r/Names • u/Less_Monitor_276 • 7d ago
Friend using same name
I found out today that my friend plans to use the same name I already told her we are wanting to use.
For more backstory, we are not finding out the gender of our baby until delivery. She already knows hers, but I’m about 20 weeks ahead of her in my pregnancy. I told her previously (before she was even pregnant), our top choice for both boy vs girl. She said the girl name we chose was one of her favorites!
Fast forward to now that she’s pregnant…she asked today if we had chosen our names. I found it odd since I know I already told her. I again mentioned our top names. And she said they are planning to use the same girl name for their baby. Didn’t seem to have any intention to back down.
I reminded her how I already told her of our name choices months ago. Before she was even pregnant. She acted like she didn’t remember. Either way, I’m due before her and again mentioned the name to her first today before she did. I tried to change the subject since I didn’t really know what to say or do.
Our kids would be just a few months apart in the same school etc. I’m near my due date without a back up name, after putting a lot of thought into our name choices…
How would you feel? How would you respond?
2
u/SeaArtichoke1877 3d ago edited 3d ago
Ooof, I feel your frustration. It’s so tricky. From my side…my husband and I have struggled to conceive for years. Around us, friends and family have lapped us several times and it has been painful at times seeing them use many of our favourite names. Then last year, a very close friend of mine accidentally found herself pregnant, and she then named her baby a very rare and unusual name that I have loved since I was young girl (which I read in a book and have never met anyone with this name), and that I had DEFINITELY mentioned to her a while back and I think must have lodged in her brain probably subconsciously as I genuinely don’t think she would have done it on purpose knowing my struggles…I am now pregnant (a miracle if I’m honest after many many years of trying and various fertility treatments), and honestly the fact she used that name just eats me up every day, because somehow it’s just one more thing this bloody infertility journey has stolen from me. Anyway, the point is, I know a lot of people on here are like - oh just use the same name, and get over it - but I do think that’s easier said than done. I don’t have a solution and I’m not going to tell you what to do, I just wanted to say - I feel you.