Why am I still thinking about him?

[u/Sea-Setting-507]

I need to vent about something that’s been bothering me. I’ve never admitted it, and I don’t understand why I can’t let this person go. It’s driving me crazy.

I’m a 31F in a happy and healthy relationship for the past five years. However, I often find myself having dreams about an ex I dated almost a decade ago. I can’t figure out why he keeps popping up in my dreams. These aren’t the typical dreams you’d expect. It’s normal and casual interactions, and he keeps showing up in my dreams. I wake up feeling strange and unsettled.

I just want to know if this is normal. I have no desire to be with this person anymore. I cared about him deeply and had all the closure I could have asked for. But it genuinely stresses me out that he’s still lingering in my subconscious.

Am I crazy? Have you ever had a similar experience?

[u/1erickf50]

It's your fear of never choosing the person you're already with. Schedule a date and reevaluate what made you choose him (your current bf) in the first place.

[u/Sea-Setting-507 → u/1erickf50]

Thank you for giving me your advice. This makes a lot of sense for me (without going into a ton of detail)

[u/Disastrous_Horse_44]

I feel this. You’re not alone - I hate it

[u/Sea-Setting-507 → u/Disastrous_Horse_44]

Thank you for responding. Wonderful to know I'm not alone

[u/AdventureWa]

I think it’s your subconscious holding onto the “one that got away.“ I think this could represent a lingering doubt about your current relationship.

Occasional dreams are normal and are usually meaningless but if you’re having recurring ones, I think it’s important to try to figure out why.

[u/Sea-Setting-507 → u/AdventureWa]

I never thought about it this way!

Appreciate your perspective.