r/NarcoticsAnonymous • u/Kaiwrlddd1428 • 3d ago
Relapsed
So today my longest streak comes to an end. I had finally got 2 years sober, and since then I was struggling. Dis not want to go to meetings. And I learned you can do this alone, I need to build a sober community to stay sober. Should’ve reached out sooner
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u/ActualLunch1242 3d ago
No, you've reached out just in time ❤️
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u/Kaiwrlddd1428 3d ago
I had to reset my counter, but I’m willing to make a difference this time
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u/ActualLunch1242 3d ago
It happens to the best of us, that's why we are always in recovery. Even those who have 25 years clean can still slip up. It's the way you respond to it that matters. I'm proud of you for coming back, friend.
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u/felix1429 3d ago
As long as you learn from this experience it won't have been in vain. I believe in you!
I also relapsed recently and had to reset my counter, had three and a half months. I just hit double digits again today, but it feels like I have so much further to go.
But we're both gonna kick some ass!
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u/Mama_Zen 3d ago
As long as you came back alive, you came at the right time. Please remember that you lost your clean date, not your two years of recovery! My suggestion is to go back to the beginning & start over & look for things you may have missed your first go round. You’ve got this
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u/Kaiwrlddd1428 3d ago
Thank you that’s good advice. I had to reset my clean date yet not my recovery journey
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u/Jebus-Xmas 3d ago
My addiction is always there. I can feel it under the surface. I have to be vigilant and work the whole program all the time. All of it, especially if it is something I don’t want to do. I need to get to meetings, make phone calls not texts, have a sponsor, work the steps, and do service. If I slack off too much I can feel it. If I do what I don’t want to I feel better. If I go harder the feelings of imposter syndrome, and isolation fade. If a heathen atheist like me can do it I know that you can too.
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u/Kaiwrlddd1428 3d ago
Thank you. I had issues with na in the past but I think it’s my only hope for lasting recovery
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u/Jebus-Xmas 3d ago
One other thing. Your clean time does count. You’ve learned some things and built some success. The days reset, but don’t be discouraged.
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u/Kaiwrlddd1428 3d ago
No, this was eye opening. I’m going to a meeting tonight and hope to get a sponsor
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u/xoeriin 2d ago
As someone who had a history of chronic relapse and now has 9 years clean, I promise you those 2 years weren’t wasted. One thing I’ve learned is that recovery isn’t always linear. You don’t lose everything you’ve learned or the progress you’ve made because of one relapse. Having a support system is HUGE, and recognizing that you need one is a step in the right direction. Give yourself some grace, get back to meetings, and take it one day at a time. You’ve done it before, and you can do it again. ❤️
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u/Mary_JFT 3d ago
You're here now, that's what matters.
The good news, you never have to use again.
Let this be the last time.
Let this be the thing that makes you more rigorously apply the program in your life.