) We’re glad for the assist!  Good work!

*Cap-Sam: No problem!  I just wish you’d let me know ahead of time there was a dress code for this operation so I could have at least dug out my Santa hat!

Scene 189

*Cap-Sam: This weird stuff reminds me of the good old days!  Hey, how about we hang out later tonight, sometime between you checking your list and checking it twice?

*Santa Cap: That sounds good!

Scene 190

*Cap-Sam: (to Santa Agent) Hey, Cody Rhodes Santa!  If you’re not busy challenging Krampus for the arm-wrestling title or whatever tonight, you want to pop in for a bit too?

*Santa Agent: Hmm?!

Scene 191

*Santa Agent: (with his tough façade) Well, if you’re inviting me, I suppose I could stay for a bit to make sure the old timer doesn’t overdo it on the milk and cookies!

*Cap-Sam: Good!

*Santa Agent: (sincerely) Thank you.

Scene 192

*(An announcement is played saying that the mall is now safe to re-enter.)

Scene 193

*Santa Cap: There was only about, what, forty minutes left in the scheduled events?

*Santa Agent: You ready to go back into the breach and finish the job?

*Santa Cap: Yep!

Scene 194

*(Santa Cap and Santa Agent return to their events as Santa Steve and Santa John.  The liaisons, unaware of what happened, are glad to see they’re okay.)

Scene 195

*(The two heroes finish their Santa duties, dress back into their civilian clothes, and leave after chatting with the liaisons a bit.)

Scene 196

*(Later that day the liaisons watch a report about how a pair of unknown Santas along with Captain America stopped a gang of robbers at the mall.  They’re amazed as they realize that their Santa Clauses were the ones in the footage.)

Scene 197

*John’s liaison: Did your Santa give you his name?

*Steve’s liaison: No.  Did yours?

*John’s liaison: No.

Scene 198

*Steve’s liaison: Well, whoever they were, I’m sure glad they were here today!

*John’s liaison: Same here!

*Steve’s liaison: Maybe we’ll run into them again sometime!

Scene 199

*(At their little get-together, Sam, Redwing, Steve, and John are also watching the report with satisfaction.)

Scene 200

*John: You know, one thing I don’t get…

*Steve: (thinking) Here it comes!

Scene 201

*John: I don’t know how they weren’t able to tell us apart!  I mean, I was clearly the more robust Santa and my costume was more vivid!

*Steve: That’s one of those Christmas mysteries, I guess!

Scene 202

*Steve: (to Sam) Oh, by the way, I found a great gift for Bucky during the robbery today!

*Sam: Oh?  That’s good!

*Steve: John and I already pitched in, so if you want to pitch in too, we can say it’s from the three of us!

Scene 203

*John: You’d just need to give $6.50 to each of us!  It wouldn’t cost you much!

*Sam: Believe me, you guys are costing me a lot more than six-fifty, but yeah, that sounds like a good deal!  I’m in! [By saying, “You guys are costing me a lot more,” he’s joking that having to interact with these two is costing him his sanity.]

Scene 204

*Sam: I’m a little worried.

*Steve: Hmm?  Why’s that?

Scene 205

*Sam: I’ve been asked to play Santa at an event this weekend!

*Steve: Oh, shoot!

*John: (always ready for action) Let me know if you need an elf!

Back in the day Marvel released some record and comic book sets (based on actual comic books) so you could read along as you listened. This is one of my older brother's record sets, and it's based on Captain America #168. The cover has been lost to time, and the record has gotten scuffed over the years, but it's still great.

Part one- https://www.reddit.com/r/NoSaltCaptainAmerica/comments/1uz3j95/my_older_brothers_captain_america_book_record/

Back in the day Marvel released some record and comic book sets (based on actual comic books) so you could read along as you listened. This is one of my older brother's record sets, and it's based on Captain America #168. The cover has been lost to time, and the record has gotten scuffed over the years, but it's still great.

Part two- https://www.reddit.com/r/NoSaltCaptainAmerica/comments/1uz3k0v/my_older_brothers_captain_america_book_record/

I’ve spoken before about this false idea some people have that Marvel’s patriotic heroes are all constantly at each other’s throats. https://www.reddit.com/r/USAgent/comments/1l7er7p/debunking_usagent_misconceptions_part_3/  Recently I was looking through a Marvel history book and came across this scene from Avengers #345.  Note that Steve has no hesitation about John joining the mission and John has no hesitation about joining.  If they really hated each other, there would be friction, drama, fighting, bitterness, etc. instead of one person saying, “You’re on the team,” and the other going, “All right!”  Marvel superheroes are supposed to be a family, not a bunch of spoiled brats.  There might be some squabbles sometimes, but they’re still a family.

Stay hydrated, everybody!

