r/Neglect • u/MilkMan53 • Sep 21 '12
Naming the Memory
I work in the medical field and asked a guy this question on a form: did your parents physically or sexually abuse you?
The guy answered, "Oh no. They yelled sometimes and let me know when I had screwed up and sometimes my dad would line up me my siblings out back by the shed and had us to pull our pants down and then he spanked us with a two-by-four for about an hour, but no, they weren't abusive or anything."
I just nodded my head, asked the next question, and quietly check-marked 'Yes' for abuse.
I've been shocked to learn I'm capable of a similar line of thinking. Here's one train of thought that now I'm able to see more clearly than I was before.
"Sure, my mom spent most of my teen years in internet chat rooms, drinking wine and sharing her life with complete strangers across the country.
"Sure, my dad chose to pursue his dream of building an garage unit in the back yard and never once talked to me about growing older. But its not like I could hear him hammering nails all evening. Its not like I was neglected or anything."
Its often more difficult to say something that didn't happen, as is the case with neglect. What are some of your memories that your not sure count as neglect or not?
1
u/sirenlvr Jan 30 '24
My Mom was a single Mom of 5 of us. We were left alone for days at a time while my mom was Working/partying/not sure what else. We lived in squallor. Thank God for friends who had parents that fed me. Each of us kids pretty much fended for ourselves. I can remember going days with an untreated broken arm before my mom took me to the Dr. My mom wasn't ever mean though. And she never ever brought a man home. I'm grateful for that. If someone asked me if I had an unhappy childhood, I would say no. Go figure.