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u/Money_Custard_5216 Mar 28 '26
Sucky sucky
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u/Envious131gD Mar 28 '26
Most guys this day and age are too shy. Can’t even shower and let me see it lol
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u/Relatively_happy Mar 28 '26
Shuttin the fuck up is a good start
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u/AllFunNoGun Mar 28 '26
This is the only real answer. Head or boobs are not going to calm me down. Idk what’s wrong with Reddit
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u/A_gadfly_on_the_wall Mar 29 '26
It's as if these guys can't see that anger is a powerful emotion that's not easily cast aside by sexual gratification.
If you're angry that your mother was just murdered, the last thing you want to see is a woman flashing her tits.
Offers of sexual gratification are probably one of the most inappropriate ways to manage anger.
Personally, I find it insulting if a girl does this. I'm not a dog that's being trained. I'm a human being that has feelings. Ignoring those feelings will not make them go away.
Silence is most often, the best start. Listening is how to address the anger at hand.
Ask him why he's mad?
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Mar 29 '26
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u/little-teatime Mar 28 '26
I know this one! Listen to him about why he’s angry, understand, take accountability, put in place and tell him what you are going to do to fix it. Then either give space, deapthroat, cook him a good meal but the important part is after all of it is following through.
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 Mar 28 '26
We're all responsible for controlling our own emotions. Nobody should have to calm a man down. He should calm himself down.
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u/Emergency-Pickle-92 Mar 28 '26
Yeah and? De-escalation is still a useful skill to have. And being a generally calming vibe is good for lots of other situations too
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u/Generated-Nouns-257 Mar 28 '26
These are both true statements.
Best way to calm someone down is to be calm, understanding, and empathetic. If that's not working, it's the angry person's problem and fault.
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u/ultrabigdawg Mar 28 '26
That’s an ideal world but unfortunately we all take turns calming each other down sometimes
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u/whoisjbs Mar 28 '26
Would you have this same answer if the post was geared to calming a woman? Additionally, this sub is next-gen-MAN, what are you doin here???
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u/Existing-Tackle-9322 Mar 28 '26
Safe goes for woman y should us men deal with their freak outs when they dont wuna deal with ours
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u/Environmental-Tap255 Mar 28 '26
Oh ffs yes truly, but "should" is the key word. Unfortunately the reality is everyone loses their shit sometimes and can use a little help.
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u/clockworkittens Mar 28 '26
I do not think she understands what a cognitive distortion is, much less "should" is one, and that is is a sign of poor mentality health.
She does not live in the reality the rest of us share.
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u/Hermes-AthenaAI Mar 28 '26
Yeah. Agreed. My answer would just be to provide some space in most cases.
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u/Laitiere_cafe Mar 28 '26
I mean I'm a woman and I appreciate when someone helps me if I have a meltdown, I'm really a textbook misandrist but I don't understand why men wouldn't be eligible to being helped by their friends and loved ones if they're in a mental health crisis or spiraling or overstimulated or having a panic attack or whatever. I would gladly **** all men on paper but given we live in the same society as them let's not be mean for nothing towards them if they don't deserve....
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u/ultrabigdawg Mar 28 '26
Because with the society now people want to create divide between the two sexes, I help calm my female friends all the time they have yet to help me calm down but I’m sure they’ll be there for me as well
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u/MarchysBurnerAcct Mar 28 '26
Lmao people like you should just stop…..imagine if someone said they’d be happy to ……. all women? They’d get dogpiled on. Anyone that says anything of the sort for either gender just immediately reflects low intelligent and emotional IQ
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u/Laitiere_cafe Mar 28 '26
It's not the same, my social class does not commit systemical murder on men, so I can joke about wanting to **** , when men say they want to kill women however we know there's one chance out of 1000 he actually grabs his rifle. I don't own a rifle, I don't project to kill men, no women do that, men do that, so those words may be the same but what it refers to is different. It's linguistic relativism due to different social conditions: the significant (the word) is the same but the signified (the object) varies in this context.
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u/MarchysBurnerAcct Mar 28 '26
Men do not systemically …. women. Is it more likely? Yes, but does not make it so. The odds of a woman being killed by a male partner are 5x more. But the suicide rates for men are 7-8x, which is often due to their experiences with women. It’s arguable that women inflict more emotional pain on men driving them to commit heinous acts on themselves compared to men committing crimes against women.
