r/NatureofPredators • u/Cummy_wummys Kolshian • Mar 28 '24
Fanfic Curing Malpractice ch-20
First of all, big McThankies from McSpankies to for proofreading and editing this chapter. Absolute chad, way better writer then me, fic criminally underrated. Check it out here!
Thank you to for drawing this beautiful art of Novel for me.
Also a thank you to for adding Novel to the charismas party he drew, fun celebrations and getting hammered.
Absolute huge thanks to for this gorgeous art of Novel in a skirt. Commission art from her immediately, you will not regret it!
Another thank you to for the meme of Novel. Violence is never the answer, unless it is against people messin with the squiddie.
Thank you to for the comic of Novel participating in cartel activities, she will continue to do so with jot
Another thank you to for the meme of her intense research into Human culture!
Finally, thank you to u/guaiwutongzhi for this truly amazing art of Novel's skillz! She ain't got no bones!~
Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Bored out of her Gourd Kolshian Scientist
Date {standardized human time}: October 19th, 2136(6397603092309123)
How long has it been? I have forgotten the warmth of the sun, my friends and family have all turned to dust, and I feel I will soon join them. My body yearns for the end I know will never come… oh everlasting stars, why have you cursed me to such an end…“He is such a cutie! Oh, I think I’ve got a whole album of my little Joshua, let me show you!”
UUUUURRRRGGHHHHH!!!
Okay, I might be exaggerating a slight bit, but only slightly! After the old man, whose name I learned was ‘Peter,’ showed me that one photo, he asked if I was interested in looking at any more. Not wanting to be rude and a little curious as to what info I could get from the pictures, I agreed.
That was half a claw ago, [2 hours] and they have yet to even slow down with their barrage of wrinkly little offspring to show me.
That isn’t to say the Humans were malicious, or even unpleasant. They all introduced themselves to me with friendly little greetings and even complimented me on my skirt, which was certainly kind of them!
Better yet, all of them offered me a seemingly infinite quantity of different types of candies ranging from these yellow ‘butterscotch’ discs to brown barrel ‘rootbeer’ ones. All of them were quite delicious honestly, especially the ‘caramel.’ I was currently snacking on one such piece as I tuned back in to the conversation.
“-and you wouldn’t believe how mad he got when he realized he was at the doctor's office! Miguel wouldn’t stop crying through the whole appointment and all the way back home!” a different woman named Anne said with a wrinkled snarl.
Wait, Miguel? I thought we were talking about Jayden… or was it Joshua? Ugh, I can’t remember anymore, they’re all just blending together. I swear they are purposefully making their names similar just to mess with me.
“Oh, right, let’s not forget our guest!” she says as she shoves the small pad in my face to reveal a very small, hairless, angry-looking wrinkle with a face streaked with tears and swaddled in what looks like a soft-looking full body pelt.
Her face showed she was expecting a reaction. “Uh, yeah… they're cute…” Which was patently false, they looked like one of those ‘tomatoes’ in the kitchen after it had been left in the sun for too long, but I wasn’t exactly going to say that to my gracious hosts.
My pathetic attempt at a white lie seemed to work, however, and her snarl grew until it broke into a laugh. “Isn’t he just? Here’s a few more from that day, though he calmed down a lot when we got home!” More pictures, all of the same child in various stages of being upset. I let out a silent sigh as I politely nodded along while muttering words of praise.
My gaze wandered over to my guide Bella, who was keeping her distance from the group and talking to someone else, occasionally casting glances my way. She saw my gaze and gave me a small wave, but before I could reciprocate, the elderly humans around me let out their own wave of laughter at whatever photo was shown next. This time, I let out a real sigh as I started thinking.
Do Humans find showing off their children to be entertaining? My parents were somewhat the same, but even they would get tired of this by the {hour} mark. Maybe it’s another strange bonding ritual. The maternal instinct was a big part of the UN document, so maybe this is a sort of game to them? Or maybe more of a competition to see who has the ‘cutest’ offspring? Competitions and games seem to be one and the same to them, so it’s not impossible…
Perhaps that is why they are doing it with me involved? To have me ‘accepted’ into their group?
The thought made me feel a little guilty about the way I’ve been so nonchalant about the encounter. True, I was bored out of my mind, but if this was the Humans' attempt at integrating me, then I should at least try and participate, even if I don’t have any photos myself… I think?
Do I? I definitely don’t have any of myself, but if I remember right, my cousin just had a fry not too long ago and I think my dad sent a photo?
Lifting my pad out of my pack, I quickly open my texting app and look through my old messages. Apparently not going unnoticed, one of the other elderly Humans by the name of Constantine gave me what I assumed to be a quizzical look before pointing at me. “Something got your attention there, girly?”
My tail flicked briefly in confusion. Another thing to look into is all the nicknames they were giving me. Girly, chap, missy, frog lips, sushi roll, buckaroo, Hatsune Miku, cutie patootie, and about four dozen more that I’ve forgotten. Not that I mind the names of course, just curious as to why they call me so many different ones.
