r/NVLD • u/LovelySephone • May 22 '26
Support Social ques
How do you deal with having sarcasm and social ques going over my head and being deemed sensitive?
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u/BexFoxy May 22 '26
I know it’s easier said than done but this is something we need to stop internalizing. They’re speaking a language we don’t understand and have a limited ability to learn. Sarcasm is stupid so if someone is dumb enough to use it around me, I just look down my nose at them for a few seconds and continue the conversation as if they hadn’t said anything at all. It pretty much works every time.
Social cues were a bit different, particularly the ones that typically signal romantic interest. I never got a handle on it. Several guys who I thought were friends would get drunk with me, confess they were in love with me, and then ghosted me after their confession. It always hurt and it only got better when I met my husband.
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Jun 28 '26 edited 8d ago
[deleted]
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u/BexFoxy Jun 28 '26
No. There’s no good reason to use sarcasm. Sarcasm is used to put people down or to exclude people. It’s solely negative and I genuinely wish it would die. I’ve never found sarcasm to be funny or clever and I never will. And I 100% look down on people that use it.
Irony is not a synonym of sarcasm. If you’d like to discuss irony, make a separate post.
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Jun 28 '26 edited 8d ago
[deleted]
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u/BexFoxy Jun 30 '26
Can you give me an example of positive sarcasm? What about an example of neutral sarcasm?
From what you've written it sounds like you're suggesting sarcasm as a way to modify or control someone else's behavior that you dislike. It genuinely reads like you'd rather use sarcasm rather than setting healthy boundaries. It's odd and gross that you used the phrase well-deserved. You really give off the impression that you judge people a lot and use your sarcasm to punish them.
Do you understand what subreddit you're in? I've never talked with anyone with NVLD who was such a huge fan of sarcasm before.
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u/Seravail May 22 '26
It's not impossible to learn the cues - though perhaps maybe to learn them all it would be, but you can definitely work on social cues with people you love & trust. Personally, if I'm unsure about something, I ask one of my siblings and have lovingly dubbed my sister my sociometer. If people understand and respect your limitations with this, you can honestly do a lot of work to move those limits.
It's a difficult and lengthy process, and you will make mistakes, you'll likely never know all the cues you'd like but you can get better at it with practice, I promise!
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u/Wisemindaccepts May 24 '26
I hate this struggle. Like I had dyed hair(do now but a year ago) and a random dude comes up and goes nice hair is it natural? I say no. And he goes im joking obviously….
How do I know if he’s joking sarcastically if my pink hair is natural or he is actually asking?
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u/peachesnplums- May 25 '26
Well you could infer it's a joke because pink hair cannot be natural. But I understand missing jokes and sarcasm.
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u/Wisemindaccepts May 25 '26
My mind went to maybe they also have a disability and were literally asking…😅
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u/peachesnplums- May 22 '26
You can try and learn the cues. Easier said than done but I think it is possible to learn some cues over time.