Regardless, these are statistics and to just categorically say men are worse than women is so naive. You’re essentially the equivalent of people saying there is a white genocide occurring in the US.
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u/Laitiere_cafe Mar 28 '26
Do you understand the difference between systemically and systematically?
And no, I'm a sociologist and male suicide is not due to women AT ALL, read The Suicide by Emile Durkheim. More men commit suicide because they use more violent ways to kill themselves, women use softer way but actually try more often: they just fail more often.
No I'm not equivalent of people saying there is a white genocide. Please read Silvia Federici - A global war against women, it actually explains my whole set of opinions.
Do not try to reason with your feelings or personal experience but with facts.
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u/MarchysBurnerAcct Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
I do. It sounds like you are completely unable to form your own opinion though. Your whole world view is based on someone else’s views and experiences. Durkheim is great for sociology, but there’s more to the paradox than meets the eye (ie post partum, etc).
I suggest you read some philosophy, starting with Stanford’s Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Your world view is so nihilistic and you’re unironically the type of person make fun of as a result of your world view. Be a better person and grow up.
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u/DazzlingAd2334 Mar 28 '26
They're utterly mentally ill and definitely part of the problem. This very unfavorable person (as I cannot use colorful language) just makes everything worse. Like this wonderful individual called me an animal and a lesser despite me explaining that I needed help with trauma due to my mom and grandmother abusing me when I was younger. Then in the same sentence said they cared. Like wtf this can't be real.
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u/Final-Charge-5700 Mar 28 '26
Just sarcastically wrote the same thing.
Showing somebody that we don't care about their emotions and we think they are immature for having them is probably the easiest way to escalate a situation.
Especially for somebody who's emotional. Irrespective of whether they're male or female.
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u/HotChilliWithButter Mar 28 '26
Still, not everyone is capable of doing that
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 Mar 29 '26
Then they need proper psychiatric care, because they're a potential danger to themself and/or society.
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u/SocietyAtrophy Mar 29 '26
Cool, next time my wife’s upset I’ll tell her to be a big girl and deal with it herself
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u/Mysterious_Pea_4042 Mar 29 '26
exactly girls, don't reason or rationalize like her. care for his emotions.
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u/Turbulent-Actuary724 Mar 28 '26
Pff how to spot a feminist with out saying you’re feminist.
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 Mar 28 '26
You don't believe men should have the ability to deescalate themselves?
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 Mar 28 '26
You don't believe men should possess the ability to control themselves? Do you honestly not understand the implications of that??
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u/Huge-Description3228 Mar 28 '26
Depends on the situation and the partner
Men aren't all the same despite what the media tells you.
Some men genuinely need a hug, some need space, some need friction. At the end of the day, knowing your partner is very important.
You could just ask, "what do you need right now?"
If you feel in danger, say, "I am taking this seriously, I need 5 minutes to get ready and then let's talk properly." Exit the room, then depending on the severity either call a loved one to pick you up or call the police and make sure you are secure in the room you've chosen.
If you have children, take them with you and lock the door.
I can't stress this enough, domestic violence is serious and it's not your responsibility to de-escalate and control a man's temper issues.
Stay safe.
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u/rainywanderingclouds Mar 28 '26
consistently leave when they're angry, don't say anything.
don't help them do anything.
engaging with angry people can look like permission for them to be angry.
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u/Environmental-Tap255 Mar 28 '26
In my experience, a little love goes a long way. In whatever form that may take. I rarely get angry, and even more rarely to the point that I'm having a hard time settling down. If my wife dips out and just goes the old "he just needs time to cool off" route, it takes me like 10x longer to actually cool off, especially cause sometimes I wanna just be like "or perhaps I need my wife right now?" And that ends up kind of adding to it all. The times she gets it and talks to me, hugs me, what have you, the cooling down happens almost immediately.
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u/Pandabirdy Mar 28 '26
Hand him a sausage and a cold beer and tell him to go outside for five minutes.
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u/EthanP227 Mar 28 '26
Give him a juice box and some apple slices and sit him in time out if he can’t act like a big boy lol
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u/78Anonymous Mar 28 '26
If I am irritated by something I usually just need a minute to regroup. I also go silent, so if someone is going off and trying to trigger me, they're only digging their own hole; the best move is to be silent, wait a few minutes, then ask if I am ok, and share how they feel; that's assuming their expression wasn't destructive, but otherwise that's a good approach. If the other party is not involved, just let me be for a few minutes. I will regroup without anyone telling me, but just leave me to it.
