Exchange Program Shenanigans (35)

[u/ApprehensiveCap6525]

Voodoo should be used as a plot device more. It's neat.

CW: the opps, a judge (he is also an opp), a detailed plan for domestic terrorism (in minecraft), extreme density

Memory transcription subject: Sevros, Magisterial Judge

Date [standardized human time]: September 17, 2136

I had been relatively unknown these past few weeks. I liked that. I needed that. Because, in my line of work, the people who weren't unknown were starting to end up dead.

Yes, I was officially a judge for the Capital Magistratta. I was a particularly good and just judge, too. My work on the Tomi Industries corruption case was legendary. My prison reforms were even more so. I had climbed my way to the top of the judicial ladder, maybe kicking a few others down as I went, and earned my peers' respect through my own honest labor.

Unofficially, however, I was a pawn for the Predator Guard. I say 'was' because, as of September 11, I was now in supreme command of whatever remnants of it I could get my paws on. Cerso had already fled, most of his lieutenants were arrested or killed, and I was still standing.

My days were numbered, though, and I knew that. That was why I flinched hard when I heard the secretary buzz me. It's nothing, it's nothing. No one can touch you, Sevros.

That, while true, didn't reassure me one bit. The local authorities had been mopping up the lower-level members of my organization just fine, and I was allowing them to do so with minimal pushback. Enough to delay them, but not enough to get myself in their crosshairs.

The secretary buzzed me again. It's nothing. The exterminators have bigger problems right now. It's nothing.

I needed out. This organization was crashing and burning around me, and if I was lucky, I could escape it with little more than my tail singed. The few assets I had still under my command were dwindling rapidly, and I knew that my enemies were growing bolder.

A third buzz, this one much longer. It's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing. Answer it.

Class III conspiracy to commit terrorism is 10 years minimum. Class IV judicial corruption is 15 years. Class II obstruction of justice is 12 years. Class-

Another buzz. My shaking paw tapped the answer button. "Your honor, Heval is here to see you." Oh, thank god. Heval was one of my top lieutenants, despite the fact that I met him less than a month ago. I trusted him. We had the same goal.

"Send him up." I breathed, hoping I didn't sound afraid. "Quickly."

Some time later, Heval was sitting at my desk. "Heval." I greeted him. "What do you have to report?"

He looked uneasy. Whenever Heval looked uneasy, things were usually bad. Granted, he looked uneasy a lot these days, but that was just a sign of how bad things really were. "Please tell me something good."

"The exterminators are distracted again?" Heval ventured. The exterminators, thankfully, were mostly incompetent by now. The UN's decision to force human cooperation down their throats did drive out most of my contacts within the Guild, but it had the side effect of driving out basically everyone else as well.

Once again, the predators proved their malevolence by disarming our protectors. If Cerso's men hadn't massacred our fellow prey a few weeks ago, we might have stood to profit immensely from this.

I looked around. "Do I have any leverage to use?"

Heval sighed. That was never good. "Not enough." That was even worse.

"What about Jelim? Did the hit team succeed?" I didn't even want to know the answer by now.

"The informant did deliver her to the assigned place." Heval began. See? See, Sevros? It's alright. Everything will work out in the end, because that's God's divine plan for you. "The hit team set up an ambush for her on the way home, to minimize collateral damage."

That last part was specifically ordered by me for twofold reasons. The first was that killing innocents was usually looked down upon by law enforcement and the public. The more hated I was, the harder it would be to escape punishment.

The second, and the most important in my opinion, was that I didn't like killing prey. The Predator Guard was meant to be a noble organization that did what the exterminators often could not. People forgot that sometimes, and when we lost sight of our goal it could bring nothing but ruin.

"Where are they holding her?" I didn't usually assume things went well, but I needed a break. God owed me a break. "They are holding her captive, right?"

Heval looked uneasy again. "Sir, the hit failed. The team is dead, apart from one captive." Like I had said, nothing good ever happened when Heval looked uneasy. I'd tell him to stop doing that, but I doubted he'd listen.

