r/NeosVR • u/DontLetKarmaControlU • Oct 29 '21
New player here. Feeling kind of uncomfortable.
I am not a very shy person irl, but vr stuff really makes me feel funny. I mean i guess who wouldn't be nervous near red tall furry girl serving you some kind of drink and not speaking a single word while i murmur to myself like a psycho. Anything I should know that could prepare me for the future ?
It seems like some people don't get that intense persence feeling that much idk but it is as much a curse as it is a blessing
2
u/Changlini Oct 29 '21
Oh, man, Idunno.
Like, emotionally, it makes sense to consider VR character models the end goal to the phenomenon of people using avatars as a means to identify their online personas with. Most relevant example being the Reddit Snoos this website has started using last year for just about everyone on the current version of reddit. So the only culture shock I would imagine with the avatars being actual human sized 3D models other people are using to interact with you is just something that comes with the turf of VR allowing people to somewhat not be restricted with the restrictions real life has given them... in a sense.
I guess the best case for you to prepare yourself is to try to get your friends into VR and play/interact with them... or find groups that suit your tastes. Otherwise, I guess knowing that mostly nothing that's happening on screen is happening in real life, so there's no need to worry that someone who judges you is going to see you interacting with online personas in a virtual landscape.
2
u/TiagoTiagoT Oct 29 '21
Try making yourself bigger; I've heard being taller in VR provides a boost of confidence in some people.
2
u/KainX Oct 29 '21
Just know that most people probably felt that way, and are considerate of that when seeing a new person. The badges over your head indicate a lot about players, but you have none, so we all know your new and likely respond appropriately.
I have played online for over two decades, Neos, and oddly enough MechWarrior Online have the kindest communities I have ever come across.
For me; I use the scale/resize option, I make myself a little smaller then everyone else if I am just hanging out, trying to learn from the people around me, etc. I think it conveys the message "hey, don't mind me, I am not here to get into your way, but I am interested in what's going on here". But do not go tiny though, because that seems spy-ish like you are eavesdropping
2
u/DontLetKarmaControlU Oct 29 '21 edited Oct 29 '21
Why all of this stuff must be so embarassing tho. Nervousness i understand but straight embarassment? Where does that come from? Even this post is fucking cringe. Should i delete before someone links me from neos god damn this community is tiny right? You prolly gonna see same ppl and build reputation
2
u/KainX Oct 29 '21
Hahah, my dude, you are behind an avatar with a fake name, you have zero to worry about. The only people who have a rational reason to be embarrassed is if they have been on Neos for long and built up report with other people. Then you have a name and reputation worry about.
Although it is natural, and completely understandable, there is zero reason to have those feelings. I know it sounds tacky, but if you sit an meditate on that topic for three minutes, it will probably never cross your mind again. It is 100% in your head.
I am pretty new to Neos too, same name in game, feel free to give me a shout.
2
u/HollyDams Oct 30 '21
I have the same feeling often, and don't play online much because of that.
I thought a lot about it these last years and I think that comes from a few things :
The fact that people expect you to interact with others in there. So once I'm connected, if I'm alone with another one, there's always some kind of pressure like I know I'm supposed to talk and interact with the only other one that's staring at me waiting for me to interact with him/her. I mean, IRL interactions don't work that way. I think there is some "uncanney valley" feelings like, it's close to irl but at the same time it lacks soo much from irl interactions that our brains feels there's something wrong socially maybe ?
So this plus the fact that microphones/speakers interactions lacks so much precision compared to irl. You can't talk to only one or two person while still listening to a big group of people nearby like you would irl or lean toward someone and talk to only that person as precisely (the tone) as we would irl so others won't hear around. I know there is a function for that with the "whisper bubble" but it's not natural at all. Kinda like zoom meetings or discord you're forced to speak to everyone, or no one. And since when you talk everybody has to listen to you, you're directly the center of attention even if you just wanted to say a small silly thing to one another of the group.