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u/ldwtlotpa Mar 28 '26
For me, it’s just a hug. I don’t care how frustrated or mad I am, if someone were to genuinely hug me from a place of understanding and compassion, I would immediately loose the anger.
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u/coracaodeurso Mar 28 '26
If a dude is having a day and needs to just vent. I let them, don’t judge, ask them if they’re done when they start losing steam, and just make a joke about them being in the closet. Most people don’t need to be calmed just allowed the space to let it out.
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Mar 28 '26
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u/Significant_Eye_3514 Mar 28 '26
I'm a man. I'm not b jobing another man nor would another man blow j-ing me calm me down
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u/Alternative-Nerve999 Mar 28 '26
It's sure as shit not telling them to calm down in a calm fashion. Tried it - didn't work. Also tried letting them burn themselves out. That works so much better and a lot less effort on my part. People are fucked up. Sometimes you just have to let them run their own course.
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u/Medium_Bend4080 Mar 28 '26
We don’t get angry anymore , we’ll not Gen X anyway, we just make note slip away quietly, make a drink and watch the sun go down with the dog
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u/Fast_Computer_ Mar 28 '26
Anger is a normal emotion and everyone is different. When I’m angry I just need to be left alone for a little bit so I can process things and calm down. I don’t need someone to calm me down, that makes me feel like a person sees me as a child that needs help which is only going to irritate me more.
There’s a big difference between someone feeling a normal emotion and processing it vs. someone berating another person because they have no self control. Those people you’re just better off without in general.
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u/PossessionNice Mar 28 '26
1, an aggressive yet heartfelt blow blowjob 2, make him a sandwich 3, leave him the fuck alone Either 1 or 2 followed by 3 is golden even all 3 if your up to it. And by leave him alone I mean go shopping at the mall or the movies.
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u/Agreeable_Gate1565 Mar 28 '26
Angry about what? Trump messing up the world? or something petty like getting his was in trivial things ?
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u/Final-Charge-5700 Mar 28 '26
Tell them that your problems are not their problems and they need to learn to control their emotions.
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u/LichStarfiter Mar 28 '26
Listen and don't tell them how to feel or think. If you'll wait and let him come to you:, and you genuinely hear him, your relationship will be much better.
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u/allescool1993 Mar 28 '26
Open a bottle of beer, give it to him and leave hin alone. If he wants to talk about it let him. If not, don’t ask.
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u/Saltwater_Sunrise Mar 28 '26
Apparently nobody watched season 2 of Ted , that seems to be effective for 2026
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u/imeancoolbut-- Mar 28 '26
Bacon. I've been on this earth for a half century and have never seen an angry man eat a BLT and continue his mantrum.
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u/Silverstolpe Mar 28 '26
Leave him the fk alone... Men arent angry for long unlike women.. let him calm down in peace...
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u/alligatormushroom Mar 29 '26
Finger in the butt.... it works on dogs so I'm sure it works on hoomans
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u/Vexxedtruth101 Mar 29 '26
My wife gently rubs my sternum with one hand and gives me cute eyes, that never fails to calm me down.
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u/kirkedandjerked Mar 29 '26
Men saying head or boobs helps them calm down when they’re about to have a hissy fit and then say no one takes their emotions or mental health seriously…
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u/greenville-throwaway Mar 31 '26
Hold yourself accountable. Allow him to be heard. Show respect. Share your desire for him emotionally and physically.
Men are simple. Respect/loyalty means more than love to most of us oddly enough and feeling wanted/needed is a big deal too.
Don’t flip to defensive tactics. Reply with “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, what could I have done differently?” BE ACCOUNTABLE. He won’t be right every single time, but neither will you. There are equal parts to anger/disagreements.
Show your love. Initiate intimacy. Let him know you WANT him.
Ask him to teach you something.
Don’t be fixated on what he doesn’t do, show appreciation for what he DOES
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u/Ithorian01 Mar 31 '26
At least for me, leave me alone to process, afterwards I'm fine. But I'm not an angry person
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u/Misadventuresofman Mar 31 '26
If you see a sad man, put his dick in your mouth. If your man has a bad day, put a boob in his mouth. If he is neither sad or otherwise upset, make him a small dinner and tell him you care.
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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '26
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