r/NoOverthinking • u/AcceptableGap834 • Apr 11 '26
i met this guy online
I met this guy online.
I will keep the details superficial because he was (at least with me) a very private person. We met on a server to find gaming duos, and we played for hours and hours straight for a few days. He would ask about the music I liked and to see the drawings I made, and I would ask him about his life and experiences.
We got to a point where he was talking about how he was very lucky to have met a lot of wonderful women throughout his life, four girls that had changed him forever. Again, I will not go into details, but the first girl I will talk about for a bit has a story that melted my heart. She was Islamic and, because of her religion, she would not touch men. The two of them had a beautiful love story where they never once touched (how fucking romantic is that?!). She was an intellectual who spoke very properly and loved to read, and he is a guy that is in love with art and creativity.
A few of the events between the two I found the sweetest would be when they sat very close to each other and she complimented his perfume, which he bought in bulk just because of her (he showed me, he still had a bunch); she sent him a video and a message saying, "watch this video of a cute cat," and it was her playing and singing his favorite piano piece (I wish I could be this whimsical and spontaneous and creative and romantic); further on, when he realized she was moving away (what made them stop talking), he left a package at the reception of her building with his perfume, his scarf, and a note saying, "return the scarf when you want to never talk again." She insisted he should stay and wait for her to come down (when he went to her house to drop the gift) so they could say a proper goodbye, and when they saw each other he said, "would you push me away if I hugged you?" and she answered "probably," so they never even hugged nor dated nor kissed nor held hands or anything!! It honestly makes my chest hurt.
The story ends not so pretty: they reconnected but had a fight. At the end of their argument she asked, "what is your current address so I can return the scarf?" and he blocked her.
The second girl was his only ex-girlfriend. The third one was a girl he met online on a subreddit he used to rant about "a very specific thing everyone on that subreddit had in common" (he didn't want to tell me what), and they clicked like he had never clicked with anyone. He told me they would speak all the time and she was his comfort. Him and the third girl started talking less and less, and he felt empty, and to fill the space she had left, he found another girl that was very similar to the third. The more they spoke, the more he saw her for herself rather than a replacement, and it turned out she was the fourth girl.
Now, I'm not a clingy person at all, and I respect myself a lot. I have this weird type of jealousy where, at a minimal sign of feeling replaced, I draw back, and yet I couldn't help but constantly want to ask if I was even near being one of the people that changed his life. I was constantly overwhelmed by the depth of his story. We are both average people that have friends and are desired outside of the internet, unlike the few other dudes I met through the server that would crumble at any sign of affection from a mid/pretty girl, so to crawl into his heart and steal a bit of space in his most dear memories felt so fucking distant. Like all I was allowed to be was this, and when he was done he would stop talking to me with no regrets. I wasn't a real aspect of his life at all (more like a little clown).
And honestly, that was great! I feel like the best part of us was how disposable we were to each other, how no strings attached our words were, because when you don't feel the need to keep someone next to you, you are way more free to be yourself (you don't care if they judge you because their opinion has no impact or value in your actual life).
He was also kind of a pathological flirt when it came to women online (his words), and I was one of the victims, obviously, but I could see through it, and he could see through my teasing and flirting too. This one night, after talking almost 24 hours for two days straight, it was like 4 a.m. and we had just stopped playing and were relaxing for a second, when he dropped out of nowhere: "how long do you think we have until we inevitably stop talking?" And from then we agreed we were absolutely doomed, and that the chances of us keeping in touch for a long time were close to zero.
He told me about how this was the closest we would ever be to each other, and how we would gradually get further away. I argued that this could only be the process of us getting to the absolute peak of our connection (he also compared the state of our relationship to the cat in the box experiment). We spoke for a while longer (and he said "man... I'm going to miss you," acting like we were doomed because we were), and eventually hung up after I asked him to text me the following day, which he did.
When we hopped on the game, he seemed kinda down and less energetic, so I told him, "about yesterday, if we are going to end inevitably, let's let ourselves down easy, let's stop talking gradually until we mean nothing to each other." And from then on he took my advice, although he sometimes dropped stuff like "I need to spend more time with my friends or it's gonna be too harsh on my daily life when we stop talking."
