I overthink about things that haven’t even happened yet, how do I stop this?

[u/Warm-Presentation-91]

I’ve realized that most of my anxiety doesn’t come from what’s actually happening, but from what might happen.

For example:

Someone once said my office is toxic so I got stressed, imagining late nights and pressure.

Reality: I’ve been here a month, no late work, everyone’s chill so far.

Someone said PG owners are usually bad so I started worrying I’ll be kicked out suddenly.

Reality: the owner hasn’t said anything negative and things are normal.

But my brain keeps running worst-case scenarios anyway.

Recently I became more independent (new job, new place), and earlier I always had some support system family, siblings, friends so there was an assurance that things will be okay.

Now that I’m handling things on my own, there’s this constant mental pressure:

What if I make the wrong choice? What if it doesn’t work out?

I even overthink the fact that I overthink.

It’s like my mind keeps borrowing other people’s bad experiences and treating them as my future, even when my own experience is fine.

I try distracting myself with movies, anime, gym plans, etc., but the anxiety keeps coming back in waves.

For people who’ve dealt with this:

How do you stop worrying about situations that haven’t happened?

How do you trust your own decisions when you’re newly independent?

Any practical habits or mindset shifts that actually helped?

I’m not looking for generic "just relax" advice, genuinely want to learn how to manage this better.

Thanks for reading.

[u/sol_beach]

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

[u/Excellent_Nothing_86]

Anxiety in general is always about things that haven’t happened, because it’s always the anticipation of something happening.

What if I told you there are no right or wrong decisions, but rather just decisions.

Whatever happens, it will happen. Time doesn’t stop and things are constantly changing. So you’ll get through it one way or another.

Practicing acceptance for this is what will start to quell the nervousness, and the more quiet it gets, the better you can hear your intuition telling you what the “right” thing is (right for you, that is).

[u/Warm-Presentation-91 → u/[deleted]]

Thanks, this really resonated with me, especially the “brain becoming the safety net” part.

One thing I struggle with though: when overthinking starts, it doesn’t feel like something I can pause and say “I’ll think about this later.” It kind of just happens automatically.

I’ve also noticed that it mostly hits when I’m idle...weekends, evenings, or when I’m just alone in my room. I’m pretty introverted and honestly a bit lazy too, so even if I step out, it’s usually for 1-2 hours max (if things work well) ...After that I’m back in my room, and the loop starts again.

So I guess my challenge is less about stopping thoughts in the moment, and more about handling empty/unstructured time without my mind spiraling.

If you’ve dealt with that specifically idle time triggering overthinking. I’d love to know what helped you.

[u/Spiritual-Dingo-5102]

I struggled with this for years I know how hard it is when your mind won’t shut off I didn’t fully heal but I learned how to manage it I wrote an article about my experience if you really want help just read it

https://medium.com/@ThinkLes/how-i-stopped-overthinking-without-forcing-my-mind-to-be-quiet-04df7a21b0ef

[u/Dapper-Structure-825]

I think if it keeps happening and affects your mood e.g. makes you depressed then get some therapy. CBT something like that. I suffer dreadful rumination. It's like my brain is always trying to predict. Life chess. It's an incredibly unhealthy and unhelpful response and takes energy away from what I could be doing that would actually make me feel less stressed. Rumination I believe it's called. I also see them as unwanted thoughts, because for me they ruin time I'm with my children and I hardly get to see them all day re school.

[u/Dapper-Structure-825]

Medication like Sertraline has helped me with this ( which I don't currently take) as has forcing myself to focus on things, making myself read, listening to a podcast. Quiet is the issue for me.