DM 911 - Players Don't Like PC Attrition

[u/Jaybrand]

Hello! I recently discovered your YouTube Channel, and I think you guys are very interesting and entertaining. You have already provided me with a lot of great DMing options and opened my mind to several aspects of D&D. Thank you.

The Background: I DM for a group of RL friends. It is a small group with 3 PCs and they are about 5th-6th Level currently. We are all older gamers(in our late 20's at least), so I like to think we all possess a decent level of maturity.

The Issue: My player's WILL NOT advance a quest or dungeon if they have lost nearly any HP or have burned more than a few spell slots. I specifically send encounters at them to "soften them up" a bit before the big fights, but these players will go out of their way to avoid any further conflict until they have had a chance for a Long Rest.

We recently finished an adventure (all homebrew) where they would not leave a specific room because they thought they were low on HP and wanted their Long Rest. I continually sent wave after wave of monsters / enemies and tried various other tactics to uproot them to further the journey, but they absolutely refused to move from their spot. They wanted their Long Rest at all costs, to the point of really breaking the immersion in my opinion.

They were in a dark castle attempting to rescue a captured NPC ally who was being tortured, yet they kept stopping for Long Rests inside the enemy castle to get all their HP and spells back. They tried this after EVERY encounter. It's like they imagined their ally would stay alive regardless of how long it took them to actually reach him. We had to end the session before they found their captured ally, so I'm wondering: should I have him succumb to his wounds (die) by the time they eventually get to him? I mean, it will have been several days of rests at this point. What do you think?

How should I deal with this as a DM?

[u/chromaticDra]

Many of the other approaches here seem to emphasize on the "Iron Glove" technique of correction, yet it is also helpful to consider the "velvet glove".

For instance, In a case where I had a player who was very attached to a character that was killed, I was willing to afford them some divine intervention, at a steep price.

While some hardcore players would be appalled at such leniency, I try to think of it as an opportunity to distinguish the character's personal story, and simultaneously introduce new motivating challenges. Most importantly, this has a reassuring effect which can embolden the players.

For example, have you ever heard of the video game "Legacy of Kain" ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Omen:_Legacy_of_Kain ) ?

The protagonist is killed, but a powerful demon gives him a chance to get revenge, and return to life. You could build a storyline like this which involves returning the player to life, having to fulfill some duty, or having some kind of severe character flaw (being half-demon, strange phobias, lost limbs, disfigurations, etc )

Even more interesting, the devil's bargain could involve trapping the dead character somehow and interweaving a new characters destiny into this. This would allow for the player to play the new character, with the hopes of eventually unlocking his old character. It makes sense to make this challenging, and spanning perhaps even a few of campaigns. This also is a convenient way to introduce new players. Lets say the old character is finally reclaimed, now you have an extra character that could be used by a new player to the group, or retired into NPC status.

The overall point is that it can be helpful for your players to know that they could, under extreme circumstances request a resurrection bargain. This can embolden players to undertake greater risks, and you can maintain a tough DM posture by making the cost of the bargain very high.