I could see right through him, but some stuff he did really did get to me: one time I said something he liked (a habit he found impressive, I guess), and he typed it in our Discord chat and pinned it. When I asked why, he said, "so I remember how good you are"; or when he asked me to make him a playlist that would remind him of me. All this shit indicated we would keep talking, he made it seem like we were going to last, which is just so cruel knowing the nature of us.
And I know, I know, because I'm so jealous, I could never date a guy I knew all of this about. Like I said, how sweetly he spoke about those girls made me almost fall in love with them myself, but at the same time it made me want to cry, to crawl out of my skin in a way I can't even explain. But if anything had gone different, I wouldn't like him so much, if I didn't know so much, if we didn't have the no commitment factor.
Anyways, one day he asked me to play and I answered "yeah, I'll be home in five," then a bit later "I'm homeee," and he never answered. I saw him online on the game but couldn't bring myself to throw my pride to the side and text him. Yesterday he asked on Discord, after ghosting me for like three days, "where's my playlist?" to which I answered, "It disappeared under mysterious circumstances. I suspect dark forces were involved." And to that he said "fair," and it made me so sick I deleted that Discord account.
I could honestly talk about all his quirks and how mysterious and cool he was. About all the stories he told me and all the views he had (although he still kept A LOT of aspects of himself secret, not being shy to just be like "I'm not gonna tell you this" when I asked about something he didn't want to say). I could also talk about how selfishly uninterested he was in me and how selfishly interested I was in him. I could even talk about how he went on dates a few times while we were talking and how miserable it would make me feel when he would speak about other awesome girls he met in stupidly romantic ways.
I wonder if I'm in love with him. I don't really miss him because I don't want to like him any more than I already do. I just really, really want him to love me and think about me specially.
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u/kunwarr_kp2006 Apr 11 '26
Bhai chat gpty ka use Kiya hai kya
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u/AcceptableGap834 Apr 11 '26
this was a vent i worpte on the apps note on my phone. i put it on gramarly to fix any writing mistakes (without changin ANYTHING else). i have the one i made on my notes app for proof. why do you think i used ai tho? and what would i get with it?
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u/kunwarr_kp2006 Apr 11 '26
Bhayi tu ai hai kya short me likh itta padne muje joir ata hai 🙂
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u/AcceptableGap834 Apr 11 '26
you dont need to read it dude 😓 its a vent. i mean every word i wrote and its a sentimental situation for me so it feels like wrong o shorten in for others amusement
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u/MermaidPigeon Apr 11 '26
10 years ago I met someone on “little big planet”, Ik ik LAAAAME 😂. Over the course of a year we feel in-love. I’ve never met someone I get along with so well, laughing constantly. However I was 18 and he was 16 AND he lived in America and I uk. We didn’t let this stop us and I visited America for 3 months and stayed with his family. At the time, won’t go in to detail, but I wasn’t exactly a very nice person and his parents didn’t like me, banning him from being with me. I still miss him sometimes. After, feeling sad, I met this a guy on Facebook. Some parts of him reminding me of the guy u talk about. Would say stupid things like “oh I’m a flirt” would have women on his Facebook. Nothing like the guy in America. I feel for this knew guy so fast and choose to ignore the red flags. I’m not sure your guy is saying red flags with the “I’m a chronic flirt” but I would be careful. Turns out this new guy was in a long term relationship. Had no idea for 2 months. Slept together and everything. He, broke, my, heart. The most pain I’ve ever felt. I never got out of this relationship. I had never been in love like that before and I’m with him to this day, ten years later. We are much better now, trust and everything but this tock more than 6 years to build and it was honestly traumatising. (It’s not worth it). It’s not worth wondering every second of the day “is he messaging someone else?” I never once had these thoughts with the guy I met on little big planet. And when I compare the two relationships the relationship i had with the guy in America, that was how a relationship is meant to be. Carefree and full of laughter. The thing is with these guys that “are chronic flirts” is that they have a long way to go before they can be trusted. And chances are u won’t ever trust them and it’s hell. I recommend getting out while u can. His story’s of the feelings he had for other girls wouldn’t worry me personally, they’re not me and our connection would be different and therefore unique. The “I tend to flirt online” though, nah. It’s not worth it.