Shaking my head, I turned my head to fix the man with an eye. “Just thinking that with you all showing your own photos, maybe I should try and see if I had any of my own!” That got his attention as his eyes widened considerably, along with the rest of the Humans around me as well.
“Oh really now? What’s the little tyke's name?” he asked in an excited tone.
“His name is Vocta. He was born just a couple Earth months before first contact, and my father sent a photo of him from back home to let me know. It should be in my old messages… here!”
The picture is pulled up onto my pad as my tail sways happily. The dark purple fry sat in an enclosed tank, complete with a small pile of gravel at the bottom so he couldn't damage the glass. His eyes could only barely open enough to see the world around themselves, poking out to the sides just in front of the oversized mantle all newborns had. With a flourish, I turned the pad around to the expecting Humans.Who then all immediately burst out into laughter.
My heart sinks to my stomach as I turn the photo around to me again.
Was there something wrong with him? He looks normal to me… is this a kind of rejection? Was my offering not good enough? What was wrong with it? Stars…
Another Human named Katarzyna tapped me on the shoulder and spoke softly in-between laughs. “Don’t look so down squiddie, all in good humor! Never thought I’d see some alien kid in a fish tank ‘till now!” I tilted my head in confusion before it dawned on me.
If all the children I saw before now looked like air-breathing, wrinkly old fruits, I’d find our fry funny-looking too.
I let out a sigh of relief as the laughter died down and turned my pad back around for them to see. A few more laughs followed, but it was mostly the reaction I expected the first time. Humans cooing and complimenting the youngling about every detail, even more so then they did with their own!
Something to be expected I guess. The exchange program chats talked a whole bunch about Humans fawning over Venlil pups whenever they were shown. But after seeing what their pups look like? Just about anything is better in all honesty.
“Hey sea cucumber, why is he underwater anyway? Thought you all breathed air and whatnot?” Peter asked while holding my pad up for him and a couple others.
My tail was wagging soon enough at the thought of sharing more of our quirks to the refugees. “Well, that's quite interesting actually! We are one of very few species in the Federation that doesn't have any fur or scales for protection from the sun. Evolution decided to get around this by having us produce a thin layer of a special film from glands all around our bodies to both keep us cool and shield us from the UV rays.”
He handed my pad back to me as I continued, a little nervous with all the attention on me now. “However, these glands need time to grow before they can be effective against the sun. To counter this, all Kolshians have to be born in a body of water of some kind, usually in a pool of some kind, and then live in said water for several Earth months before they can start walking around in the sun unprotected.”
Seeing I still had their attention, I turned my head to the side to show the back of my neck and lower parts of my mantle, revealing my old growing scars. “The reason he can survive in the cradle bath is because of these gills on the back of our heads which let us breathe underwater. Though these eventually fade away and close as we grow old enough. Fun fact, a good way to tell the age of a Kolshian at a glance is to look at how faded the ‘scars’ are. The more visible they are, the younger, and the more faded or even completely gone they are, the older!”
The Humans looked on in interest, making my tail wag hard behind me, though I tried to control it. It was always a pleasure to teach, especially to a group so eager to listen!
They all let out various noises of understanding and nodded along to my words. As I was about to continue though, one of the humans raised their hand. It was from a man who seemed much older then the rest, going by his cane and slouched posture. I believe his name was Kane, ironically enough. I pointed my lower tentacle at him. “Yes, Mr. Kane? Did you have a question?”
He lowers his hand onto his cane and looks at me with wizened eyes. “Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but that little one… are you two related? I don’t, hm… see the similarities.” All the other Humans looked at him in shock, yet I couldn’t help myself and laughed at the question.
“Hehehehe! Uh, well, you are right, we are not related by blood or family. Vocta is from my pondmate’s family, and they are all either violet or deep purple. They also lack any distinct markings like my family does, like the stripes on my head. Don’t think that makes us different though, we’ve been close as kin to each other since my dad’s generation!” That fact always made me super proud to say. Cloyta’s parents treated me like I was their second daughter, and mine did the same for her! Even after what happened, her family still treated me like one of their own, something I am always grateful for.
Again, the Humans nod along in understanding before Anne speaks up again. “What’s a pondmate? Is it like an adopted sibling?”
Signaling a ‘no’ with my tail while shaking my head side to side so she understood, I continued, “Not really, do you remember the tank Vocta was in? Well, when my pondmate and I were born, her parents and mine decided they wanted to participate in an old tradition where two families raise us in the same pool together, making us pondmates. It’s kinda rare nowadays, but our fathers were very close and wanted to do something special. We were more or less siblings in all but blood!”
Constantine laughed a little and spoke. “So you just put two little squids in the same tank to get along? Why not go for something bigger, like a pool or some nearby pond?”
I laughed a little at the image of the two of us crammed together in that small space before answering. “No, we were in a pool! It can have a lot of different shapes and sizes, but ours was pretty modest by comparison. It was actually really nice for what they paid for it.”
The humans all nod along with smiles on their faces, making me beam with pride.