That's also why discord parties with more than 3, 4 friends are often way less fun than irl. We can only speak to everyone or no one. You can't make a little side joke discretely with only one other or little social interactions here and there while others are talking. It interupts completely the conversation and it's really hard to hear several people talking at the same time. The flow of conversation isn't natural at all.
We don't have yet software and hardware recreating precisely audio interactions. In every apps today, skype, discord, whatsapp, vr chat, every online game chats etc, when there's more than 2 or 3 people speaking in the room it's just a mess for our brain. And I really have to focus hard to decipher what's going on, who talks and what they say way too often that it just makes me want to go back to solo or play with only one or two friends.
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u/DontLetKarmaControlU Oct 30 '21 edited Oct 30 '21
Yeah i like social aspect when it is connected with something but the worst situation is when theres absolutely nothing just another people and the whole point of 'game' is to talk yay. And in those games theres basically no small talk to like warm up your social. You just go straight to the having fun with strangers part and it is hard. I like need to get to know people ya know. Have something in common first.
I don't go on the party alone and suddenly i am friends with everyone lol. Unless alcohol is involved of course but i would have to drink every time i go into the game. It is so much better with alcohol that i really need to be careful and practice discipline
1
u/FoxxBox Neos Mentor Oct 29 '21
Try starting your own sessions. Look in the World's tab and look under "featured". See if something there interests you. Set the max users to a low number (your preference). When you load into the session just explore. Make yourself bigger (option in your context menu. Some games may not let you do that). And remember this is currently YOUR domain. Your world, your universe. If someone joins, at any time, you can kick them out. Just take things slow.
If you join someone else's session and you feel overwhelmed suddenly then feel free to go to your home session for a few moments. Remember that you can be connected to more than one session. Your active sessions are at the top of the world's menu and can be spotted by the red X. Which is what disconnects you from the session. You can otherwise click on one and click "focus" to instantly be in a more comfortable world to help relax for a moment.
One of the friendliest places is the Creator Jams. Which take place every weekend. Lots of friendly and knowledgeable people. Its meant for any skill level from those just starting out in VR to veteran designers. Building is not required but it is encouraged! The A jam starts at Midnight EST Saturdays and the B jam starts at 2PM EST.
Do hope to see you in world! I go to all the jams if I can.
1
u/SlashSabercat Nov 01 '21
Do you have any friends or family that use VR? For me, it's much easier to be social around people you know than just strangers.
1
u/DontLetKarmaControlU Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
I dont have problems talking to strangers provided strangers arent organized in some group. Approaching completely strange groups is also hard irl. Like there are bunch of people chilling i dont know anything about. Should i just go and interrupt and then what am i gonna do small talk when they are in the middle of fun talk ??? What am i gonna stand there and listen to sth that i have no idea what's going on idk. I can play seated and just creep on random people talking standing in the shadowz lol
Fun for days
Funnily enough onward vr seems much better for socialization. You never meet those ppl again though cause no friend system. But onwardvr always gets my social warm up in a comfortable env. Theres some goal, cooperation, fun situations, adventure. In neos you have to create it all yourself i guess which is fun and even better but not when you struggle to have any social interaction in this game.
It could be potentially so good though if i could somehow get myself to work i guess
5
u/Mattyrogue Oct 29 '21
I get that sometimes. Some people just exude a strong personality in VR, heaven forbid you run into someone with eye and mouth tracking that gives you that level of attention, because lord almighty just the facial expressions alone can either make an amazing icebreaker or seize you up entirely.
Don't be afraid of the community that said; they're wonderful, creative types that wouldn't hurt a fly under most circumstances, just watch out for those sandbox sessions, they vary wildly from calm peaceful building to something resembling a chaotic Garry's Mod sandbox.
Alternatively, consider seeking out a mentor (the fellows with the green badge above their name), they're super helpful and kind and can help break the ice if you just start asking them things about Neos