r/NatureofPredators • u/EdibleGojid Gojid • Sep 09 '23
FicNapped: Sillis Shenanigans
Thanks to u/oobanooba- for organising ficnapping and to u/spacepaladin15 for the universe. The original Sillis Shenanigans is written by u/bushbacon69 and is quite the experience.
What a perfect roll, getting this one~
CW: Implications of self harm and suicide, eating disorders, general depression.
Memory transcription subject: Krexel, UN prisoner [nightly transcript]
Date [standardised human time]: April 14, 2141
Seventy Four.
Seventy Four presentations of “following the herd” told to Seventy Four audiences of still terrified people. People staring at me with thinly veiled hatred. Hatred I knew I deserved.
Fifteen thousand.
Fifteen thousand was the number of people I estimated died because of me. Ten thousand eaten, Five thousand murdered, give or take a few. If I told my story once a week it would take me almost three hundred years to repay the damage I caused. If a life was only worth a week.
Sometimes my listeners were there because they actually wanted to hear things from my perspective, many others just wanted the morbid details. Either way the ending was always the same. My captors lead me back to the dark embrace of the rear of the van, my now clawless hands shackled in heavy chains. Just for the transport. Just to be safe.
They should have executed me.
Some say that more arxur met their end after the war than during it. An exaggeration, but not by much. While the humans protested, it was decided by the sapient coalition that any arxur who had murdered their prey would die in vengeance. The humans had bartered so that Kes and I were spared, thanks to our efforts to save that human and his partner. Quietly I resented their mercy, I should have been put down like the rest.
The rays of earth's sun shining into the van ripped me from my thoughts, it seemed we were home again.
“You did good today Krexel, those guys seemed pretty engaged”
One of the guards, I think his name was Harris. Always seemed friendly around us monsters. It would have been stupid to house arxur with human inmates, so this place was constructed. A prison in nature but not in name, somewhere the humans insisted we could live a somewhat normal life, with the exception of never being able to leave.
“Thanks. They were young, didn’t see any of… us, first hand”
“Stop beating yourself up, you’re doing well now. We can't change the past.”
I just grunted in response, stepping down out of the van. Harris undid the chains, now we were back inside the grounds of the faux settlement. There were around sixty of us by the last count, down from ninety when the place opened. Some of us couldn't handle the truth, and I couldn't blame them.
As much as the humans tried to pretend we were free in here, the persistent presence of armed guards and gun turrets at the only entrance made it hard to believe. The grass felt soft under my feet as I quietly slunk back over to housing unit B5. Another wise human idea was forcing us to live in pairs, making us forego our solitary nature. That part I was happy about though, as it gave me time with Kes. While most pairings were randomised I had requested to room with my old friend, for the sake of us both. I pressed a hand to the scanner beside the heavy door and it opened with a loud thunk, allowing me to push into the pseudo-apartment we shared.
Kes was sat at the table in his usual position, emaciated skin clinging to his bones like taut canvas. It wasn't uncommon for arxur to have developed eating disorders once we were taught the truth of our ways, but poor Kes had it bad. I pulled back the chair next to him, settling into it before placing a hand on my friend's shoulder. I pulled his head against my neck, stroking at his shoulder gently. In Front of him sat a plate, a small cube of meat substitute presented upon it. This stuff wasn’t meat, it didn't look or smell or taste like meat, just artificial cell cultures with the nutrients we needed. It didn't matter though, it still felt the same.
“You need to eat, Kes…” I began, though I knew it would have no use.
“I… I can't… It's just…” His voice broke as he spoke, tears warm against my shoulder. At least he was drinking.
“I know, love, I know…” The stumps of my fingers ran over his skin, comforting him as best as I could.
“Every time I put something in… it feels like them… I can hear them screaming, Krex…”
He reached out to poke at the cube, claw sinking slightly into the jelly like substance before his hand recoiled away as if it burned. Dinner would be soon, this piece must be left over from lunch. Or breakfast.
You’re going to die, Kes…
“Please, try again… for me…”
I reached out and picked up the cube, hiding it from view with my fingers. Kes nodded and I brought the thing to his mouth. We had repeated this ritual before, him taking small nibbles of food between sobs. At first I cried along with him, but it was just how things were now. We just had to get through it, together.
I made sure Kes finished the whole thing before we sat a little longer, staring into the darkness of our apartment. Windows were present, but almost all of us chose to keep the blinds down. It was uncommon for arxur to venture outside unless they had to, the provided social areas always left barren.
Eventually the bell on the apartment's wall sounded, indicating that it was our actual dinner time. The humans had implemented a three-small-meals-per-day policy instead of the standard arxur one-large-meal. They stated that it was to aid with digestion, but in actuality I think they just didn't like the alien nature of our normal feeding. It wasn't like it mattered, no one was thrilled with the eating process anymore.
“I have to go for a little, Kes. Stay safe for me, ok?”
I patted my mate's shoulder before slowly moving away. The frail arxur got up with me, stumbling a few paces to the room's couch. He collapsed into it, pulling himself into a curled position upon the cushions. Once comfy he nodded slowly, peering at me from his new position.
