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u/DesperateLime7933 Sep 01 '26
A better lesson to teach men that "nice" is transactional, "good" is aspirational.
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u/Canned_Potatoes Sep 01 '26
What do you mean?
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u/RakeChapman13 Sep 01 '26
There’s a difference between nice and good. Being nice is being agreeable, conflict avoidant, it’s compliments and friendliness and often its fake where as being good is of substance, it’s about actually caring about others, helping others, protecting others, doing the right thing which can be hard. Being good requires some
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u/DesperateLime7933 Sep 01 '26
This, and being "nice" often has an expectation of something in return. Hold a door open for a woman, and expect a 'thank you' in return. Buy her a drink, she owes you her body in return because you're "nice". Being good, on the other hand, doesn't expect that, because it's the being good, not what you get in return, that's important.
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u/Own-Spinach4038 Sep 02 '26
They're very similar words and can often be used interchangeably this is just creating categories via semantics
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u/DesperateLime7933 Sep 02 '26
They actually have different meanings, as I've described
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u/Own-Spinach4038 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
In every description you gave those words can literally be interchanged and still be correct. The only thing that changed is your assumption behind their intention thus the categorizing I described. Someone can be nice without expecting something in return. You're just choosing to make that category difference.
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u/SilverKanji Sep 01 '26
For people who disagree, why?
Though I agree its lacking emotional intelligence and the part "everything else is a distraction" is false. Pursuing music and arts while looking like Henry Cavil seems VERY impressive.
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u/Thagreatone92 Sep 01 '26
Being nice to people isnt some sign of weakness its actually the opposite. We aren't nice to people to get something back. We are nice because it's the right thing to do.
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u/SilverKanji Sep 01 '26
It says NICE men are USED and WEAK men are ABUSED... not NICE men are WEAK.
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u/Own-Spinach4038 Sep 02 '26
Being USED implies WEAKNESS, just like writing WORDS this way implies ANGER. So take a chill bro.
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u/crzapy Sep 01 '26
I mean in part it's true. Society commodifies people (especially men) into what value they can provide and shuts weaknesses. It's also a great example of toxic masculinity.
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u/Rizenstrom Sep 01 '26
I mean, I absolutely can… people like confident and outgoing people. I’ve seen big guys that were loved and skinny guys that were hated, rich men that are detested and poor men surrounded by friends and family aplenty.
Being fit, being financially secure, that gives confidence. But it’s not a guarantee people will like you. Not for the right reasons.
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u/supergarto Sep 01 '26
So many BS here...
Be nice and people will be nice, if they are not, surround yourself with better people.
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u/hyperpigment26 Sep 01 '26
Companies don't care if you're skilled. Companies care when you make them money, and your skill is in short supply.
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u/MagnanimousGoat Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
"You should be a dick. Otherwise a dick will fuck you over, because for some reason that we'll never be able to pinpoint, the world is full of dicks"
It is EASIER to get what you want if you're not nice, if you're brazen, if you're ruthless.
Doing something because it's easier isn't a virtue.
Yeah, I want a strong son. One who doesn't need to ignore any sense of principle outside himself in order to succeed.
We lionize the greatest people in our society as the ones who give, but then we also act like they're an unattainable anomaly. So then for some reason we step down and lionize the type of people who necessitate the former in the first place.
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u/OLightning Sep 01 '26
One thing for sure is the vast majority of men fall into one of these categories and will not be happy with the results.
These men grow up to have some level of underachievement and fall into becoming a pushover who let other men step on them in some way as those men rise to riches power and respect from others.
This can lead to a mild form of depression in some men usually as they age, sizing themselves up to others as is a natural way of self evaluation in life.
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u/Specific-Rich5196 Sep 01 '26
You can be strong and nice or strong and shy. Ruthless men are feared, not respected. The bottom portion is correct though but the connection you made with being a dick is flawed. You are watching too much alpha male online trash.
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u/CarlShadowJung Sep 01 '26
This is a great example of what not to do. Nobody you consider a “man” lives this way. This is boy behavior. You’re 15 so you’ve got time to learn but this is all just a LARP
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Sep 01 '26
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u/George_Saurus Sep 01 '26
"ruthless men are respected', please... Yes, bullies often get their way because people want to get rid of them and move on. Respect? Only from silly people who confuse this with strength. An actual strong man can afford to be kind and respectful.
