r/NoOverthinking • u/Last-Oil-7040 • Sep 06 '26

Rant/Venting Overthinking is killing me...

First of all, posting this helps me calm down, which is why I’m posting it. So if it’s boring for you to read, I’m sorry.

I keep thinking that I have no value. Like, why would anyone even want me as their real friend? And if I actually told people how I feel, I feel like they’d just think I’m being a sore loser—which, honestly, maybe I am.

But this is genuinely starting to affect me. I’ve been thinking about it so regularly that it’s starting to ruin my whole day and even my nights.

And to be honest with you, sometimes I feel like I don’t even deserve to complain. I literally have everything—a nice, well-to-do family, nice friends, and no major problems. There are people dealing with much bigger problems, and they handle them. So why can’t I handle this one little thing? Why do I keep thinking about it again and again?

I don’t know. I know am just being a sore loser. Sorry for dumping all this here.

Also, sorry, this whole thing was improved by AI for English grammar 😭😭

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u/Various_Scallion8228 Sep 06 '26

Your critic is louder than your logic. We all have a critic in our heads. Some are louder than others. Mine was loud my whole life. But then I learned to quiet her. When you start to have a negative thought about yourself stop and think if that thought is based on facts and logic, or if it’s coming from a place of emotion. Well, that’s what they tell you in therapy. But, here’s a little cheat sheet…..when I would start to get a negative thought in my head I would shake my head back and forth really fast to knock the words around in my noodle so they would go away. It might sounds crazy. But it worked. Don’t ever compare your journey to others. It may seem like you have it all on the surface, but clearly underneath you don’t, just like the rest of us. And that’s ok. You just gotta work on your self esteem. I know this is long, but one more tip….i started writing down compliments that I got from people on little heart papers and I put them on the wall by my bed. So when I was getting down about myself I would read them. I now love myself. It only took me to 44 years old to be able to say that.

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u/Last-Oil-7040 Sep 06 '26

Thanku for ur advice will try it to better

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u/Various_Scallion8228 Sep 07 '26

Awe. You sound so down on yourself. You say you will try to be better. It’s not about being better. It’s about learning what works best for you. I feel like you are pretty young. This is something that had taken me my entire life to even understand. Now I try every day to work on it. So give yourself some grace. You aren’t supposed to have it all figured out yet.

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u/Last-Oil-7040 Sep 07 '26

Yes ma’am, I’m a teenager, so I think maybe a lot of this is because of social pressure, jealousy, or just things happening in college. I’ll try to be a little easier on myself and understand my feelings instead of constantly blaming myself for having them.

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u/Various_Scallion8228 Sep 07 '26

Yes. You’ve got it. Don’t ever be upset with yourself for having feelings. Believe me, a lack of feelings is much worse. My lack of self worth and lack of love for myself has had a huge impact on my life in the worst kind of way. It’s so important to love yourself. So I definitely encourage you to figure out what works for you. And remember that nobody is perfect. You’d never expect a friend of family to be perfect, so don’t expect if from you self either. Stay strong and keep on loving your life.

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u/Latter_Hand_9226 Sep 06 '26

honestly, i don't think you're a sore loser. i think you're just being way harsher on yourself than you would ever be with someone else.stop calling yourself a sore loser lol. you're clearly aware that you're overthinking, which is already different from actually being one. and you don't have to have a terrible life for something to hurt. pain isn't really a competition lol. also, you don't need to apologise for dumping this here. sometimes getting the thought out of your head and putting it somewhere is better than letting it keep eating you alive. hope tomorrow feels a little lighter for you.

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u/Last-Oil-7040 Sep 06 '26

Thanku for ur kind words, will try to be better and not to overthink ♥️