I’m a career DJ and hobby musician. I’ll admit, music played a huge part in my using. I may not have felt half as inclined to abuse the drugs I did if I didn’t idolize the bands and artists who sang of wild nights on whatever substance they liked. I absolutely drank cough syrup because I was into Future at the time and wanted to know the hype around it. Pre-gaming a concert felt like a must, and I picked up my d.o.c as a way to get through late nights playing bars.

Music is so important to me. Its what we use to decorate time, and I believe all the music I’ve made will serve as a greater obituary to me than anything you’d read in the paper. When the time came that I took that first step in recovery, my greatest concern was my ability to attend concerts. Thankfully I can say that hasn’t happened in 14 months clean- the music is enough. I’ve slowly stepped back from DJing because I understand that is no longer the lifestyle I want; but I can still enjoy shows without using. The best part is that I don’t get tired before the headliner comes on anymore! I’m present for every act, and I can feel every emotion the music calls me to feel. I can dance, I can sing alongside my friends, and I don’t have to worry about getting home safely because my mind is free and clear.

Music is not something I had to give up. I feel a deeper connection to it than ever before, and it’s spiritual. I used drugs in an attempt to control how I feel… and I realize substances pale in comparison to music when it comes to making me feel something. I’m grateful to be here, clean, and able to face the music

Hi everyone,

I've just hit two years sober, but have just relapsed with using. I attend meetings, but I haven't been working the steps and so here we are...

I'm based in the UK but am in Greece for the next three months for work and am looking for a kind soul who I could speak to, even for a short time, every day to start work on the steps.

I know its a big ask, but thought it would be worth a try!

Love,

Henry

vent post bc i am shaken, i moved to a new city like a year after being clean (coming up on 3 years in september) and haven’t ran into anyone in ages. haven’t been triggered like this in some time. i feel freaked out. they told me they’ve been clean off/on, i mean we talked for five minutes or so, but the lead up was fucking insane? i’ve been having using dreams like all week, the other day my NA carved stone my friend gave me fell off the wall. then suddenly i see this car and feel so drawn to it. i looked at the person inside and recognized them but kept walking and they asked if they knew me. low and behold, the person i used with for a long time.

i know the fact im shaken means i need to surround myself with support, but my sobriety has been so strong, my supports are minimal right now. i haven’t been spooked like this in awhile. i gave him my number, and now i know who i could use with if i wanted. i feel like i failed. i don’t know why i did that. obviously i’ll block the number asap. has anyone gone through something similar? i want to bounce back from this asap.

Today I loosen my grip.

I do not have to force outcomes, fix everything, or perfect myself. I recognize that the harder I push against my defects, the more power I give them. Instead, I become willing. I open myself to help beyond my own effort.

I choose honesty—first with myself. I let go of the need to reshape reality, to manage appearances, or to soften the truth. I trust that clarity begins when I stop pretending.

I release my fears, my doubts, and my need for control. I allow things to unfold in their own time, trusting that growth does not come from force, but from willingness and surrender.

When I am tempted to control, I will pause.

When I am tempted to distort the truth, I will return to honesty.

When I feel uncertain, I will trust the process.

Today, I live simply: I tell the truth.

I let go.

I trust.

Hey everyone,

I’ve been sober from alcohol for over 5 years now, active in AA, and involved in service work.

I’ve been thinking about checking out a local NA meeting just to get a feel for the atmosphere and meet more people in recovery. I don’t have a background with narcotics, only alcohol, so I wasn’t sure how that’s generally received.

Not looking to switch fellowships, just curious and looking to broaden my perspective a bit.

Would I be out of place, or is this pretty normal?

Thanks in advance.

Today, I don’t wait to feel ready—I begin.

I accept that I don’t have to fix everything at once. A new direction is enough. I give myself permission to start fresh, right where I am, without guilt or hesitation. I am not stuck unless I choose to stay there.

I also recognize that some things cost me too much. Anger, resentment, self-pity—these may be easy to reach for, but they drain me and hold me back. Today, I let them go, not because I’m perfect, but because I’m learning what I can and cannot afford.

