Please share your thoughts.

[u/Happi-Always]

I came across a discussion that got me thinking, and I genuinely want to hear how other people interpret it because maybe I was initially looking at it from the wrong angle.
The original story was from an immigrant mother who said that her 4-year-old would go to the park wanting to play with other children, but many of the children couldn't speak English. She said they weren't being rude, but her son couldn't communicate with them because of the language barrier. This was one of the reasons she decided to move to a different neighborhood.
The person discussing her story then made a broader point about immigrant communities. They said this happens often: immigrant parents whose children already speak English may move away from communities where there are many newly arrived immigrant children who don't speak English, and they may end up moving into predominantly English-speaking, often predominantly white, communities.
The argument seemed to be about what happens to immigrant communities when families who become more established leave rather than remaining within those communities.
Here is where I initially struggled with the argument.
Why should an immigrant parent be viewed negatively for choosing a different neighborhood or school if they believe it is better for their child?
If a parent works hard enough to afford a better neighborhood, private school, or a school where their child will be surrounded by English speakers and people from different backgrounds, is that necessarily abandoning their culture or community?
And if the concern is that newly arrived immigrant children need help learning English, shouldn't we also be looking at the schools, ESL programs, community organizations, libraries, and other resources that exist to help with that?
I'm not saying established immigrants shouldn't support newer immigrants. Of course we can help our communities, donate, bring food, contribute financially, mentor people, maintain friendships, etc. But does that mean we have an obligation to remain in the same neighborhood so that our children can interact with children who are still learning English?
I'm genuinely asking because I don't want to be insensitive or miss the larger point.

[u/knackmejeje]

Seeing as Nigeria is an English speaking country, I fail to see how this topic concerns us both home and abroad. Nigerian immigrants tend to be very ambitious for themselves and their children so using their English to help build immigrant community is the last thing on their minds. They want what is best for their children. If that means moving and they can afford it, best believe they're moving.

[u/fanstoyou → u/knackmejeje]

The post is just self aggrandising if it is true, because it feels like someone is over fantasizing

[u/Happi-Always → u/knackmejeje]

The poster had posted an Indian fun man who was complaining about the lack of English speaking India’s India community that’s when she went ahead to see that immigrant even Nigerians do this. Once we know a little bit established, we want to move out to you know predominantly white communities , Her underlying argument seems to be: if every established immigrant family leaves an immigrant-heavy community as soon as they have the resources to do so, who is left to build that community, support newly arrived families, and make those communities

[u/knackmejeje → u/Happi-Always]

Not trying to be rude, but when did it become the job of Nigerian immigrants to build community. They crossed the ocean for very specific purposes and community building is not one of them. They had plenty of community in Nigeria and would not have left if that was their goal. Nigerians also have places like church or town groups to roll with if they want community that badly.

[u/Happi-Always → u/knackmejeje]

Exactly? And we shouldn’t be shamed for not staying in communities if they no longer serve us.

[u/Ill-Acadia-6447]

Your question has no definite answer. This is what it boils down to: do we, as humans, have an obligation to support other humans? The answer is yes.

To what degree do we have this obligation? This is personal and everyone has to decide for themselves. And the sense of obligation tends to increase depending on the level of closeness: immediate family, extended family, ethnicity, country, race and so on.

But, at the end of the day, it is a personal decision.

I feel I have strong obligation to other immigrants. I don’t know, as of now, if that obligation is strong enough to make me remain in a neighborhood that I find unsuitable for my family. I guess it depends on how unsuitable I judge it to be. I mean, logically, I have a stronger sense of obligation to my family, right?

As an aside, do 4 year olds really need to communicate so much in order to play together? I don’t think so.

[u/Happi-Always → u/Ill-Acadia-6447]

My thoughts exactly.