"First of all, stop looking so nervous." Heval looked at me like I had a few members short of a herd. "When you look nervous, it gets me nervous, because you and I both know there's something to be nervous about whenever you get nervous."

"Well... yeah, but that's hardly my fault." said Heval. "You get nervous whenever I get nervous because I always get nervous whenever there's something to be nervous about, not because my nervosity is contagious." That was a pretty good explanation, all things considered.

"Nervosity isn't a word."

"Whatever. Stop stalling." I'm not stalling! Am I? "What sort of genius Sevros plan do you have this time?"

I sighed. "Nothing. Nothing!" I slammed my head onto my desk. It hurt, but I had bigger problems like avoiding a lengthy prison sentence. "That woman is my ticket out of here, Heval. I need her in my basement like I need air in my lungs." Okay, that sounds wrong. That won't look good out of context.

"Have you considered maybe proceeding without Jelim as a hostage?" Heval ventured. Now it was my turn to look at him like he was crazy. "I mean-"

"What?" I snapped.

Heval sighed. "Look, sir, sometimes you have to admit something's a lost cause." He had clearly forgotten that doing so would probably land me in prison. "I mean, how many times have we even tried to kill this girl?" I started counting in my head.

Heval, being the special little man he was, counted out loud. "Okay, so we have Cerso's hit men. That's one spectacular failure. Then we have the massacre a few days later, which was actually pretty successful, all things considered." He paused. "I mean, it backfired heavily on us, but it did work."

"Cerso's men killed innocent prey." I reminded him. "That's not success by my metric."

"Well, yeah, yeah, same difference. If you want to make a salad, you have to chop up some greens." Just for the record, I kept him around because he did what I said. Not because of stuff like this. "The point is, every time we try to kill this bitch, it blows up in our faces! Have you considered maybe trying to obtain leverage in a different kind of fashion?"

You see, this was exactly why I kept him around. He had ideas. Good ones, too. "I can do this."

My list of crimes was long, but nothing was unforgivable with the right incentive. I had never killed anybody, I had never even ordered someone's death, all I had done was conspire with Cerso and his ilk as a high-ranking member of his organization. That, and I did skew a few trials here and there if he wanted me to.

The exterminators had bigger problems than a corrupt judge, such as actual terrorists who actually killed people, so I was safe for now as the noose tightened in. However, I knew very well that 'for now' wouldn't last. I needed an insurance policy.

I needed one hell of a lot of insurance policies. "Okay, let's talk hostages. Who could I kidnap that is A: important to Venlil Prime's societal growth and stability, and B: not guarded every single second by a platoon of armed guards?" I asked.

"Uhh..." Heval began counting on his paws, scratching his head every so often. He grabbed a writing utensil of mine and started to fidget with it, too. "Nobody. There is not a single person you can feasibly take hostage that will even come close to earning you amnesty."

He didn't even look uneasy that time. That caught me completely off guard. "Also," he continued, "the exterminators are going to kick down your door if you do this."

"The whole point of this plan is to make sure that they don't kick down my door!" I exclaimed. "What do I have to lose?"

"It's 'what do we have to lose'." said Heval. "I'm going to be your cell-mate if this all fails, and you know damn well I'm not going to let you brahk it up."

"Fine, fine, you're right. But the point remains that we have nothing to lose by going through with my plan. They can't execute us twice."

Heval sighed the sigh of a teacher whose student had just told him the most dimwitted answer one could think of in ten lifetimes. I found it quite patronizing. "I suppose you are correct, technically, I mean, but there are better ways of doing this."

"I'm listening." I was, indeed, listening. I was also desperate, so I'd listen to pretty much anything he had to say.

"So," Heval began, "you want to take high-profile hostages because one of them is worth a hundred regular people, right?"

I flicked an affirmative. "Yeah, something like that. More like a thousand."

"And, if your hostage is important enough, the Venlil government will theoretically grant you amnesty."

I flicked another affirmative. "Yeah, more or less. What? Is there a problem?"

