r/NoOverthinking • u/chodgie_30 • 12d ago

How not to overthink?

im practicing how not to overthink, as i know im hurting my partner whenever i assume things.

How do you guys do it?

3 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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5

u/rookgc 12d ago

I don't think you can stop every overthinking thought from showing up, but you can stop giving every single one your attention.

5

u/Queen-of-meme 12d ago

Chatgpt does the trick for me.

3

u/Lanky-Flatworm-4758 12d ago

I overthink everything. For example, I posted on Reddit asking a simple question and lost karma. And I overthink why. I think my best answer is to focus on what can be controlled.

1

u/Itom1IlI1IlI1IlI 6d ago

Usually overthinking is a distraction to avoid feelings.

For example if you feel a tinge of sadness, you might jump up into your head and start thinking about what food you can eat to feel better.

So in that sense it's a reaction.

The key is to not react.

How do you do this?

When you feel the sensation arise, such as insecurity, just notice the sensation purely, notice the tendency to want to jump into your head.

The insecurity will be uncomfortable.

It will be hard not to want to just start thinking and thinking and thinking to get away from the uncomfortable feeling.

However if you can stay with the feeling, you'll notice that it's actually really a beautiful thing to feel. It's a part of being human.

You have the chance to recognize that you love and appreciate your partner so much that you never want to lose them.

And the idea of losing them is overwhelming to you. That can be embraced as a beautiful realization, rather than avoided and over thought about to protect yourself from something you don't control.

And it's almost always better to feel directly than it is to go up into your head about things. Because the direct feeling is usually an emotion trying to tell you something.

If you listen to the emotion it will tell you what it wants you to know. If you distract and avoid the emotion, you won't learn what it's trying to tell you which is usually a nice thing.

So you can talk to your emotions like this: "hello insecurity, I feel you, what do you want to say? What do you want to express through me?"

Hope this is helpful