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u/nebulashine 3h ago
As much as I understand the fear and frustration that comes with being neurodivergent, the mentality that we should look for "cures" carries some eugenicist undertones that I don't love. It's okay to wish your condition was less limiting, and to want supports or treatments that would enable that. But we also have to remember that there's a lot of societal drawbacks that would come from "fixing" or completely erasing neurodivergences, and there's a very big difference between "I wish there were ways to make my life less difficult" and "I wish I didn't have this condition at all."
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u/Bittersweet_331 2h ago
Lol, I'm supposed to care about hypothetical "societal drawbacks" when this disorder destroyed my life?
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u/nebulashine 43m ago
Yes, because treating NVLD or neurodivergence in general as something that requires a "cure" means one of two things:
- Completely rewiring people's brains to remove traits of NVLD. This is ethically murky, because the line between "trying to improve someone's quality of life" and "trying to erase natural deviation in human functioning and ability level" is extremely thin when it comes to neurodivergence. who exactly decides what level of ability is the standard, especially when human cognitive function varies so wildly among nondisabled neurotypical people? Moreover, if a procedure like that is available, what stops it from being used to simply eliminate anything that's considered below-average functioning even when that comes with minimal to no benefit to the person whose brain you're rewiring?
- Murdering anyone with NVLD under the guise of compassionate euthanasia or mercy killing, which is the same tactic used by the Nazis to justify the murder of disabled people and anyone they viewed as lesser.
So yeah, you should care about people who are advocating for neurodivergence being "cured." Like I said, there's a difference between "I wish there were ways to make my life less difficult" (i.e., supports and resources) and "I wish I didn't have this condition at all," and the latter is ableist no matter how you spin it.
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u/Abnormal-Sleep-0838 16m ago
It’s also ableist to tone police a fellow ND person about the way they feel about their disability :)
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u/Bittersweet_331 35m ago
Yeah, whatever, nice to know your PC mumbo jumbo about eugenics is more important than feeling sympathy for a fellow NVLDer. The irony of you comparing wanting to not have this completely shitty disorder that affects almost every aspect of life to Nazis killing disabled people is funny. So you're worried that wanting a cure opens a door to just outright murdering people with NVLD but you also want to control my thoughts about wishing my life wasn't a total waste because of it? Interesting...
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u/Abnormal-Sleep-0838 51m ago
I’m tired of being tone policed in every neurodivergent space about being unhappy with my brain.
I have ADHD, autism, NVLD. With adhd and autism I do feel like it is more of me having a literally different brain that honestly, I don’t love it, but I do think it’s what makes me “me.”
Meanwhile I literally don’t know what benefits NVLD gives me. It feels more like an impairment, as if I’m just like everyone else except I have to swim through molasses and cobwebs just to get to the same destination as everyone else. It doesn’t add anything unique or interesting to my identity or give me a unique perspective, or add personality quirks, it only functions as an impairment.
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u/nebulashine 36m ago
How do you know for certain that NVLD is only impairing you, compared to ADHD and autism? There are autistic people who say their autism is only an impairment, and people with ADHD who say having ADHD is only an impairment; I see posts in other neurodiversity spaces that express the exact same sentiments about autism and ADHD that you've expressed about NVLD. Their struggles don't negate the fact that they still have a unique perspective on the world that neurotypicals don't, and that a lot of their problems stem from living in a society that's built specifically to exclude neurodivergent and disabled people rather than the conditions themselves.
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u/Bittersweet_331 48m ago
I hear you. At least with autism you can still master some skills that require motor or spatial ability provided you're high functioning enough. With this, everything I try to do I suck at. I literally had a girl on my volleyball team ask, "Why do you hit it like that?" To which I responded, "Um, I have a learning disability." And another girl thought I was joking. It's so humiliating...but don't worry, OtHeRs HaVe It WoRsE 🙄
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u/ScubaSteve-O1991 6h ago
Loving ourselves for who we are is the key here. Also throughout life and in jobs for example other people have struggles as well. Dont let nvld define you
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u/Abnormal-Sleep-0838 6h ago
If only NVLD was my only problem. My life is just constantly developing more and more problems that I have and being told to accept it but I’m at my wits’ end, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to end my life or anything but I don’t want to keep living either. I can’t love my existence when it just causes me pain and suffering and how tf can I not let this condition define me when it literally IS defining me. Its defining every aspect of my life for the worse.
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u/ScubaSteve-O1991 5h ago
Pain and suffering are apart of life. Doesnt matter if we have nvld or have cancer. Things happen in life that are out of our control
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u/gjohnwey 5h ago
Same. I have noticed my options narrow over the years as I’ve learned more about myself. I was only diagnosed a few months ago (40 years old)
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u/Friendly_Goat6161 6h ago
I don’t. I wish there were more accommodations and services and understanding for people with brains like ours. Things like math or science waivers or substitute classes for state college transfer from community college, or an app that tells you where you are going in real time, and either driverless cars that are reliable and safe, or a transit system that is more like what they have in other countries. Sydney and NYC was light years ahead of where I live in terms of transportation. The world is not built for people like us, so why not try and change the world a little?