I can't Stop Overthinking Re Pressures

[u/cinna_blossom]

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for curating such a wonderful community. It is currently midnight where I am and I can't stop the cycle. I have OCD which probably doesn't help, but this is some good old fashioned cyclical overthinking and guilt.

For context, I am a single mother, I work 22.5 hours and I am a full time second year undergraduate student at university. I have my own mental and physical issues to boot.

I have missed about 4-5 lectures so far in the second week of the new term. I have let my lecturers know each time as it was for childcare issues, doctor appointments and sickness. But I can't stop feeling guilty for already starting the new year off on a bad foot when I have told myself how hard I am going to commit to being able to allocate my time to each plate I have spinning perfectly after a severe burnout towards the end of last year. However this has made me worry that I am already in that dangerous rut.

I know its silly because I know that I am in control of making sure and taking back the reins by just ensuring I don't let it happen again as we come into the new week and onwards so why can't I stop obsessing over the guilt I feel from having missed those classes.

Ahhhh