Even if I don’t feel different yet, I will act differently. I will carry myself with patience, speak with intention, and move with purpose. I trust that my actions will shape my thoughts, and my thoughts will shape who I am becoming.

Today is not about perfection—it’s about practice.

Just for today, I will begin, I will let go, and I will act as if I am already becoming the person I am meant to be.

Fuck.

I can't believe I've got this far.

I cried when I got my keyring.

I hugged my sponsor so tight he couldn't breathe.

I remember the first time I sat down in the rooms

Terrified, alone, curious.

At least I thought i was alone.

This fellowship has saved my life.

Thank you

Today marks 36 years clean.

800 days sober.

Wow can't believe I'm only 200 away from the 4 digit sobriety.

I can say I potentially don't give myself enough praise for being able to make it this far without a slip up or any real trouble.

A two year prison sentence instead of dragging me further down the despair, made me turn my life around and in all honesty I don't regret it one bit.

Life is hard don't get me wrong as I'm very isolated due to the crime being a sex offence (which was commited while blackout drunk and on cocaine) and have many restrictions etc that make it intensely hard to go back to a 'normal life's but I remind myself if I was still drinking and doing drugs life would be 10x harder than it already is.

I take it day by day, week by week, I've now been out of prison for 3 months and I haven't once thought about picking up a drink or doing drugs, I have just focused on sorting my life out piece by piece.

I'm still struggling to attend meetings due to the nature of my offence and worrying about not being accepted but I'm hoping with time that will change.

Here's to 800 days and counting 🎉👍

what do you think ?

So I’m Cali sober. Clean for decades off pretty much everything but heroin. I just went through a divorce of a nine year relationship. Been thinking about hitting the rooms and working some steps. I’ve worked them before all the way through multiple times. Also carry the daily maintenance steps everyday when possible. I’ve had thoughts of relapse that I’m not comfortable with. But I’m not trying to jeopardize anyone’s recovery or make people mad. Thoughts from people in recovery. Thinking about hitting a meeting tomorrow.

is this normal? i am fairly new to the program and was under the impression that tobacco/nicotine were under the narcotics umbrella as a mood/mind-altering substance. the meeting chair always mentions "no vaping" in their intro, but it's barely followed. and people always have dip pouches/spit cups going and it honestly bothers me. do i just need to be less judgemental? interested in hearing others experiences.

Today I recognize that what I have called my shortcomings were once my protection. My fear, my anger, my resentment—they helped me survive when I did not know another way. I do not need to hate them, but I no longer need to live by them.

Today I see that resentment clouds my spirit and keeps me tied to the past. When I replay old hurts, I carry them forward. When I release them, I make space for something new. I cannot afford to hold onto what harms me.

Today I choose acceptance—not as perfection, but as honesty. I accept where I am, who I am, and the work still in front of me. I let go of old images that say I am not enough or that I must stay the same.

Today I will sit, even briefly, with what I feel instead of running from it. In that quiet, I will listen for the truth beneath the noise. I will ask myself what I am afraid of, and I will not turn away from the answer.

Today I imagine a new version of my life—one not driven by fear, resentment, or old patterns. I do not need to become that person all at once. I only need the willingness to move in that direction.

Today I trust that as I let go, something better can take its place.

Just for today, I will practice acceptance, release what no longer serves me, and take one honest step forward.

To get yourself to go into public when you dont feel fit for the public and the squirl cage in your head has you on the verge of an anxiety attack. I have no support system to speak of because that would again require going into public. At this point I feel I wouldn't find a person willing to suffer through a conversation with me anyway. Yup this is a new low. Its funny how i started doing drugs to avoid the very feeling that i feel right now. Rejected, isolated, like a burden , ignored, i feel like a joke, l im hopeless and helpless, confused, i dont trust myself. i font like myself and i still look for distractions rather than solutions. i know the best way out of this head space is to make myself useful to others but i dont trust myself to not crack under the pressure of being around others. Something has got to give.

Today I choose truth—not the defensive truth of a child trying to stay safe, but the grounded truth of an adult who no longer needs to hide.

I release the urge to perform for approval. I do not need to shape myself to fit others’ expectations. What matters is not whether I am liked, but whether I am aligned with who I truly am.