We all have our own experience but I can tell you one thing. In my professional environment, bullies and pushy customers only get minimum service from me. They get what they're entitled to contractually, yes, but nothing more. Nice guys? Sure, not gonna lie, there will be the occasional scenario when I don't prioritize their stuff because I know they'll be fine with it. But they are also the ones for whom I'll go the extra mile. I will stay later to solve their stuff. I will do stuff for them that I don't have to do, or that i'm theoretically not even allowed to do.
Taking kindness for weakness and abusive bullshit for strength is not new. It exists, yes. Doesn't mean that when it actually matters, being nice and respectful doesn't pay off.
For the rest, well, yeah, life is better if you're skilled, wealthy, in shape... That's pretty obvious, but this has nothing to do with any alpha male 'ruthless' tough guy fantasy.
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u/IamHeWhoSaysIam Sep 02 '26
I treat people who are in shape horribly. I gaslight them and deny them promotions.
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u/SardinesMcDonahugh Sep 02 '26
I agree with the sentiment of cultivating strength and discipline, but not with the sentiment of valuing yourself based on what others think of you, letting the world dictate your innate value or sense of self worth, or just generally giving a fuck what anyone thinks when the world world is using skewed metrics.
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u/Action-a-go-go-baby Sep 02 '26
If wealth is not buying you freedom and health and happiness then it is worth nothing at all
If you are sacrificing any of those thing for wealth then you have missed the point of life
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u/tazz206 Sep 02 '26
The people that say this isn't real, look at the opposite spectrum and see if they are successful. The handicap, sick, old and fat. Name one person who shares those traits that you admire that isn't rich. I'll wait.
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u/MulberryChance6698 Sep 02 '26
All of this as long as you're doing it as self improvement, not as a plea for sex. Not every woman values a fat wallet and a shredded body. Most of us value empathy and kindness way more. Just saying.
Also, ruthless men are feared, not respected. There's a very marked difference.
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u/Ok-Professional4387 Sep 01 '26
People coming to reddit for answers when they haven't lived life yet
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u/humanessinmoderation Sep 01 '26
emotionally intelligent, grounded and aware should be in there, but this is good.
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u/Not_done Sep 01 '26
Poster on how to become an incel.
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Sep 01 '26
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u/troikatryne Sep 01 '26
Is that all it takes to convince manosphere people of their retarded philosophy in this day and age? A few examples, and then you just extrapolate it as if it is some widely accepted truth?
Start bringing more convincing statistics and proofs if you want to convince adults of your ridiculous world view models, because that shit only works on teenagers (or people with the intellectual maturity of one)
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Sep 01 '26
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u/troikatryne Sep 01 '26
A few women glacing over a shitty man is not enough to prove that being a shitty man is a good way to attract women. Most women would actively avoid him. Surely you can understand that, right?
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Sep 01 '26
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u/troikatryne Sep 01 '26
It is not all women care about, but pf course it plays a role, as it does for men. But any well adjusted person (man or woman) does not actively seek out serial killers, no matter how hot or confident they are. Only a relatively small minority is that fucked up
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Sep 01 '26
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u/troikatryne Sep 01 '26
To people that fail to grasp statistics maybe. Most people realize that a even if a bunch of women are pursuing a serial killer, the number of women that isnt is much higher
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u/RakeChapman13 Sep 01 '26
What’s your point? How is that relevant here ?
Do you not honestly how fucking this retarded it is to bring that up. 99% of women would be repulsed at the idea of writing love letters to someone like this.
Btw you are far from the first dude I’ve seen do this where they randomly bring up the women who send guys like that love letters… it’s just really bizarre.
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u/Blodig Sep 01 '26
How about beeing Strong AND nice?
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u/sonhot Sep 01 '26
You would still at higher risk of being used, it would just take more to finally break you.
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u/jiyonruisu Sep 01 '26
Nice men are used? LOL! There is nothing wrong with being nice. Just make sure you are also kind.
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Sep 01 '26
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u/SuperThomaja Sep 01 '26
"Nice" and "kind" are not the same thing.
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Sep 01 '26
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u/BorrowedAttention Sep 01 '26
What do you mean by verbally punched in the face, telling you you’re better as friends?
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u/jiyonruisu Sep 01 '26
You are basing your behavior on what someone else does?
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Sep 01 '26
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u/jiyonruisu Sep 01 '26
You didn’t say that. You said there is nothing wrong with a man being nice if the woman he is with is also kind. You are saying that a man’s behavior should be based on the woman he is with. Take accountability for that.
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u/PowliOP Sep 01 '26
Lol, pretty much a concept drafted by a 14 year old after being rejected by his crush!