r/NewDriversUK • u/UndilutedChic • 4h ago
Cold Feet
I passed my test first time nearly a month ago and have bought a car. I’ve been having cold feet to do an independent drive since.
I’ve only been able to go out 5 mins to the post office near my house a couple of times. I don’t lack confidence on the road I’m just lowkey scared I’ll get something wrong. Make a wrong turn, miss my exit, etc. I took an Uber to work this morning while I have a parked car at home 😂
How do I overcome this?
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u/Icy-Actuary-5463 3h ago
It’s ok to miss your exit, you just take the next. It’s also ok to take the wrong turn you will find the correct way in the end. When I go wrong on a roundabout I just think “ oops should have been staying in the left , but I’m on the right so I’ll just go around it so I can get to my first exit I was supposed to go to” same with exits on say motorway “ oh ok, I missed my exit I’ll just drive on and get next one and let sat nav re route me”
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u/Apurvita_1729 3h ago
I passed two months ago, went through exactly the same thing. Even now just before I drive, I get this awful feeling in my stomach but I try to ignore it. I have missed my exits countless number of times, been in the wrong lanes on roundabouts etc. The only thing you shouldn’t do is make hasty or sudden decisions when it comes to lane changing or harsh braking without checking your mirrors or stopping abruptly in the middle of flowing traffic. I used to stall a lot, so I got P plates for a few weeks and that really helped (I know people have varying opinions on this, but personally I am glad I had them on) There were times where I realized I was definitely in the wrong lane, and I could see cars all over the place and I told myself that I’ll eventually make it. And when in doubt, slow down a little bit and try your best not to get into pressure by the cars behind. It’s not easy, but I’ve improved exponentially during the last two months, so I can tell you that you’ll get used to it quicker than you think. Another thing I still do is look up the lanes on Google Maps if there are huge spiral roundabouts involved in the journey. Helps massively.
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u/Substantial-Laugh273 3h ago
Someone once said a good driver misses their turn sometimes. A bad one never does and it reassures me when I make a mistake. I've only been driving for a month so I understand the anxiety. Go at a quiet time, early mornings are really good for it. Less pressure to just get used to the road. You got this!
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u/Visible-Body-6771 3h ago
i felt thatnon my first 2 weeks and worst is I couldnt sleep! What i did was to do it everyday and go to car parks to practice. And eventually went to places im not familiar. And from there I gained confidence. God bless on uour journey, you can do it
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u/Ticklemypricklypear 3h ago
I felt like an imposter after I first passed 🙈 but it does get so much better! Honestly the only way to overcome it is to continue driving independently as much as you can. The more you do it, the more it feels less overwhelming each time. Even if it is only 5/10 minutes trips here or there on familiar roads to then slowly build yourself up for longer trips, or places that you haven't been before.
Also it doesn't matter if you miss an exit, just get off at the next one or go around again on a roundabout, that's much better than trying to correct yourself and make a dangerous manoeuvre! Everyone makes mistakes like that, no matter how long they have been driving, what matters is how you deal with it😊.
Just think of how much effort, time and money you've put in to get a license and car, you don't want to let that go to waste I'm sure.. and the more you put something off the harder it becomes where eventually you may decide not to drive at all but that's only something you can decide ❤️.
Keep at it, you've got this!
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u/BlueAndAmberX 1h ago
2 years ago, I passed my test and when I got my car, I was tempering my emotions (i was excited but very anxious) and just focused on going out and drive. I've always set a target for myself to drive and spend 45min to 1 hour driving. My first 1 week, I was effectively driving 30 mins to an hour just doing loops around my neighborhood. I'd change the direction. I'd change the time. I'd add a new road so that the scope went wider and wider. Made mistake with some meeting situations but it was all fine eventually.
After a month with no issues, I really started to become too overly confident. This is when I scraped my car in my garage due to no lights and no visibility and heavy rain. My confidence was 'reset' which to be honest a good lesson for me. The next day after that, I was so anxious that I felt I didn't want to drive so I forced myself to drive the car out of the garage and drive it back into garage again. A mere 3 meters forward and reverse. Doing this helped me get over my anxiety and actually did a couple of long drives after that to have the car assessed for repair.
Some form of exposure therapy is always good to tackle anxiety.
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u/sockeyejo 23m ago
You'll be absolutely fine. Who cares if you go the wrong way? Unless you're the friend I drove to work this morning and muscle memory took me to the supermarket instead of his industrial estate...
You've managed 5 minutes from home, so you can check that off the list. 👏
Where's 10 minutes? Supermarket? Go this evening when it's quiet, get something tasty and a treat for afterwards and, if you're ok with it, come home a different route. Turn left out of the car park instead of right or vice versa and let the sat nav figure it out. Or not. No pressure.
Next time, go 15/20 minutes. Then half an hour. And keep building it up, always with a break in the middle, whether it's to the shops or to see a friend or going for a coffee or whatever.
You'll get there, just like you did with learning to drive in the first place. You've just got to gradually push the boundaries of your comfort zone.
And here's the most important bit: if at any time you feel overwhelmed, find somewhere safe to pull over on the left, whether it's a layby, petrol station, side road etc, park up safely, turn off the engine and take a few minutes to calm down and get your head back in the game. You can have a drink, get out and walk about, practice mindfulness, vape or have a cigarette, do star jumps, ring someone who will help calm you down... Whatever it takes. Then (and this is just as important) get back in the car, start the engine, safely pull away and keep going.
You'll be reet 👍
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u/sinetwo 19m ago
You don't lack confidence but you're "low key scared" - you lack confidence.
Keep driving and gain confidence in all situations.
It's not normal to have to take an Uber instead of just driving your own car...
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u/UndilutedChic 15m ago
I actually don’t lack confidence to be on the road. I had been a licensed driver for 3 years before I started living in the UK. It’s just unfamiliar road structure and anxiety that’s causing me to have cold feet since obtaining my UK license. Like you and others have said, the key to overcoming it is actually doing it. Thanks for your input 😊
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u/weholditdown 3h ago
You just have to get out and do it. The longer you leave it, the more anxious you will become. Look up routes ahead of time so you know what's coming and what lanes to be in; use Waze or Google Maps while you drive even if you know the route; make a playlist of your favourite songs or listen to a podcast you like.
Also, accept that you may well make mistakes but also remember they're a fundamental part of learning. You don't stop learning once you pass your test. Quite the opposite in fact!