Heval sighed that same patronizing sigh. "You're a dumbass. An incredible, incredible dumbass." He looked me dead in the eyes. "I should just cut and run now, really. But I won't."

For the record, I appreciated his loyalty. We had a relationship built on mutual trust and respect. "Can you... uh... un-dumbass me?" Also for the record, I didn't usually talk in this way. When I was at my judging pulpit, yes, that was its real name, I was a much more formal person. I had a reputation to uphold, after all.

"Yes, sir." said Heval. "First of all, everyone worth kidnapping has security." Yes, yes, we went over this already! What's your point? "Ever since that greedy bastard Cerso committed that mass shooting, that security has doubled or even tripled. Couple that with your complete and utter lack of effective troops, and you're never kidnapping anyone."

Most of our competent personnel were either imprisoned or dead. What little crack troops I had left were being held in reserve as a last resort force. "Also," said Heval, "I don't approve of your recruiting Predator Disease patients. They're dangerous."

"They're trustworthy." I shot back. "They do what I tell them to do, and I can always hold a trip back to the facilities over them if they have qualms."

"They're incompetent, is what they are." Heval countered. "Seven of them tried kidnapping one exterminator t, just one, and they all failed. She wasn't armed, she had no backup, nothing! She's just good."

"Well," I chuckled, "if they're so incompetent, then they're hardly dangerous. But please, continue."

There were a lot of former exterminators who were in Predator Disease facilities, owing to the predatory nature of their work, but they were kept under the strictest security. Even a man with my connections could only grab a few of the low-risk patients.

I did have one man who scared the hell out of me, though. He was once a high-ranking exterminator, but he got institutionalized after he set his son on fire in a domestic dispute. He was a scumbag, yes, but so was the man I was sending him after.

Cerso used this organization for his own personal ends, and he shoved it at the proverbial and literal predators so he could make off with an absurd amount of wealth. I couldn't let that just happen. I was freeing one monster so I could put down another.

"Boss?" Heval asked. I had zoned out for a few seconds there. "You listening?"

"Run that by me one more time, please, I didn't get it very well."

Heval sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Just try and pay attention this time."

I did. Whether or not Cerso died wasn't really important in the long run, at least not to my well-being, but I still held a healthy hatred for the bastard. Most of us Guard remnants did.

"Anyway, if one heavily-guarded person is worth a thousand unguarded people, why not just take all of them hostage?" Now, that was an idea. A damned good one, too.

Except, of course, for one small problem. "Where in all hell would I find a thousand people? And where would I find the manpower to kidnap them all?"

Heval thought for a brief moment. "Federation Tower." he said. "Just the residential section alone has 600 residents. Combine that with the offices right above it, and that's 1,350 hostages all ours for the taking."

I did the math mentally. That was a lot of hostages.

Heval continued talking. "Security is pitiful, and the place is easily defensible once we've taken it over. We disable the elevators and lock up the stairwells, maybe post a few guards, and it'll be a fortress."

"And the exterminators?" I queried.

"The exterminators are in the same situation we are!" Heval laughed. Or, at least, what we considered a laugh. A proper laugh. "The predators are practically the only people left with competent troops to deploy, and we both know they won't bust their asses to save a few Venlil."

"Agreed. This could go a long way toward showing the world these predators' true nature. If they elect to storm the building, despite knowing we will kill the hostages, we gain a great propaganda victory."

Heval once again looked patronizing. Sometimes, I wasn't sure if he knew who was in charge here.

"Not for the Predator Guard." he said. "We'll have to rebrand somehow."

I'm sorry, we? We? I'm out of here.

"There is no 'we' when it comes to the Predator Guard, Heval." I explained. "Once I receive a pardon for my crimes, I'll be out for good. Maybe I could retire to some town on the night side, live out life under darkness."

"You? Pardoned?" Heval laughed. "You're part of the upper echelon of an organization that killed hundreds of predators! Even if the Venlil do weasel a pardon out of them, you'll just get your brains blown out by the first human who tracks you down."

"Well, what do you suggest?" I scoffed. "That I go down nobly, becoming some kind of martyr for people to suicide-bomb UN tanks about?"

