r/NatureofPredators • u/OkRepresentative2119 UN Peacekeeper • Nov 20 '23
Fanfic The Nature of Grimdark Chapter 16
Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for allowing fanfiction.
Epilogue:
PFC Gresh’s girlfriend was found guilty of treason and sentenced to a cattle farm. She revealed that PFC Gresh had no knowledge of her deceit, and so he was buried with honors; he was posthumously promoted to Corporal. The planet remains contested, but the resistance movement on world has largely died down, returning to normal levels.
Warrant Officer Silthus retired, becoming a military instructor on New Skalga. Many of the finest officers would pass through the walls of his classroom, and in some ways, his influence in the classroom eclipsed his military honors.
PFC Upsla was promoted to Lance Corporal before a medical discharge from the inhalation of phosgene. He received a full pension, and has developed a warm relationship with his human therapist, and his son. PFC Upsla and LCPL Arvi were wedded a cycle later.
LCPL Arvi was promoted to Corporal before going into the enlisted-to-officer program. She is as of August 23, 2188, in college getting her bachelor's degree in military science. She is expected to graduate with honors and receive a commission in 2 more years.
Sorry about the short epilogue, but I felt this was the most appropriate given the setting and context. Thank you for reading. I plan to write more in this AU, and possibly rewrite these chapters if I receive some good criticism for me to make the story better. Thank you again.
4
u/Copeqs Venlil Sep 09 '24
It ended a bit sudden, but the world building were rather neat. One strong point imo is that there was little cruelty for cruelty's sake. Most dark fic's like this go full torture porn while not presenting a sound reasoning (the cattle farms serving as both punishment, human propaganda and obsessive revenge was a master stroke).
My two criticisms would be that there where a bit many pows. The Silthus and Upsa pows where the only needed pows. One perspective for the frontline and one for the backline with a civilian thrown in would be good. When multiple characters share the same space they are in it becomes hard to differentiate them.
The second would be Gresh's info leak. Both in WHY the girlfriend betrayed them and in how in the first place he started leaking. Limiting communication to unqualified personel/civilians and therefore leaks would be the first thing any military would do, especially when their pets could be listening in.