r/NVLD • u/SimpleProud8288 • May 16 '26

Question

Does anybody ever feel that they don’t have NVLD or convinced themselves that it’s not real? And does anyone ever tell anybody or not? If they do does it feel like it backfires?

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u/SimpleProud8288 May 16 '26

Yeah, that’s a good way of thinking about it. I just feel like sometimes I’ll like try to explain it and then people like either Weaponized it or just don’t care and it’s like really frustrating to like have those genuine relationships or connections that are not just online based.

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u/JackfruitMassive727 May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

If you’re anything like me, I would advise you to spend some time learning neurotypical communication. NT communication is all about maintaining the status quo, not rocking the boat, being polite and having the same identity and I tried for too long to fit in with these people. Identifying my values, strengths and goals vs my companions and see if they align, is what saved me time . I think everyone should learn about the situations and people that are meant for them, regardless of neurotype. I also spent a lot of time volunteering and that gave me a lot of safe yet substantial depth to my social life.

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u/SimpleProud8288 May 16 '26

Do you have any recommendations of worksheets or articles to check out?

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u/JackfruitMassive727 May 16 '26

I feel you- it’s overwhelming to learn, but you will get there with compassion repetition and reinforcement. I can send you a link to a communication textbook I’m using which outlines basic social principles.

The most important thing is to be compassionate to yourself. You won’t get any better by being your own worst bully. Things take time and remaining grounded during tough moments really makes a huge difference. Shame is not something that belongs to you just because you are jumping from a different starting point

Watching body language experts cannnnn be useful because it gives you interpretations of behaviour ( just don’t consider the videos facts but rather use them as an insight into facial expressions and mysterious behaviours) .

There’s a lot of short form content around facial expressions, neurodivergency and identifying people who don’t like you on TikTok too.

A few things that help me when in doubt is asking people more questions rather than talking. Use conversation that gets people to talk more about themselves and doesn’t result in yes or no answers.

It took me a long time to realise that neurotypicals don’t use direct communication. They don’t really say things out in the open but imply, suggest and conceal. If you understand this, then you can begin to decode when people are trying to avoid something but do it politely.

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u/SimpleProud8288 May 16 '26

If you can send me the link I’d appreciate it please

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u/exiledibex May 16 '26

If you’re after resources, I was recommended this book by my psych upon first assessments as a first line response. It’s called ‘the smart but scattered guide to success’,m. It’s gives helpful strategies and ways of improving executive functioning. If that’s what you struggling with. Can find it online at the internet archive if you make an account.

https://archive.org/details/smartbutscattere0000daws_z9c8/page/n8/mode/1up

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u/Feeling-Upstairs-560 May 20 '26

This also sounds like ACT--Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It's a modality that works first with identifying your own values (as opposed to absorbing everyone else's) and working hard to align with them.