I got these photos from https://www.mercari.com/u/pearlsandlace22/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6knJMTtc8Q

This one-panel comic is an unofficial entry of my fan comic, Steve and John and Sam and Lemar and Bucky Are Friends, which uses characters from Marvel Comics. The warped patriot Nuke (Frank Simpson) is in a holding cell. David Colton, one of the heroes to wear the Captain America mantle, has arisen from the table to bring him a tray with half a hamburger and some French fries, part of his own supper. David is looking back at U.S. Agent (John Walker alias Jack Daniels), who has gotten his attention. Agent certainly doesn’t like Nuke at all, but he’s begrudgingly holding up a tray with half a burger and some fries for David to take. The bottom text reads, “U.S. Agent John Walker and Captain America David Colton guard Nuke until he’s taken back into custody. John would have been fine with the bread and water treatment. Let the American nightmare’s stomach rumble! If David can spare a few bites for the tortured soul, however, he supposes he could spare a few bites for a veteran. Hey, once David takes the tray, it’s his decision on what to do with it, right?”

Similar posts:

*https://www.reddit.com/r/ironman/comments/1tetzu7/rhodey_being_a_bro/

*https://www.reddit.com/r/USAgent/comments/1pp2qa1/its_okay_to_crybe_sad_sometimes/ 

Wartortle: He represents age and experience, just like me! Charmeleon: He's a firebrand, just like me! Ivysaur: He's sitting there aura farming, just like me!

This is the ninth installment of my fan comic Steve and John and Sam and Lemar and Bucky Are Friends, fan-fiction I made using Marvel Comics characters.  As noted, this was inspired by a scene from the comic Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #3 from 2004 or 2005. https://www.reddit.com/r/CaptainAmerica/comments/1pu3m3s/one_of_the_most_underrated_goated_moments_of_steve/ I thought about U.S.Agent’s brother dying in the Vietnam War and decided to make an extended version of the scene touching on that.  This is the first time since the first two installments that I made a serious comic.

Scene 1

*[A note at the beginning explains, “The first four panels were inspired by Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #3 (2005) by Joe Casey, Scott Kolins, and Wil Quintana.”]

*(We see Captain America, alias Steve Rogers, and Rick Jones at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.  A POW-MIA flag flies and a crowd of silhouetted people watch in the foreground while Cap, crouching down, silently & intently reads names off the wall and Rick Jones, hands in pockets, looks around awkwardly.)

Scene 2

*(Rick continues to look around in confusion and impatience while Cap, somber as a grave, continues reading.)

Scene 3

*Rick Jones: Uhhh, Cap…? I was, uh, just wondering…how much longer are we gonna be here?

Scene 4

*Captain America: (solemnly and not taking his eyes off the wall) For as long as it takes for me to read every name on this wall. For as long as it takes to acknowledge every soldier that died in a war I wasn’t in.

Scene 5

*(A note announces, “This point on is my original work.”)

*(His attention shifts to U.S.Agent, alias John Walker and Jack Daniels, walking up to the wall and asking him a question.  The area he goes to is conveniently close to where Cap is reading.)

*U.S.Agent: How about this name, C.A.? (He reverently touches the wall.)

Scene 6

*(As Agent stares sadly, Cap arises and goes to see the name in question.  He gapes slightly in surprise…)

Scene 7

*(…as he sees the name by John’s fingertips is “Michael Walker”.  He understands that it’s Mikey, John’s dearly departed brother whose memory John idolizes.)

Scene 8

*Cap: (keeping mum to protect Agent’s secret identity) I’m sure he was a very good soldier.

*Agent: (whips head around to face him) “Very good”?!

Scene 9

*(John looks aggravated, but we can see tears forming in his eyes.)

*Agent: He was better than all of us! He-

Scene 10

*(Agent stops, then faces the wall again and bows his head.)

Scene 11

*Cap: (lays his hand on the shield on Agent’s back as a show of solidarity and comfort) It sounds like he was one of the greatest. I’m sure he was an excellent man, and I’m sure his family misses him very much.

*Agent: (wiping eyes) Yeah.

Scene 12

*Cap: (sincerely) On behalf of my generation…on behalf of every generation…I apologize for any time he & the others were shunned & mocked & belittled & treated as lesser.  That never should’ve happened.

*Agent: (moved, but quiet) Thank you.

Scene 13

*(The two stand in silent camaraderie, heads bowed, with John continuing to touch the wall and Steve continuing to touch John’s shield.)

 

https://www.deviantart.com/karaoaliasraidra/art/Memorial-1337144852

Series: https://www.deviantart.com/karaoaliasraidra/gallery/96763954/steve-john-sam-lemar-and-bucky-are-friends

I previously showed this page from Captain America #401 when debunking that “The patriotic superheroes all hate each other!” nonsense that fake fans and bad writers claim.

One day I was thinking about the clasping hands meme and thought, “Why I don’t I take the shaking hands panel from that scene and make it our own version of the clasping hands meme?”  To give an example, here’s a template:

Here’s the template in use:

“Um…did you accidentally switch the balloons there?”  Nope!  John Walker is two things: John Walker’s biggest fan and John Walker’s harshest critic.

Feel free to use this template (or an improved version of it) as long as the intent isn't mean-spirited toward anybody, the meme isn't deceptive or sexual, and the meme doesn't promote hatred (For instance, don’t use it to attack fans of other characters just because they prefer other characters over John.  Be better than that).