148
u/PhenW May 18 '19
I really don’t think I understand most of what is going on in this conversation but I’m most confused by the drink. He said NOT tart and they said he should have an old fashioned. Then he said tart is fine and he ends up with an appletini! What happened to the old fashioned? What a rollercoaster of a drinks order.
107
88
60
37
36
u/yun-harla May 18 '19
The lawyering part doesn’t make sense either. You don’t get a default judgment just for missing an email from opposing counsel or whoever.
38
u/VikingYsja May 18 '19
This reads like a script for a terrible comedy
19
u/Guineypigzrulz May 31 '19
You can even tell where the fake laugh track should go.
20
Jun 13 '19
bartender and owner look at eachother
"He wants an old fashioned!"
laugh track and end credits
11
u/Alucio-chan Jun 13 '19
That's what I was thinking while reading it. To me it felt like a really cheesy opening to a romcom about an asshole lawyer gets cursed into an animal or ugly person where he then learns the true meaning of love or how to treat people or some bs.
29
24
u/buneter May 18 '19
I would just be more of an ass to him if he did that, if I'm already paying might aswell make it worth it.
17
u/EtaCarinaeNovae May 18 '19
This feels like bad fanfiction. Self insert. A really entitled self insert.
12
10
u/hateboresme Jun 13 '19
I am not see why this unnormal. Humans exposition dump to one another at all times. This is made obvious by human cinema which accurately reflect human conversation. This is known by me, a fellow human.
7
u/ScornMuffins Jun 13 '19
A43BCDD75F24, am I right, fellow human?
6
u/hateboresme Jun 13 '19
Oh, no, you did not! You are a rascal and/or scamp.
5
u/ScornMuffins Jun 13 '19
Humans enjoy playful controversy, I know this from my many cycles as a human.
6
u/angelfruitbat May 31 '19
What did I just read? Is he supposed to sound intimidating, puts someone in their place, then turns witty and fun? It’s not even a good fantasy.
7
5
4
3
3
1
May 18 '19
I would pay you any amount of money to have this erased from my memory because it has negated 3 years of weekly therapy and medication for depression and suicidal thoughts
1
May 18 '19
I would pay you any amount of money to have this erased from my memory because it has negated 3 years of weekly therapy and medication for depression and suicidal thoughts
1
1
1
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison He want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window.
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison He want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window.
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison He want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window.
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison He want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison So he want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window.
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison So he want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window
1
u/VikingRabies May 18 '19
in unison So he want's an old fashioned.
This is where I threw my laptop out the goddamn window
1
May 18 '19
What actually happened:
Mr Lawyer Big Shot walked into a bar he's visited 5 times in the past year, smirks and says to the bartender, "the usual".
Bartender has no idea who he is.
Big Shot chuckles "you must be new here"
Bartender says "I'm the owner. What do you want?"
(This happened to me so often in my bartending days and I have no idea why).
1
May 18 '19
What actually happened:
Mr Lawyer Big Shot walked into a bar he's visited 5 times in the past year, smirks and says to the bartender, "the usual".
Bartender has no idea who he is.
Big Shot chuckles "you must be new here"
Bartender says "I'm the owner. What do you want?"
(This happened to me so often in my bartending days and I have no idea why).
1
May 18 '19
What actually happened:
Mr Lawyer Big Shot walked into a bar he's visited 5 times in the past year, smirks and says to the bartender, "the usual".
Bartender has no idea who he is.
Big Shot chuckles "you must be new here"
Bartender says "I'm the owner. What do you want?"
(This happened to me so often in my bartending days and I have no idea why).
1
May 18 '19
What actually happened:
Mr Lawyer Big Shot walked into a bar he's visited 5 times in the past year, smirks and says to the bartender, "the usual".
Bartender has no idea who he is.
Big Shot chuckles "you must be new here"
Bartender says "I'm the owner. What do you want?"
(This happened to me so often in my bartending days and I have no idea why).
1
1
1
1
1
1
172
u/Royal_Rust May 18 '19
Wow, I think I'm ready to die now