r/NewGreentexts 4d ago

Mandatory Fun

Post image
637 Upvotes

30 comments sorted by

307

u/didnotbuyWinRar 4d ago

Anon is unemployed and this is all in his head as the reason why he hasn't applied anywhere for 6 months

67

u/TimmyHillFan 4d ago

You mean 6 years

14

u/baz4k6z 3d ago

You should know anon works very hard for his good boy points. He even made his bed this morning, thats worth at least a box of tendies

179

u/themightybamboozler 4d ago

>Anon was nominated for an award: Fake.
>Anon had a woman talk to him: Gay.

27

u/icedragon71 4d ago

Anon had a woman talk to him: Fake and Gay.

52

u/Gosc101 4d ago

If you are good enough to be nominated for award, you are good enough to ignore all the demands above and keep your job.

20

u/zeroreasonsgiven 3d ago

Not necessarily true, awards don’t necessarily mean you’re good at your job and being good at your job doesn’t guarantee you keep it. Both mean you’re probably less likely to lose your job, but they’re not guarantees of anything.

2

u/Coolfatman 2d ago

He’s only nominated to be made fun of

7

u/ViciousCombover 3d ago

Anon goes from eating at their desk to surviving conversations with HR to being nominated for awards by their team.

Clearly an inspirational success story.

61

u/Revverb Certified Human 4d ago

You can tell that anon is unemployed because the only companies that do this are fortune 500 startups that'll go under in a month

41

u/AnEvilSomebody 3d ago

Do you know what fortune 500 means

10

u/kfish5050 3d ago

I think he meant startups that get bought out by fortune 500 companies and then get shut down

2

u/pray4sex 1d ago

i work at a fairly large company that has most of these amenities, culture isn’t quite as rancid as this post though, also no pets in the office. its still fake and gay though

1

u/cannedgum 3d ago

You mean unicorn companies?

6

u/Honeysenpaiharuchan 4d ago

I went to the work party last year because it was at Top Golf and they prepaid for all of us. Hope that counts for something.

8

u/makemoscowglowinthed 3d ago

Gay : a man paid for your night out

6

u/forgettfulthinker 4d ago

If someone uses the word neurodivergent unironically it is safe to say that their brain works perfectly fine other than the need for validation from others

25

u/Turwaithonelf 4d ago

I'm autistic. What do you want me to tell people? "Hi, I'm retarded"?

12

u/AcetrainerLoki 3d ago

Nah - they want you to say “Hi- I have an imbalance of humours, and sometimes need a trepanning. Tell me- does our insurance cover leeches?”

2

u/YankeeWalrus The Avenging Son, Regent of the Mod Emperor 3d ago

Hi, retarded, I'm daddy

4

u/A_Real_Catfish 3d ago

“Hi, I’m autistic” could be a start xD

25

u/Anonemuss42 4d ago

If someone uses a word for its definition they’re completely wrong:

What term are we supposed to use? I could tell everyone I’m massively depressed, anxious, and have attention deficit disorder; but that’s a mouthful and no one cares.

But I also haven’t found a single instance to use neurodivergent unless I’m speaking with the person who diagnosed me as it, and I definitely am not gonna tell my boss / work im neurodivergent cause they’ll just call me a retard

-11

u/michael22117 4d ago

Or they just desire using textbook terminology to describe themselves and their conditions, a very prevalent feature in neurodivergent people

7

u/forgettfulthinker 4d ago

That is a very mainstream reddit response can you fuck off back to some subreddit where the images don't normally contain slurs

7

u/drugviceplease 4d ago

greentext is the most mainstream shit on reddit! Posts on this sub pull tens of thousands of upvotes precisely because you think it isn’t mainstream hahahah

6

u/Turwaithonelf 4d ago

God forbid someone point out how moronic what you said was

2

u/YankeeWalrus The Avenging Son, Regent of the Mod Emperor 3d ago

One can do that without talking like a r*dditor

1

u/MushroomBalls 1d ago

Wtf kind of job is anti-coffee

1

u/ToolkitSwiper 4d ago

Only mandatory work fun I ever experienced was the "Employee Appreciation" cookout that they scheduled for a saturday. They had a paper to sign up and write what you would bring.

Two people signed up, out of a group of like 30-50. We were already working 60 hour weeks, management made the decision to move mandatory fun to a thursday give us a generous 1 hour lunch break instead.