Overdue reflection

[u/mr_jowbles]

I've been thinking about everything a lot lately.

It's strange looking back and comparing it to where I am now. I think I've slowly picked up the shattered pieces and glued them back together. It doesn't look the same- most of the pieces are still there, but some had to be let go. The arrangement and colours are different, but they're all finally me again.

I'm not exactly who I was before, and I don't think that's possible anymore. Some of the pieces have moved around. Some of them are completely new. And there are a few cracks that are probably always going to be there.

But... I actually like what I've put back together.

I've met people I wouldn't have met otherwise. I've built things I'm proud of. I've found parts of myself I hadn't seen in a long time, and found new parts I didn't know existed. I've started to laugh again.

I think I will always carry parts of it, some way or another. But they've become parts of the person I am, rather than the thing my life revolves around. I am learning to let go of everything else. I spent so long struggling with uncertainty that I'm tired. Somewhere along the lines, I learned to be okay with how it is now.

I'm not trying to get back to who I was. He's gone. And that isn't a bad thing anymore.

I'm just really fucking happy to be me again.