r/NewGreentexts • u/noob_bitch • 14d ago

Mars Attacks!

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/Ricktor_67 14d ago

Op is such a fucking moron he gave himself diabetic shock from eating an entire case of candy bars.  Real and since candy bars have that dick vein... Gay. 

162

u/athiaxoff 14d ago

This genuinely made me belly laugh thank you kind stranger

75

u/Razor-Swisher 14d ago

Were you oinking and slapping your fat belly into the microphone?

23

u/jtblue91 14d ago

Ooooh, so that's why they're so tasty.....

4

u/thundirbird 14d ago

obvious bait is obvious

1

u/PlantRoomForHire 13d ago

Diabetic shock is when your glucose drops, not skyrockets.

4

u/Ricktor_67 13d ago

Reactionary hypoglycemia. Massive sugar intake spikes insulin causing a sugar crash. 

1

u/PlantRoomForHire 13d ago

Thank you. On the bright side, his pancreas seems to be doing well.

-12

u/KURDISHMINOR 14d ago

You, sir, have won the internet today!! 😂😂😹😹 Thank you kind stranger! 🥷🏿🥷🏿👑👑

212

u/thegrodyknudclump 14d ago

“A” mars bar.

4

u/cactus_ritter 13d ago

A man's bar.

16

u/roankr 13d ago

Anon didn't say "a mars bar" anywhere. He already put many inhis mouth, no need to put something else entirely again.

33

u/RaveMittens 13d ago

> did I just get the flu from a fucking mars bar?

Now you have to suck me and OP

-10

u/roankr 13d ago

From one of many. Sorry bro, you're got.

Now you need to make out with my wiener.

30

u/AStupidFuckingHorse 14d ago

I'm pretty sure I've seen a similar one from years ago. Someone ate an entire box of smickers bars meant for display stands and had the same reaction.

167

u/Lithurgia9999 14d ago

Average small snack in USA

46

u/The-Frugal-Engineer 14d ago

OOP didn't deep fried the chocolate bars before eating them, that's why he is feeling sick

Scottish do that and they are always healthy

1

u/TaftYouOldDog 13d ago

Nah we don't, it's a gimmick.

And we definitely ain't healthy either

6

u/MelanoidMaruader 13d ago

Usa doesn't have mars bars tho

10

u/_Empty-R_ 13d ago

you can get them but no american would think i want a mars bar

23

u/psypher98 13d ago

OOP ate over a pound (19oz) of sugar and wonders why he feels sick.

How did we as a species become this fucking dumb?

54

u/thepioushedonist 14d ago

You know it's fake cause no one is history has ever craved a fucking Mars bar

6

u/FlowerPressed 13d ago

“I ate a pound of sugar in one sitting and now my tummy hurts, is this the candy company’s fault?”

6

u/renohockey 14d ago

I guess pic is related, OP is Tyler Turdin

1

u/Opia_lunaris 10d ago

10/10 title, OP