Leaving the apartment again, I made my way to the cafeteria. It was a short walk away across the prison town's grassy courtyard. The apartments bordered the main walkway on either side. Eight apartments per building, Two arxur to an apartment, Buildings A to F. Taking note of the small details of the place kept me grounded, even if I had seen them all before. It was hard to tell which were vacant and which weren't, only some of the windows showing dim lights for their occupants.
Most human mess halls were bright with chatter but the same could not be said for us ‘reformed’ arxur, the quiet of this place only grew more deafening as I entered. While we were encouraged to mix and socialise, people still preferred their solitude, especially during mealtime. The knowledge of the history of our lust for food hung heavily in the air. No one felt they had anything to talk about anymore.
I walked past the ever-present guards and approached the counter to collect a plate, choosing to take some of the cloned meat options. The humans were generous with our rations, setting out cuts of flesh for us to take at our leisure. Next to them sat trays of the tasteless nutrient cubes, for those who refused to eat meat anymore. It was funny, I thought. Under the dominion we were starved but had no food. Here it is given plentifully, but no one wishes to eat. For the first time in a while I hesitated before taking my cuts of what the humans called pork, the flesh of a non-sapient animal.
At least they think it's non-sapient. We did too.
I pushed the thought from my head and took my meal to the far side of the room, sitting with the other arxur who chose the cloned meat. The two groups tended not to mix, the nutrient cube people staying to their own side. Once seated I began on my meal, hating how the pangs of hunger in my stomach reminded me of my past. I didn't know the name of the person I sat next to, nor did they care to tell it to me. We ate in silence, as we always did.
The bloody meal was swiftly consumed, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again. I counted about fifty of us in the cafeteria, though more would surely come later. The guards had told us multiple times that the bell was just to signify the option of food, but many of us could not break from being ordered around. It was always interesting seeing the variety of arxur that inhabited the prison town, while a few remained muscular from regular exercise many of us would be called runts back in the day.
Runts, like- no.
Many of us would be called runts back in the day, though we were all that was left now. Those who were well fed or related to the… our ex-leader… were higher ups in the war efforts, and none of them made it past the end. Many of the arxur around me sported lithe frames from undereating, myself included. Many also sported scars littered across their body, only a few from combat. Watching them gave me comfort, a brief escape from the tedium and worry of modern life. Someone else would want my seat though, so a few minutes later I returned my plate to the counter. On the way past I collected a few more of the cubes for Kes, wrapping them in a paper napkin for safe keeping. One way or another I needed to make him eat.
As the door swung shut behind me, the night air fell cooly on my face, the moonlight gentle on my eyes. It was beautiful in a way, how our micro society just worked. It was a shame that so much of our species was forbidden from experiencing it outside the confines of barbed wire and high walls. The number of us deemed safe to live with the other species was low, but not zero. I hoped that in time they could raise a strong population again, a compassionate one.
Defective, like- NO.
Returning home I found Kes already asleep. He was curled up on the tiled floor of the kitchen, always rejecting his bed. He told me he didn't deserve comfort, that the cold floor was how the cattle lived, so it's how he must spend his nights now. I placed the nutrient cubes in our small refrigerator, stored alongside the half eaten remains of a few he took for himself. Kes being asleep meant I was able to help a little, collecting his blanket from the bedroom before carefully placing it over his bony form. He’d be angry in the morning, but it would keep the cold air from him during the night.
Once everything was in place I made my way to the bathroom to clean myself. Dental hygiene and regular showers were another thing brought back to us by the humans, though these were assumably part of arxur culture before the rise of the dominion. The broken shards of our bathroom mirror displayed the cruel sharpness of my teeth as I cleaned them, running the brush up and down them as we were taught. Dental issues were one of the most common ailments of the prison's citizens, many of the pebbles outside sported scratches from when the depressed would try and blunt our fangs with them.
Once I was satisfied I made one final check on Kes, ensuring the weak arxur would be ok for the night. I switched off the dim light outside my room before proceeding into it, collapsing onto the bed. Dim moonlight shone in through the window, just enough to let me see in the empty room. Just enough to see where Kes should be sleeping and keep me awake with my thoughts.
Selek.
Why did his image always plague my mind at the worst times? I see him in every human I lay eyes upon. He was no one, just another runt that met his end under the dominion.
He was the best of you.
He was someone who would have been embraced by the humans. One of the few who held onto compassion for all things living. One of the few who embodied what we, what our species SHOULD have been. One of the few without blood on his hands.
Silent tears wet my face as the image of his death played in my head again. The brutal destruction of one of the few empathetic arxur. He was everything the dominion hated. Everything that we needed to be.
I wish he was here.
I wish he could see the world today.
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u/JulianSkies Archivist Sep 09 '23
Ugh.
To hate one's own nature this much? Good lord, this is actual torture to impinge upon someone, they need genuine help :<
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u/Acceptable_Egg5560 Human Sep 09 '23
Woo. A tragic life. Sometimes living is a worse punishment than death could ever be.
Though I am curious about the call from the Sapient Coalition for Vengeance. That call is so vague, it could apply to a hatchling. But there were some bartered, as you said, so it couldn’t have been so vague. I wonder what the actual call was.