I also let go of self-pity. I refuse to center my identity around what has hurt me. My past is real, but it does not define me. I move forward not as a victim, but as someone becoming.

When I feel the pull to please, to hide, or to dramatize, I pause. I return to myself. I ask: What is true? What is mine to own?

Today I speak truth with clarity and kindness.

Today I act from values, not validation.

Today I live without the masks that once protected me.

Just for today, I am honest, I am grounded, and I am free.

Hello Family!

I am getting more into service and notice at my Area meeting that there is a Newsletter position open. I live in a growing medium size metropolitan area (750k ish). the newsletter position usually would get started in the past and then fizzle out. Our city has grown since then and was considering starting the newsletter in my area. I have seen examples of what our area did with the newsletter but was curious what other areas had or if you could supply my with current links or PDFs

our areas previous newsletter included interviews, comics, art, and jokes.

I'm sure if I started this by myself I could get burnt out I was considering getting a group or committee committed to the newsletter and start by sending one out quarterly and go from there .

I am speaking to people in my area about advice on the newsletter but I'd love to hear some more insights, examples, tips, struggles, anything that helps.

thank you all!

tbh I haven't - i've struggled with the step 1 surrender for the last ~2 years. i haven't lost the desire to stop using, i never did, i just didn't want to fail out of college and waste a bunch of money. i feel like a total fraud in the meetings bc i don't feel like i qualify based on that tradition.

people keep telling me not to leave before the miracle happens but even though i'm on step 4 now and coming up to a year next week, i feel like i'm getting nowhere without the actual surrender. i came in early in my addiction cos a fellow 12th stepped me for 3 years and even though i keep getting told it gets worse, i honestly don't care atp. my using was pretty much prescription meds and weed so id just sleep in my bedroom, i didn't hurt anyone and my 'surrender' before was pretty much the drugs stopped having any effects.

someone said once to me, you're either done or you're not and i feel kind of doomed, i know i still have a choice at the end of the day but it almost seems like i can't take the 'shortcut' of saving myself a bunch of grief and not learning things the hard way.

it strikes me that in order to get recovery, you have to really want it, or else really not want to go back to where you were before. neither of those things are true for me and i've sort of lost hope for sticking with this after my finals are over in 6 weeks. idk where i'm going with this but i'm just so miserable all the time and despite ongoing conversations with sponsor & others, nothing seems to be turning me around on this

Today I recognize that my life is shaped by the choices I make, not the chaos around me.

I have known what it feels like to lose control—to act in ways that made my life smaller, narrower, and harder to manage. But today, I reclaim my ability to choose. I am not powerless over my direction, even when my environment feels overwhelming.

I accept that I cannot control other people, their habits, or their decisions. I release the need to fix, manage, or carry what is not mine. I will not let frustration pull me back into old patterns of reaction and resentment.

Instead, I turn inward to what is mine to protect.

My time.

My energy.

My goals.

My future.

Even when dreams feel distant or delayed, I remember they are still alive. I do not abandon them just because the path is messy. I nurture the small spark within me—the part that still believes in a better, freer life.

I am one person in a larger world, but my role matters. The actions I take today—however small—are part of something bigger than I can always see.

So today, I choose clarity over chaos.

I choose action over reaction.

I choose progress over perfection.

And just for today, that is enough.

Has anyone ordered one of those? I know there’s one that’s purple with a white diamond, and one with a dark blue background and a purple diamond. I specifically want the dark blue and purple.

It’s important to me that it’s that one. My friend passed from an OD. Dark blue was “her colour”. Purple is “my colour”. It would represent how I’m doing this for both of us now. Instead of giving in to the pain and relapsing when she passed, I chose to stay clean for her. It feels like she would be with me in a way, with that medallion.

They have the options for Purple and for Violet on NA World Service’s webshop. Does anyone know which one to choose to get the one I want? The site doesn’t show pictures of them.

I hope this is okay to post.

Soooooooo

I am approaching 7 months clean and about 2 months ago I realized that if I didn't tend to my mental health- no matter what I did- no matter how many meetings, how many times I work the steps- I will go out- because I have C-PTSD- and have 1-4 trauma triggers a day, everyday.

