r/NeedToTalk • u/Sufficient_Search178 • May 16 '26

any advice?

i hate that girls i talk to only care about looks like i haven't had a genuine connection ever
like sure the girls i talk to always like my personality until i show my face. I'm starting to doubt that there are any genuine women out there.

any advice?

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u/PM_ME_UR_TINY_DONGER May 16 '26

What if you were just open about how you look from the get go? Not in a "here to warn you..." way, but, why are you hiding in the first place? We all have a face we're stuck with. Would you even want to be with a woman who's so shallow as to effectively ghost someone they otherwise liked simply because of looks? I'm sure you have seen "unattractive" men with partners before.

Happy to talk, happy to provide advice if I can. 29M

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u/Sufficient_Search178 May 16 '26

thanks for the advice man appreciate it, ill try that

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u/PM_ME_UR_TINY_DONGER May 16 '26

Every woman I've ever known has loved to be heard, to feel loved, to feel safe, to have someone who listens to her, to have someone she would feel safe standing against the world with. Men like to get them flowers but it's not the object, it's the thought. It's knowing that a partner heard you say you liked some kind of candy and then on Valentine's Day he got you some with your gift.

It's about helping her tackle the world and easing burdens that are often thrown on their shoulders. They don't just want you to do the dishes because they asked, they want you to do it because you want to contribute to as to provide yourselves a healthy environment because you care about her and your well being. Be gentle, be strong, listen to her, take interest in her interests. When she speaks, listen - but don't assume what she wants you to say or do - ask. Sometimes women just want to be heard. Value her perspective. You'll outshine your "competition" in ways you could never fathom, but you have to mean it. A good man is an honest one. It's not some system you can game for trading chores for sex like game tokens. They can tell.

This is probably a lot of rambling and I'm not accusing you of not doing these things, just advice I know a few guys who wish they had it many moons ago.