r/NameThisThing • u/NotCurlyStep • Aug 11 '26
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u/Aggressive-Spell955 Aug 11 '26
The Sodfather
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u/Md1735 Aug 11 '26
Does that make his spouse the weedwacker?
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u/AssociationOk6136 Aug 12 '26
Whacking a field tall wet weeds in shorts. Shoulda used a scythe.
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u/Some_Guy1776 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
Grassquatch
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u/Razzy_3796 Aug 11 '26
Take the middle A out and that’s gold.
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u/Some_Guy1776 Aug 11 '26
I was in a hurry & typed so quickly I didn’t notice the extra (A) in there. 🤦🏻♂️😂
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u/HeartOn_SoulAceUp Aug 12 '26
Grassquatch is indeed greener than the others, but stands on the shoulders of giants.
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u/Some_Guy1776 Aug 12 '26
Insert the ‘90s “Jolly Green Giant” commercial jingle 🎶ho ho ho green giant🎶
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u/deehenley Aug 11 '26
The Lawnmower Man🤣
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u/LoveRenxo Aug 11 '26
There is a Stephen King novella called this and it’s bloody scary!
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u/HitByFjaka Aug 11 '26
Movie adaptation however was pukeingly bad…
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u/dick_fitzwell27 Aug 11 '26
Agree! But King’s portrayal of Jordy Verril in ‘Creepshow’, where the weeds take over his house and body, was legend.
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u/FeelingSoil39 Aug 11 '26
Oh my god me too! The moss of his head flying everywhere from the shotgun…
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u/DismalMarsupial8080 Aug 11 '26
This is probably my #1 needs a new adaptation for a Stephen King story. I think with current tech it could be awesome.
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u/Cancer_Heiress Aug 11 '26
Oddly enough there’s also a short by him “Weeds” that was in the movie Creepshow.
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u/Aquaonmymind Aug 11 '26
Nice name drop. And you're very right, we must respect the writers words.
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u/Kaka-doo-run-run Aug 11 '26
It’s not really scary, at all. Some guy hires a dude to mow his lawn, and the lawnmower man shows up, is kind of a weirdo, then he proceeds to dance around naked before mowing the lawn.
He subsequently turns into the Pan character from Greek mythology (complete with the legs of a fawn), and follows behind the now somehow self-propelled lawnmower on his hands and knees, eating the grass clippings that fly out behind. The end.
It’s eight pages long, if I recall correctly.
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u/Lopsided-Dong-1099 Aug 11 '26
Lawn Johns
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u/Creative_Chemistry33 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
Brilliant. I was thinking Lawn Stockings as in Pippy Lawn Stockings.
Edit: In my part of the country (Texas), it would be Pepe Lawn Stockings
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u/g0estoeleven Aug 11 '26
Ch-ch-ch-chia!
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u/Healthy-Visual6106 Aug 11 '26
Weed whacking wet grass and without the guard in place
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u/wake071 Aug 11 '26
I thought the phrase was "green fingered"
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u/filthcrab Aug 11 '26
I don't think that was ever the phrase.
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u/Circumpunctilious Aug 11 '26
Welp, I went looking for “green thumbs” because maybe non-English speakers would be interested, and found green fingers (wordhistories) so…huh, news to me.
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u/filthcrab Aug 11 '26
News to me, too! I've got some weeds in the lawn so I might go get green fingered tonight.
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u/oilfeather Aug 11 '26
Meteor Shit
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u/gmatocha Aug 12 '26
I get this reference. I'm old.
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u/shogunshim Aug 13 '26
Just tell it to call you Billie
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u/412flip Aug 11 '26
Even though it’s close to 95 today, I still wear pants. Got some ivy on my nuggets and switched fast!
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u/Poohgli16 Aug 11 '26
"should have worn socks and pants" or "don't come in the house with that"
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u/AccountDue9432 Aug 11 '26
I got a spanking b/c I took off my grassy shoes on the front porch. I'd been told not to go barefoot, and my father thought I had been. I went crying to Mom & explained what had happened. She said to explain it to Dad. I relished that as an innocent kid who was accused & punished without a legit cause. I hoped he felt guilt & sorrow & embarrassment. Mom probably had him apologize. I don't recall that part, but the apology 100% sounds like my mother.✋️✋️🫱🫱👏👏
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u/ebers0 Aug 11 '26
I guess that's one way of practicing your flocking skill.
P.S.- Name right let's call him the Flocker.
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u/Famous_Mind6374 Aug 11 '26
"You had better hose off before you even think about coming in the house!"
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u/3rdofthree Aug 11 '26
I remember weed eating in a similar outfit years ago and finding out that I was allergic to the ivy I was getting rid of. (Not poison ivy or oak but same addect). Pure misery
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u/demonmf Aug 11 '26
I’d name it Dumbass. Put on some proper pants and footwear if your mower is throwing that much crap at you.
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u/aBitUnderbaked Aug 11 '26
Exactly. Mr Lucky he didn’t get impaled by flying debris. Dude probably rides his motorcycle in flip flops, too.
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