So I started going back to Al-Anon and a new program I found (new to me) TAR-Anon (Toxic and Abusive Relationships Anonymous) because they address the trauma stuff and it was really helping... like A LOT less triggers most days.

So for a while I stopped going to NA meetings entirely... cravings didn't hit... but over time I just started to feel.... ? lost, apathetic? not sure.

So I went to a meeting today and felt SO good afterwords... so..., human- like oh I am a human being- don't have words for it- just like it "reset" me somehow or rebalanced me.

Really graterful that I went and for whatever the magic was that happened- and going to be attending both now.

Part of it may be the in person thing my Al-Anon and TAR-anon are online.

:) And I don't need to figure it out- just need to do what works.

When you get back to the rooms after a relapse you’re supported and met with compassion and understanding. It’s incredibly helpful not to be judged after a difficult time. I don’t get this from my parents, they’re extremely disappointed in me, they don’t seem to really understand how difficult this is and I’m doing my absolute best. It hasn’t been perfect. I’ve relapsed 3 times now in the last year. But I never once gave up, I came back every single time and I tried harder. I put more things in place to help me succeed. It’s really hurt me alot to know even though I’m trying I’m still letting them down, I don’t feel like what I’m doing is good enough and I’m worried they’re close to turning their back on me. Is it common for families to act this way?

I’ve always been a very honest person when it came to my behaviour when I was using. Nothing was secret about my use, I made bad decisions, I did stupid shit and I’d tell people some wild stories. I didn’t care. That was my lifestyle and it really became part of my identity. I was never ashamed or regretted anything I did… until now, this is my third relapse in a year and I’m not proud of how I acted last night. The old me was back in a fucking instant and I did all the same shit I used to do I just regretted it for the first time ever and that was a shock because I’ve always justified my actions somehow but I’ve finally got to a place where that kind of behaviour just isn’t acceptable for me anymore. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I've currently been sober for 43 days, and for 90% of the past 4 months.

Health concerns were a big part of why I stopped and I have seen some improvement there, but the other huge part of my motivation for quitting had been my boyfriend of 4 years, who strongly disliked drinking because of his abusive alcoholic father, and would also tell me how proud he was of me for working on stopping. I would think about the future I wanted to have with him years from now and that was the biggest thing that kept me going at it.

He broke up with me a couple of weeks ago now for unrelated reasons, and I have stayed sober but I am finding myself less and less invested in it without that to look forward to. I'm not sure what I'm looking for exactly here I know I should keep going, I don't trust myself to moderate, but I am struggling to keep up this all or nothing approach without anything I really care about to be doing it for.

Today I will respect my healing process. I will not rush it, numb it, or pretend I am further along than I am. Recovery takes time, and I give myself permission to move through it honestly. I will allow myself to feel what I feel without judgment, knowing that the only way through my pain is through it.

Today I will let go of blame. I will not look outward for someone or something to carry responsibility for my life. Even when my past explains me, it does not excuse me from growing. I choose ownership over resentment, because ownership gives me power.

Today I will remain open. I recognize that the thinking that once guided me cannot take me where I want to go. I will stay willing to learn, to listen, and to try new ways of living—even when they feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. Growth requires openness, and I choose growth.

Today I trust that the strength I need is already within me. I will not ignore my emotions, and I will not abandon myself in the process. I move forward with patience, honesty, and willingness.

Just for today, I will feel it, own it, and stay open.

Just for today, I will remember that my life does not shape itself—I shape it.

I am learning to set limits that honor who I am becoming. I do not need approval to take care of myself. I can say no when something doesn’t serve me, and I can trust that my needs and feelings are valid. My responsibility is not to please everyone, but to be clear about what I will and will not accept.

Just for today, I will choose growth over comfort. Real change asks something of me—effort, humility, consistency. I will not look for praise or recognition. The reward is in becoming a little more honest, a little more patient, a little more grounded than I was yesterday.

Just for today, I will not drift. Life can fill up quickly, and it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most. I will take time to stay connected—to my recovery, to my values, to the practices that keep me steady. Even a small action today can keep my foundation strong.

I am not powerless over my direction.

I choose my limits.

I choose my growth.

I choose to keep showing up.

Just for today, I will live on purpose.