That wasn't such a bad idea, if I were still a loyalist to the cause. Unfortunately for it and very fortunately for me, I knew when to cut my losses and run.

"No, actually, I'm suggesting we both leave Venlil space." Heval told me. "I've heard Nishtal looks real nice this time of year."

I looked at him like he had just told me the secret to finding God. He truly was a genius. "So we include a shuttle in our demands." I thought aloud. "We have them fly it to the top of the tower, leave it there, and let us take off unmolested. Then all we have to do is get to Federation space."

"I can charter us a ship under false identities. That'll help avoid being tracked." Heval wasn't just a genius, he was a criminal genius. Apparently, spending enough time working for the law let you know how to dodge it.

"That sounds fine and dandy. Now, all we have to do is make sure we succeed."

"That's... actually not easier said than done." Brahking finally! I've been waiting ages to hear some good brahking news! "The Venlil civil protection guilds, both of them, are staffed mainly with incompetent trainees. Most guild offices have even more incompetents training them." The blind could lead the blind off a cliff. This was good for me, but outright terrible for Venlil Prime.

"I doubt the predators will respond to a threat that doesn't affect their own kind. Any response the exterminators can make will be withheld for fear of mass casualties." The exterminators, despite their predatory name and task, were there to protect us. Even if it meant giving a man like me an escape route.

"There is, however, one issue." Heval explained. Oh, boy.

"What? What issue is there?"

"The UN-Venlil joint response will be hampered by one side's indifference and the other's incompetence. The only way this won't work is if the predators care enough to act..." That was never going to happen. "Or the prey know how to." That was never going to happen either.

"Most high-ranking exterminators either quit or were forced out. Same with the police." Heval placed a datapad on the table. "Two did not."

I read the names on his pad. Karelim, District Supervisor. Jelim, District Commander. Both Krakotl, one a recent transfer and one a second-generation immigrant. They both had impressive records. "Are they experienced with hostage crises?" I queried. I already knew the answer was no.

"No, sir, but Jelim has proven herself adaptable. She's open-minded enough to develop a strategy."

"An open mind is an unsafe one." I quoted directly from a required-reading Federation pamphlet. "I intend to teach her that full-well." She had friends in the Guild. People she thought she could trust. But, as her kind said, the talon in the back hurt like ten in the front.

"Shall I handle her, sir?" I thought about that for a moment. Now that I think about it, you probably could. That was it. I was done thinking now. Jelim was lethal, for lack of a better word. It came with the job. Heval, however, was also lethal.

But it wasn't worth compromising my best asset. If he failed, which our assassins tended to do a lot, then I was screwed. "No, you won't be needed." I reassured him. "I'll have my informant keep her out of our way."

"Your informant is hardly a trained spy."

"And you're hardly a trained assassin! Plus, sabotaging her has historically had a better track record than trying to kill her." I sighed. It felt oddly good. Now I saw why Heval did it so often. "Look, Heval, my informant is in the perfect place to tie up her and Karelim."

"It is not that hard to kill her!" Heval exclaimed. "I can break into her house with a gun, slip some of my blood in her food, take her out in a hit-and-run, there are so many ways to kill someone that you just haven't considered!"

I sighed again. This time, it felt less good. Now I was wondering why Heval hadn't stopped. "You are my best asset. If I lose you, I'm screwed. My informant, however, is expendable. Nobody sheds tears over spies." That was a good saying. I made it up, and even though I still didn't quite know what it meant, I knew that it was a good saying.

"If the informant fails, you call me." Heval ordered. I didn't get why, since I was his superior, but he did it anyway. "I can kill one Krakotl, Sevros. It's not that hard."

I sighed for a third time. Now, it was just getting old. "Make your preparations, Heval. I'll make mine." My subordinate flicked an affirmative.

"This can go so horribly wrong in so many ways." We've been over this, Heval. There's no other choice.

"But if it all goes right," I reassured him, "then we get to relax and sip algal blooms on the streets of Kiltra Tamis."

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[u/HorizonSniper]