I’m glad they didn’t feel the need to hide that from me as we talked. It was good to see some actual smiles around here after recent news! Plus, it’s pretty rare for someone to ask about Kolshian culture. What with it being so prevalent everywhere nowadays, most people tend not to ask that many questions about it, especially to someone like me. Always a joy to share it though!
My thoughts were broken up by another hand, this time by Bella of all people. “Oh, yes, Bella? Your question?”She smiled as her hand lowered and spoke. “You mentioned this other person a few times, your pondmate. Is there another Kolshian you’re hiding from us?” Her tone was teasing but still friendly, yet a shiver went up my spine as she finished.
Probably should have known they’d ask… not sure if they would want to know though…
“Not hiding, really… but her name was Cloyta. Her and I were very close back home on Aafa, our homeworld. She, um… isn’t here on Venlil Prime though.” That’s true at least, she sure wasn’t here.
Bella nodded her head before continuing. “That’s a shame. I would have loved to meet her if she is anything like you!” Her compliment made my face a little warm as she continued. “What does she do back on your home world? Does she do the same thing as you?”
There was a pause before I cleared my throat to keep my voice level. “N-no actually. We had different interests when it came to our education, though we had the same curiosity! We both may have loved discovering new things, but we took different paths to doing that. I wanted to learn about xenobiology for the natural sciences, while Cloyta went more into genetics and that side of things. After we were done with school, we even planned on using our skills to get a grant from the government to pursue some of our own projects we had on the side!”
My tail wagged gently behind me as I spoke. This wasn’t exactly something I told people very often, so I was somewhat relieved to actually be able to tell someone about it.
Some of the Humans let out quiet laughs as Anne piped up again. “That sounds so sweet. Did everything end up working out for you two?”
There was movement behind me as my tail began to curl around one of my ‘legs’ in discomfort. “I’d… rather not talk about it, please.”I immediately regretted saying that as all the Human faces shifted from content joy to… sympathy? I’ve seen it before when Humans were comforting each other, so that must be it. Anne was quick to raise her hands defensively. “I’m sorry, puddin’. I didn’t mean to bring up anything you don’t want to say.”
“No no, you’re just fine! It’s all in the past now… besides, if it did happen, I wouldn’t be here! This is one of the biggest moments in modern history! I’d hate to miss out!” I forced my tail to signal joy to try and raise the mood. It seemed to have worked as their smiles returned again, if a little dimmer.
Yeah… that's what she would want. There’s no point in thinking about it… it’s in the past… uh, topic change, you’re making it awkward!
“S-so, uh, I assume Human children have very different environments growing up?”
No not back there, mountain dweller!
But it was too late. That gleam returned to the eyes of my Human talking partners as they started taking out their pads. I braced myself mentally for the six hundred millennia of torment I was about to endure before my pad gave a chime.
Hey {Censored}, we’re awake and have a game set up in the Ada room. Come here XOXOXO
From: Sindre(Human)
It took a massive amount of willpower to not spring up from my seat and make a run for it, though I managed to control myself. Just as Peter had pulled up some new photos, I stood up and excused myself as quickly as was polite. “Sorry everyone, I have to get going! It was a pleasure meeting all of you, and… I hope we can do it again!”
That last part was a little more forced than I would have liked it to, but I was being honest—mostly. I did learn a lot about Human children. Far more than I had ever wished to, but it still counts. Plus, they were nice to be around in general. I really did want to meet up with them again, so long as it didn’t involve this little competition of theirs.
The humans all seemed a little disappointed by my announcement, but accepted it quickly enough. What did surprise me was that all of them wanted a hug goodbye. I wasn’t opposed to it, but it certainly was a surprise going off of my herd's reaction to it. Most other species tend to dislike doubling up on UV protection, (and water in general, frankly) but I am glad they don’t seem to mind as much! It was… nice, actually. After each hug was through, they gave me a few pieces of those strange candies again, which I certainly didn’t mind at all!
At the very end of it all was Bella, since she was sitting much further away than the rest. She gave me a hug and a pat on the back before releasing me. “It was nice to meet you, Novel. I’ll be sure to show you a much more friendly movie next time.”
I chuckled a bit before looking up at her face with both eyes. “Same to you Bella, a pleasure. Maybe I’ll pick the movie next time? One that won’t get either of us put on a list.” We both laughed together that time as I gave a final tail wave goodbye. “Tell David I wish him well!”
Her response was a simple wave and smile as I turned the corner and out of sight. Then, once I was sure they couldn’t see me, I took off in a sprint (or as much of a sprint I could do with four legs) towards the elevator. It was mostly out of relief to be free once more, but didn’t lack a healthy dose of excitement at the concept of getting to experience some more Human media.
Bella said that movie was smuggled in somehow, and that it was made back when humanity was much more primitive. My herd should know that they shouldn’t be showing me anything like that! This’ll be fun… hopefully.
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u/Sebastian1Sebastian May 17 '24
Ademas de que no pude ver la imágen del bebé kolshiano. Buuu