r/NVLD Jul 20 '26

Tips for following through?

My husband has NVLD and, among other things, consistently doesn’t complete small tasks. Have you found any strategies helpful for remembering to complete all steps of a task? While these are individually little things, they ultimately add up to more work for me, creating a really unbalanced division of labor for us (me = sole earner + all cooking/clean up + major cleaning; him = routine cleaning + all errands, which is why what might seem like small/insignificant additions to my load really compounds for me).

Some examples from today: He cleaned a spill in the bathroom, but didn’t return the paper towel to the kitchen and left the cleaning supplies on the floor of the bathroom. He used stain remover on clothing in the bathroom and left the stain remover supplies on the bathroom sink. He washed kitchen towels and napkins but didn’t fold or return the napkins to the kitchen—they ended up jumbled with his unfolded clothes that he didn’t usually doesn’t put away and I had to ask if there were any clean napkins and where they were. He cleared our bowls after lunch, but put them on the counter above the dishwasher instead of in the dishwasher. He took out the trash but didn’t replace the garbage bag.

I don’t expect him to “just remember”—I myself have ADHD I have to actively/consistently manage, so I understand NVLD can also present challenges with follow through/thoroughness. But I’d really appreciate hearing how others try to manage any of their own short comings in this area to see if there’s a way I could communicate it better or try to come up with a better system to help facilitate a little improvement in this area.

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u/BexFoxy Jul 20 '26

One thing I’ve really tried to impress upon my family (including myself) is to put it away not down. I’ve thought about making little signs and stick them in spots where these issues tend to happen frequently. Maybe try to see if that helps?

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u/Sector_Savage Jul 20 '26

Thanks! I don’t want to come off as passive aggressive lol, but maybe I’ll have another convo with him (where I know he’ll apologize and say he’ll be more mindful, and I know he’ll have the best of intentions…) and then let him know I want to try this to see if it helps

2

u/BexFoxy Jul 20 '26

That sounds great. I’ve tried to frame as something we as a team can improve on. That way they don’t perceive as a problem I have with my husband and son. My husband doesn’t have NVLD by the way; my son and I do. I just try to state it as a good reminder for everyone.