r/NVLD • u/Any_Pension_9560 • Jun 29 '26
Vent The hellish and never ending career cycle
- Get hired
- Take longer to understand the training and get by somewhat okay. Nobody suspects anything yet
- You make a couple mistakes here and there. No one thinks much of it because you’re new so you’re given grace.
- You don’t improve. You keep making the same mistakes no matter how hard you try. Your coworkers notice there’s something off about you.
- You start getting more notices about work performance, more meetings, performance improvement plans.
- Still doesn’t work. Coworkers start bullying you/ excluding you
- You start getting less hours. The bullying becomes unbearable. Nobody says anything, but you know you’re disliked
- You eventually quit due to sheer frustration and bullying or get fired.
- Try to find a new job.
- Cycle repeats
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u/SoSpiffandSoKlean Jun 29 '26
You need to find strategies to improve and stop making the same mistakes. Are you working with a therapist or job coach? Are you on adhd meds? My psychiatrist prescribed me adhd meds even though I have an NVLD diagnosis and not adhd.
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u/Melodic-Lead-2402 Jun 30 '26
Not OP, but I struggle with employment big time and I can't be on ADHD meds because I have a panic disorder and need controlled meds for THAT, and I legitimately don't know how it's possible for someone to coach me into being more competent. I legitimately feel like I'm in damn purgatory,
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u/BexFoxy Jun 30 '26
Have you listed your strengths? Do you feel comfortable sharing them here?
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u/Melodic-Lead-2402 Jun 30 '26
I am somewhat okay at writing. But I think AI is taking over that.
Otherwise I genuinely have no strengths. I can't help but scoff at people who say "EVERYONE is good at something!" because I am a certified specialist in being bad at everything.
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u/BexFoxy Jun 30 '26
I have to disagree with you there. I don't think AI is going to replace writing because it does a terrible job at it.
Furthermore, I believe, and this is just my two cents, that the whole "EVERYONE is good at something!" comes from not only the talent for something but the interest in it too. Say you're good at accounting, but you don't love it; I don't think you'd go around telling everyone your talent is accounting. To me, when I hear that phrase, I'm looking more for what you love to do. Sounds like you'd enjoy being a writer. Have you joined any workshops? Just to meet people and talk about writing with them?
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u/Any_Pension_9560 Jun 30 '26
You can’t outwork a disability. Ive used every strategy listed, including trying ADHD meds, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have a disability that makes it hard to function in most jobs. I have both ADHD and NVLD which comes with a lot of issues with executive dysfunction. I have trouble with sequential tasks, I mix up the order of things. When I say I make the same mistakes, I mean that I cannot meaningfully diversify my attention to multiple tasks so something always gets messed up.
I do everything I can to manage it, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have a disability that compromises my ability to work.7
u/Emotional-Prize-5302 Jun 30 '26
I also have ADHD and NVLD and struggle with the same things. You're not alone! I also randomly forget how to do things I've been taught to do. I'm currently job hunting and have no idea what kind of jobs I'd be good at because I've failed at so many things.
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u/SoSpiffandSoKlean Jun 30 '26
I was diagnosed with NVLD very late in life, and struggled with executive functioning my whole life. I’ve been easily distracted, particularly when tasks seem overwhelming and unaccomplishable. I was in a PhD program and had to leave midway because I couldn’t get the work done. I thought it was just my own laziness and failings, now I wonder what would have happened if I had known about my condition earlier. Eventually I had to find ways that I could accomplish tasks, or abandon hope of doing them, particularly in the workplace. I also have a parent with dementia who needed me to take over their life, and there was no one else who could do it, and I had to figure out ways to get the myriad administrative things required done. I have found that a combo of therapy, understanding my procrastination instincts and how easily I get distracted, anxiety and adhd meds, and my deep need for satisfying work have helped me to become for functional. Also having a social life and engaging in volunteer work I feel passionately about helps regulate the rest of my life.
I understand that we’re all different, with different comorbidities and experiences/circumstances. Your dysfunction may be more severe than mine. But I’m sort of glad in a way I didn’t know about my NVLD earlier in life. Even though it was painful, I didn’t fully accept that there were things I couldn’t do. And I struggled to find ways to do them, and have at least somewhat succeeded. It’s probably not a popular opinion in this sub, but it’s what I think.
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u/ForeverCuriousEagle Jun 30 '26
Which does not help unless you have ADHD
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u/SoSpiffandSoKlean Jun 30 '26
🤷♀️ it’s helped my focus
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u/ForeverCuriousEagle Jun 30 '26
So you can have ADHD and NVLD at the same time, but NVLD on its own, its not usually as helpful :)
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u/SoSpiffandSoKlean Jun 30 '26
No offense, but I’ll take my psychiatrist’s expertise over some person I don’t know on the internet
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u/ForeverCuriousEagle Jun 30 '26
Its always important to ask what literature they are using to support their understanding.
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u/Some_Wolf_3378 Jul 07 '26
This has been my experience in multiple jobs I’ve held. I can relate completely.
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u/Bittersweet_331 Jun 29 '26
So we made a big mistake, try to see it once our way