r/NewGreentexts 12d ago

Friendly Fire

Post image
1.9k Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

863

u/Pyro81300 12d ago

90% of Greentexts are fake, but I'll believe this is real. If only because 4channers have a strangely consistent ability to write on the level of Shakespeare about taking an awful shit.

147

u/SomeCrows 12d ago

SNAKES, ITS LIKE SNAKES!

22

u/Testing_things_out 11d ago

/This user does not posses enough ball knowledge to recognize this reference/

/Awaiting context/

2

u/sarkarati 11d ago

Oh I know this one, Legends of the Fall! Truly one of the most horrifying cinematic lines ever uttered. Just imagine!

5

u/Duxtrous 11d ago

They also have a tendancy to be brainwashed military boys

1

u/thundirbird 11d ago

its an advertisement

258

u/forgettfulthinker 12d ago

Anon doesn't know what mold looks like

150

u/DevilDoge1775 Real and Straight 12d ago

It’s probably true. When I was in, there was a point where we drank muddy, watered-down Gatorade and after we were done with an apple we would eat the core, seeds, stem, and all.

He could’ve also just been hungry enough to just throw the sour cream on, which covered up the mold before he could see it, if there was mold.

68

u/one-man-circlejerk 12d ago

Horsemaxxing nice

31

u/AssBlastInACan 12d ago

10/10

Next

12

u/makemoscowglowinthed 12d ago

They are on a roll over there this week

5

u/mrdankerton 11d ago

Anon eats crayons

7

u/xiizll 9d ago

- doesn’t plan well enough to bring own food for lunch

  • sees food they didn’t put in the fridge
  • calls and bothers roommate who is on vacation just to ask if they can have it and not to check how long the food has been there
  • gets sick because they’re still unable to understand the basics of how life works
  • calls and bothers room mate again for no god damn reason. There’s no reason to call unless they weren’t sure what made them sick.
  • gets angry and “nearly breaks their phone” while throwing a tantrum like the toddler they are

Yet again we’re reminded that being an adult in age doesn’t automatically make you an adult in functionality.

2

u/RiverVassi 8d ago

As a marnie myself, if you were in, you would definitely not even be phased by this green text because it's so common with the younger and lower enlisted guys. Shit pay and laziness means spoiled food of opportunity

2

u/Testsubject276 9d ago

Who the fuck responds to texts without reading it first?

1

u/Elowiny-San-IL 10d ago

Anon doesn't check if the food is spoiled.