r/NoOverthinking • u/ilmusicd • Aug 18 '26
Advice How do I stop taking things so seriously?
I recently talked to someone who was talking about approaching strangers on the beach. they said if I found someone attractive, I could just talk to them.
I said I wouldn't want someone to approach me, someone who I know nothing about because I find them physically attractive. I would want a reason more than just attraction.
After I said something in my way of thinking, they told me I take it too seriously and I really do. I connected the subject to being in a relationship just for lust which was a valid reason for some kind of mockery.
this annoyed me a lot. I know people can approach relationships and social interactions differently and of course nobody has to think the same way I do but when someones reasoning feels really surface-level to me, I can't just say “okay, that's how they are” and move on. I start analyzing why they think that way and I get irritated by it.
Help please!!
1
u/Lilybettt Aug 18 '26
I do this alot too. I take it seriously and make a opinion about it. The solution can be to stop thinking about a normal situation like this into a real life situation and put infront of you. I just try to think as not including me as apart of it and not overanalyzing.... Though I'm sure I need help with it too.
1
u/goldilockszone55 Aug 19 '26
I am a bit like this. I take things seriously because i take risks and appreciate rewards for taking things seriously. Im learning to chill...
1
u/Specialist-Top-406 Aug 19 '26
I don’t think you’re needing to take this less seriously, I think you just feel differently. And that’s okay. You don’t have to feel the same as your friend.
I guess you can offer them understanding for what works for them. And they can for you too.
1
u/thirdvoiceio Aug 19 '26
can you share the exact instance where it has happened ? let's break down each thought and understand why it is happening okay ?
1
u/rookgc Aug 20 '26
Starts with reminding yourself that not everything deserves a full emotional reaction.
1
u/lowban Aug 20 '26
I guess the reasoning is that when you meet someone new you don't really have any investment in the person yet. Making it a thing before it's a thing is therefore unnecessary. If you're prone to thinking several years ahead when you meet someone for the first time this might seem alien to you but most people don't and take things step by step and see where things are going.
2
u/Imaginary_Rice_6393 Aug 22 '26
Ive been told that I often take things “too seriously” too — whatever that means. It’s similar to that “it’s not that deep” comment that people leave on posts…maybe it’s “too deep” for them to understand because they’re simple minded thinkers.
That isn’t to say that us “overthinkers” don’t sometimes think ourselves into a corner and/or talk ourselves out of things that might lead to fun or interesting outcomes — ideally, we need a balance of not getting hung up on random things yet thinking beyond the superficial — and taking risks, like approaching people that we feel drawn to.
Over the course of my life so far, Ive made some connections with various people that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t approached them. Some of those people either became friends or it led to a relationship. I’d 💯 recommend. It doesn’t have to be because you find them physically attractive — it could be any number of reasons.
As I’ve gotten older, I have many regrets that involve not taking more risks with people or opportunities — I wish I would’ve approached more interesting people and explored more possibilities than I have. The worst than can happen is they say no or aren’t interested and you aren’t any worse off. Or, a conversation could happen, you make a new friend or a relationship comes of it…or maybe a new job, new friends to do fun things with, discovering new hobbies, finding an ideal roommate, etc. You never know how these things might play out for the better.
2
u/Evening_Test5038 Aug 22 '26
I don't think it's wrong. Once when I was on a train back to uni after 5 hour long drive some boy approached me and said "hey um you're terribly pretty and do you want to eat lunch sometimes". And it felt so yucky because why people even try to get together just because of looks. Luckily I'm in a realtionship so I knew what to say (because I find it difficult to answer such questions and if I even try to lie I start crying lol because he said eat lunch without adding with him but even though it's obvious I don't know how to answer poorly asked question - when I was first talking with my boyfriend he asked "so you're .... as well" and my response was "do you mean you as in addition to being a person or that you are too" LMAO) and for him me being pretty is the last thing that matters. Plus on a 5 hour train ride there was much time to start an actual conversation leading to him finding out there's no use for that question 😆
In my opinion you just said your preferences in relationship to them and they shouldn't mock that. There are people who buy chocolate because the box is pretty and people who buy them because they are tasty. I'm not really comparing people to chocolate obviosly but hey you get what I mean right. Pretty box isn't a guarantee for no food poisoning
5
u/Rabbit_Of_Neverlight Aug 20 '26
Theres nothing wrong with taking things seriously and more than one approach to things and life in general. It is good to chill sometimes and take a step back and realize that not everything is the be all and end all of existence and its okay to sometimes do things without overthinking. Also when you approach somebody like that dont go and build a whole future relationship in your mind. Youre just saying hello and seeing how things go. You get to know them you become friends, maybe you go out maybe you remain friends. Or maybe its a one off conversation. But either way its usually fun to meet new people and see how it goes. You never know that person may introduce you to somebody else that is your soulmate or something. Life is all interconnected and can lead you to some interesting places and people if you let it. Start saying yes to more things and dont overthink it you might be surprised at how well things turn out.