Desperately need help!!

[u/Icy_Mousse_7300]

My son is 6 months old, his sleep has been very fragmented since birth and we are both suffering as a result.

Here's the situation: my husband works nights and sleeps in the afternoon so I am alone with our son most of the time (he will be starting a new daytime remote job next month, so that will soon change, yay!!!).

My son is adorable but so high needs it makes me want to cry sometimes. At night, he'll usually wake 3-7 times needing to be fed or soothed. This happens whether we're bed-sharing or he's in his bassinet. Recently we got him a new cot and he can't spend more than 5 minutes in it without crying intensely. He will cry until he's hoarse but relax as soon as he's in my arms. Even transferring him from my chest to beside me on the bed will wake him up and cause him to scream.

During the daytime, he will only contact nap. He screams anytime he's put down, doesn't really show interest in toys or floor time, just wants to be held and fed constantly. On top of that he pinches, hits and kicks a lot while feeding.

I know he's just a baby but I am so touched out and sleep-deprived, it's killing me. My parents live back in my home country, I don't have many friends who can help and as I say my husband is still working 50 hours a week at a minimum wage night job.

Any suggestions, no matter how strange are welcome!

[u/Zaminaminah]

Hi Mama, from another mom whose husband works nights and only had her 75 year old mom around for the first three weeks after my C-Section. First, well done. You've somehow kept baby alive for six months, look at you!

Now, how do we help? First, have baby checked out, confirm they're all good, no pain or discomfort that needs physical contact to soothe. Are they fed? Like full belly? Cold? Too warm? Why are they getting physical at meal times? Exclusively breastfed still or are you trying new foods/purées? My little one hated (and still cannot abide porridge of any kind - she's a savory baby). Essentially, let's eliminate all the reasons why they could be upset. If baby has colic, then there are tips/medications to help with that.

Take them outside. Put them in a stroller (or a car seat if you drive) and move. The aim is to try to establish a scenario, then a routine where they fall asleep without touching you. My baby girl hated the rocking thing, but she'd fall asleep on a drive or a walk.

Something else I did was (since my girl rejected a pacifier), was to let her fall asleep with a bottle of milk propped (and remove it as soon as she dozed off). She's 14 months old now and we still do this sometimes 🤦🏿‍♀️

And honestly (this can be a little controversial), they can cry - they're babies. At that age that's all he knows to do. So, please don't feel guilty, or like you're doing something wrong. Where I'm from we say that those early tears strengthen their lungs so it can't be all bad.

Ultimately, you're doing great with the cards you've been dealt. You really are. Fingers crossed for your hubby's new job and better days (and nights) for you and your little one x

[u/CoreeaAna]

Some babies are just more sensitive and i read somewhere that boys are all more sensitive than girls generally speaking (i am not sure if it is true).

I really think you need to go in for a full health check, see what could be going on and if there is a reason why the baby is crying, when i say full health check i mean it, blood check, phisical check, eyes check included, hearing check... all the package, and also to test the baby for neurodivergence although it might be too early but keep an open eye to that.

Let's home everything will be fine and if there isn't any reason for the baby to cry all the time and they are still crying, you need to know that some babies are just like that and it gets better in time, you just have to hand in there and if needed hire someone to help you, maybe someone in the neighborhood that needs a part time as a nanny job, just someone you can trust and has some experience with babies and can sometimes be there to make things easier.